Guys, can you share you thoughts with the Awkward Dating in LA ladies?

Hello gentlemen of the Girls ask Guys community.

We would love to get your response to the following questions;

1. If you could change one thing about the dating scene what would it be?

2. What is the biggest turn off for you when meeting a woman?

3. What are the things that stand out for you, when you meet a woman that really captures your attention?

We'd prefer video responses if possible as well as written ones.

Thanks,

Ione and Tamara @ Awkward Dating in LA


Updates:
Thank you so much for everyones feedback so far, some of the responses are incredibly insightful. We have an online dating show and would like to use some of your answers for it, this is why we were asking for videos. To those we've "up" for your response would you mind making a video on your phone or laptop and submit it here so we can use it? Thanks again, Ione and Tamara :)
Here is the link to our myTake about this question: What the opposite sex have to say about Dating
Hi Guys! Thanks again for all your help. Here is our video; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1RkrlixWZ8

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Most Helpful Guy

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    • Humorous and realistic.

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    • Funny you ladies are posting up about this. I also live in LA and I've been bitching about the dating scene for awhile lol.

      1. There's a tie. I would lower expectations. Too many people have "standards" that are entirely unrealistic: Educated women deigning to speak to successful tradesmen, Women expecting men to be chivalrous without quite understanding the social context and expectations of our modern society, Looks. I don't mean to sound like I'm bashing women but I'm a dude so that's what I see, I'm sure guys have unrealistic expectations as well.

      Also, people need to be more sociable. Cindi Lauper said it best, Nobody Walks In LA. Everyone is stuck in their steel cages to and from work. Everyone is in their own little bubbles- plugged in- while at the markets and gyms. People out here are INCREDIBLY cliquish and only go out when in groups, even in broad daylight when there is really no need to fear for safety. Then there are the misconceptions:

    • My bad dude, I tried posting up my own comment... lol

What Guys Said 33

  • See, Ione? I TOLD you I was going to do it! I'm a good sport!

    P. S. This was my first ever YouTube video! :-D

    https://youtu.be/dQDZ9YpjxzE

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    • I answered the main questions in the first half of the video! :-P

      I'll send the original clip to your email as well in case u need to edit.

    • Hi Anthony, this is great! You definitely made the cut and congrats on your first youtube video. I bet we've unleashed a monster now, you'll make hundreds of them! We'll have the episode up on Thursday for you to check out! Thanks again.

    • The beast has officially arisen! :-D

      Glad I could help! #AwkwardDatingInLA

      P. S. I made this video using an outdated VGA camera on my tablet, it came out looking far better than I expected!

  • I don't think you want a video from a 60 year old Southern man because what I say wouldn't be too relevant to dating in L. A. Anyway. . . here are my answers for what I perceive to be the dating scene for younger people.

    1. If you could change one thing about the dating scene what would it be?

    Young people seem to be afraid to admit that what they are doing involves their feelings because they don't want to risk being hurt. They're not dating; they're just chillin'. They're dating, but it's not "official!" They're dating but it's nothing serious. It's just friends with benefits (but at least one of them is in love and afraid to admit it.)

    2. What is the biggest turn off for you when meeting a woman?

    She won't stop talking about herself.

    3. What are the things that stand out for you, when you meet a woman that really captures your attention? Her appearance shows that she cares about herself and her image. She dresses appropriate to her age and the circumstances. She has the manners that I expect to find in a lady.

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    • Hi @olderandwiser thank you for taking the time to respond, we really liked you response and would love a video from you if you wouldn't mind? An iphone or computer recording would be great if you can so we can use it on our show.

  • Funny you ladies are posting up about this. I also live in LA and I've been bitching about the dating scene for awhile lol.

    1. There's a tie. I would lower expectations. Too many people have "standards" that are entirely unrealistic: Educated women deigning to speak to successful tradesmen, Women expecting men to be chivalrous without quite understanding the social context and expectations of our modern society, Looks. I don't mean to sound like I'm bashing women but I'm a dude so that's what I see, I'm sure guys have unrealistic expectations as well.

    Also, people need to be more sociable. Cindi Lauper said it best, Nobody Walks In LA. Everyone is stuck in their steel cages to and from work. Everyone is in their own little bubbles- plugged in- while at the markets and gyms. People out here are INCREDIBLY cliquish and only go out when in groups, even in broad daylight when there is really no need to fear for safety. Then there are the misconceptions: Every guy out there is only there for a lay. Just cause the loud ones are the ones cat calling you doesn't mean we're all like that. It goes without saying that they are normally successful which is why they're doing that in the first place.

