I have been dating a wonderful man for 3 years now. He lost his wife nearly 4 years ago. Just wondering would you leave a picture of your beloved departed wife in your bedroom that you share intimate moments with the woman that you share your time with now? How many pictures of your past wife would you leave up? Why do you go into another world when you are with the woman that you are dating? I have been a single mom for most of my children's life but I do know the pain that one goes through when losing someone. I love this man very much however I do know when he is not with me in mind in this day and age it does hurt and I feel like walking and I would like to know why as a widower or even a widow why do this? He does not even like to stay over reason being that tomorrow is another working day but come the weekend on Friday and Saturday he expects me to stay over at his place. I just once would like to say sorry and yes just to show him that it does not feel so good when I don't want to stay. He does so much for me and we spend so much time with one another but when I ask him why in deep thought he has no thoughts and has a very hard time telling me he loves me. Will not say it out loud will email it to me only if I email it first and at times will not answer. Does that mean he does not have those deep feelings for me? He always tells me that I am special and does not know what he would do with out me. I used to turn him on all the time and I mean all the time and now it is maybe twice a week. Is this because we see one another every day. I am overweight and trying my best to lose. At times I feel that I am the cause that he seems to be in outer space!
Does that mean he does not have those deep feelings for me?
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When we don't feel good about ourselves our mind has a way of convincing us other people have a problem with us. Obviously losing weight would do wonders for your own esteem, but I believe when you have a real love for someone weight isn't something that is a deal breaker. Anyway, I would say the decrease in his sex drive has more to do with the amount of time you've been together. It's pretty typical for things to slow down as the relationship progresses. At any rate you should continue making lifestyle changes for optimal health.
I have no experience with a widower, but my grandpa got remarried after my grandma passed away. The woman he married was a widow. I can say from watching them and being around them they'll never have a relationship like their first "loves" if you will. They both have pictures of their late spouses around the house. I think after you've spent any amount of time with someone it's expected. It doesn't mean he doesn't love for or care about you, but it's naive of you to believe you could replace his first wife. I mean unless he has a picture of her hanging over the headboard and he calls you her name during sex I pretty much think him keeping some pictures of her around is a non-issue. I think you're ready to take the relationship to the next level and he sounds content with how things are and you're looking for reasons why he may not want to progress further. The best advice I have for you is to have a serious talk with him and let him know you need to know where he sees the relationship going. A heart to heart talk will probably clear a lot of things up. If he's unwilling to open up and be honest with you then you'll have to make a decision to either continue the relationship or move on.
I'm not sure that made a whole lot of sense, I kind of rambled, but best of luck to you.0
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