    2. When they misbehave/are rude. I've asked simple questions to strangers and I've been completely blown off or they just look at me bug eyed like I'm the biggest creep west of the Mississippi. I'm good looking but not THAT good looking. Lord, I only asked where Tyson Street was...

    3. When she's open, inviting, non-judgmental. How she treats others and if she seems down to earth. Any signs of shallowness or superficiality are grounds for moving on.

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    • I just re-read this and really like what you said, expectations are too high is a great point and I do think a lot of time they are too high but is there anything wrong with having high standards? Being unrealistic is a good point though, how do you know when you're being unrealistic? Its a tough one.

    • Ask yourself if that thing you are demanding is, in actuality, all that crucial to the relationship. If your demand is based on preference then that means you are probably asking for too much.

  • 1. Messages--especially when asking her out--being lost in translation. It's hard to know how she is interpreting what I'm saying. Asking women straight away for a date can yield the response, "Well, I need time to get to know you," while asking them to hang out can lead to them mistakenly believing you want to be friends. There isn't a generally-accepted middle ground for asking out that seems to work for most women. If there is one, I would certainly like to know it.

    2. Using sarcasm to belittle people, having reticent body language and not showing visible signs of interest, refusing to smile and carry on a conversation, and being a downer. I want someone who's alive and happy and actually seems to like me.

    3. Beyond physical attractiveness? When it's clear from her words that she's clever or has some hidden mystery to her, when she smiles coyly, laughs easily, and jokes in a light-hearted manner, and when she plays with her hair/meets my eyes/otherwise exhibits signs of interest. The last ones are usually subconscious, though. and come out naturally.

    I don't know how to make videos but I hope this helps.

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    • Hi, we really liked your response, please could you put your answers on video so we can use it in our show? Thank you.

    • Okay, tell me if the link doesn't work:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPm7YzrzU14

      Thanks just for pushing me to finally trying uploading videos! Although, I hate being reminded of what my voice sounds like.

    • Thank you Kinstrome for your video! You have some great responses with valuable insight that would be great for the show. We are posting the show Thursday and will provide a link here as well. Thanks again for your help, and your voice sounds great! :-)

  • There should be some form of binding arbitration of relationship issues, some recognized authority. We have that with the court system now to some extent, but for situations not involving violence or money issues, and something not tied to the government bureaucracy.

    What turns me off? material girls, the most common sort in the modern USA, naturally. together with conformists... male or female, people who only spew propaganda.

    What I remember about someone is if they have their own inner voice and listen to that instead of their peers, or Oprah, etc.

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  • 1. When a woman approaches me she needs to realize that it is not a 100% guarantee that she will be well received and that she does actually face the potential of rejection. Just because I am in a club alone does not mean I need or want company. If she is cool she can join me, if she is presumptuous she should stay far away. Just because she is a female approaching means nothing at all to me, it is a good thing women approach but they should remember that I am also able to approach. If i am dancing and not approaching take it as a signal that you may face rejection.

    2. Having other males with me trying to tell me how to live my life, who to sleep with and telling girls my personal stuff when I have already said no, go away to said women.

    3. It's awesome when women dance. Especially if she is dancing and looking at me whilst rejecting other people. It makes me laugh and is very cool to see. In such a situation I am happy to start talking but again, talking means little! Stop with the presumptions! How would a woman like it if I kept presuming 'wow we are talking, she's going to have sex with me.'

    To summarize; women need to stop with their presumptions all together. So do men in fact.

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  • 1. If you could change one thing about the dating scene what would it be?
    Women taking the initiative more often, either with talking to guys or for sex.

    2. What is the biggest turn off for you when meeting a woman?
    Likely shyness / lack of confidence in herself.

    3. What are the things that stand out for you, when you meet a woman that really captures your attention?
    Exotic looks (like hair, clothing, or a highly-fit body.) If she's projecting herself to be a sort of 'badass' type of woman. A free expression of the sexual nature.
    But nothing grabs my attention more than when a girl just simply starts a conversation with me.

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  • 1. If you could change one thing about the dating scene what would it be?

    Girls are more of receivers than doners in a date as in a guy is suppose to open up the conversations, pay for things and generally be a white knight.

    2. What is the biggest turn off for you when meeting a woman?

    shallowness rude behavior

    3. What are the things that stand out for you, when you meet a woman that really captures your attention?

    The biggest thing that would stand out for me if the girl showed genuine interest in me as in the things I do in my life and who I am as an individual as opposed to the 7.5 billion other humans in the planet. that would send me strong signals that there is potential here.

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    • Hi @apexalpha, we really liked your responses, would you mind making a video so we can use it in our show? It doesn't have to be an excellent recording, even on your iphone or laptop would be great.

  • 1) I don't know if this really fits your question... but I would like to eliminate Friend-zone... where generally all the nice guys our found.. I know you women can't date every guy they meet and I also believe Girls and Guys can be 'just friends' but don't just make that "Friend-zone" uncross-able barrier... I mean don't just forget the guys after putting them there.. After all if he can be your friend then why can't he be your boyfriend.. I'll give you an Idea of what happens..

    A nice guy meets a girl.. he starts to like her.. want to get to know her more... Starts out by being friend... wants to take things slowly and smoothly..
    An average girl meets a guy.. he's been nice to her.. they become friends.. now she forgets he could be a potential 'boyfriend' too.. she starts see other guys and even talk about 'other' guys and 'relationship' with that guy 'friend'.. Guy stuck in the 'friend-zone..
    An bold guy (not necessary asshole but sometimes) meets a girl.. he starts by flirting, complimenting.. then he asks her out.. girl goes on date with him... then touching, kissing and sex... after some time due to some reason the they break up... girl cries on 'friend's' shoulder... says why all men are same... why can't be they all be like 'you'.. after sometime they get over it and start dating another asshole..

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  • 1. Change one thing;
    playing hard to get.. seriously if it's only a game to you girls you've just
    won it. i'm off.

    2. Biggest turn off;
    Ego/bitchy personality
    (no offense) thats just how you act around friends right?

    3. Things that stand out;
    Random crazy womanly flaws, may it be a funny face or lovely smile that
    melts me. And of course a fire 'ish character/personality to fit with.

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    • Sorry we mean't to "up" this comment but now we can't change it. Thanks for your comment we found it helpful.

    • Also 2heyjustbeingme we really liked your responses, would you mind making a video so we can use it in our show. Just basically your answers on camera would be great.

  • 1. If I could change one thing about the entire California dating scene - more women. Everywhere I go there are more guys than girls. I've been to other places where the ratio seems much more balanced.

    2. Rudeness or arrogance are the probably the most obvious, assuming the basic standards of hygiene are met.

    3. A positive attitude and a considerate personality.

    Would one of you be up for a drink sometime :)

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    • Hi @zagor we really liked your answers would you mind putting it on camera so we can use a clip in our show? Many thanks.

  • 1. It depends on where you live, but I shouldn't have to pay for everything just because I'm a guy. Also, the women can decide where to go for once, too. Don't crave a man that takes the lead, then complain about where we're going.

    2. Women that are clearly looking for a free meal or women that are too tame. I hate having to feel like I have to walk on eggshells or try to force conversation out of you.

    3. A woman that seems like she has her own mind, passions, and beliefs (as long as they aren't too crazy like being a social conservative). Anyone can look or be hot, but I need to know you're not a complete ditz or just plain dumb. Be able to talk about something other than nails and hair.

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    • Hi @bigbuttLvr thank you for your response, we especially like the first 2 points because we think that is a good point to talk about, girls using guys for free dinner is not cool and I know it happens a lot here in LA. Would you mind putting your answers on tape for us? iphone or laptop recording would be fine.

    • Thanks a lot. But I'm really camera shy, or I'd already have my own videos lol.

  • 1. More girls realizing that it's ok and not slutty/desperate to make the first move.

    2. No manners or any sense of social decorum. Also, if the girl is too loud or trying to attract attention. Resting bitch face.

    3. How she responds to others, the way she carries herself, her dress sense, class, how much she is willing to engage in conversation.

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    • Hi @suitandtie we really like your responses, would you mind putting them on camera so we could use them in our show? Just you saying those things on tape would be great, you made some really good points.

  • I've heard about LA ladies, gorgeous :P

    1. No mind games, like wait for x number of days to call her back and don't text too soon or first because it makes you look like a ho or a desperate virgin boy.

    2. She is hard to please and too stiff, bossy/bitchy, angry bird, too loud, dresses slutty for attention.

    3. Good manners, modest, kind, looks after herself.

    Sorry no vid ladies.

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    • Hi @Radon, we really liked your response, especially the one about no mind games, I totally agree! Would you mind making a video on your phone or computer so we can use it in our show? thank you.

    • Love to ladies, but I don't really do well on camera xx

    • clearly you haven't heard about LA ladies because everything you said you dont want is what they are

  • 1. that it's less stressful and feels less like one chance to impress and more like a starting step into the future.
    2. Would be being nasty or rude
    3. For me it would be like a bit of my heart has been stolen, what women don't understand is that decent guys like me when they fall in love don't look at other women ever.

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  • I have no Idea why "LA women" would be considered an ideal like a trophy wife. Cali or LA has got nothing in value. Just like the geography as to the culture there, everything seems to be meaningless, lifeless mountains, barren wasteland... etc ..

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  • I watched all your videos and I think I are the worat reprisentation of women alive. Anything thT is not you is ok.

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    • I watched all your videos and u dont have trou le meeting men. You dont have trouble meeting men thats a lie. You have trouble meeting men that u want. Now why is that. For one you're old both of you look to be pushing forty. On top of that you're too picky for your age. The time for being picky was twenty years ago now u are just confirming your dating decisions.

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    • 52? You mean combined, right?

    • If you're 52 I wonder what the hell I look like lmao

  • 1. um... I don't know, I never dated anyone before

    2. she has that "i'm busy or I need to be somewhere" look or glares at me even if it's on accident

    3. she smiles at me with open eyes when we make eye contact... that would melt my heart especially if she's pretty.

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  • What do these woman asking do for a living? Look for men to spoil and take care of them financially?
    Just curious.
    LA woman are for the most part , uneducated , clueless , bimbos that can't support themselves with out a man.
    So much for the independant woman thesedays. Let's all move to LA and work full time trying to find a sucker

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  • 1. I would like to be a woman. Or gay.
    2. I don't know.
    3. Beyond being beautiful, the thing that stands out the most is if she is bravehearted. I have so much respect for that. Insanely attractive.

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  • Why LA? It's it cuz of patty Stanger that 40 to hitch who lives there and gets paid to get up blind dates

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    • And OMG is that patty ever nasty. Fools pay her to meet potential mates? Seriously? She's no match maker. Just a business. And set up dead beat woman with successful men. The men who pay her for service should all get refunds. The men are sick of being set up with party's broke ass friends looking for a Ritch man to take care of them !!
      Patty and all she makes herself out to be makes me sick !

    • Quite a bit of typos I did. Bitch then set up and yo.

  • dating only benefits the female. Why waste time when the guy is always the lucky one to have the girl. Females have it 95% easier than females in the dating world.

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  • Girls want to marry me but I am waiting for the right one because I want my soulmate.

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  • too many questions, I've zoned out already! lol I might respond later, lol

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  • Make sure they are fake as possible, from their mind to their intestines.

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  • i think @iamhereforsex have the answers for this questions..

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  • 1. If you could change one thing about the dating scene what would it be? With our hook up culture, I feel rushed into getting sexual before I am ready. It is so expected that men are sexually aggressive that any guy that isn't comes off as either not being interested in the woman, or lacking the courage to make a move.

    I bond very strongly from sex and can't do it with someone I don't already have strong feelings for. As a guy I don't think that is respected or even understood by a lot of people.

    2. What is the biggest turn off for you when meeting a woman? Sexism. As soon as a woman starts talking about being oppressed by men she has forever lost my interests. I don't know anyone that is trying to control her, or take her rights away. If she feels the need to bring this up right away then I take it as the sign of a woman that has huge issues with men.

    I am also tired of women complaining about double standards such as being slut shamed, only for her to turn around and call men perverts, creeps, players, and many other names that really are just the male form of slut shaming. Women with these types of double standards always find a way to excuse her behavior, while shifting all blame to the guy. Once I spot this sexist behavior I see it as a red flag and get the hell away from her.

    3. What are the things that stand out for you, when you meet a woman that really captures your attention? How considerate she is of others. For example I have talked to several people about their problems on here, and only one has ever bothered to ask me how I was doing. People are just very self absorbed, so one that isn't really stands out to me. I don't mind talking about the girl, and I don't even really like talking about myself, but I do want to know that she cares enough to ask and to listen if something were to happen that I wanted or needed to talk about. The relationship can't all be about her.

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  • If she has bling on her teeth it's over I just don't like it lol

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  • 1. if girl have the job or income source then she has pay to as much as she can at least from the second date.
    2. if she show her attitude then it will be a big turn off.
    3. she have to simple and without using heavy make up and keep smile because it shows her positive thinking.
    Finally thanks forthiss

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    • Hi! We really liked your response, especially the first point about girls paying for dates too. Would you mind making a video so we could use the clip in our show? Thanks :)

    • Sorry, Icant😊😊

    • Ah cmon bro! Be a good sport! :-D

  • 1) Stop being cowards. No, we aren't hanging out--it's a fucking date. And don't show up late to a date. Punctuality = integrity, and if you are late, guess what you've revealed about yourself.
    Oh, and don't go out into public wearing pajamas--honestly, should I *really* have be saying that? Be presentable.

    2) If she's unkind or rude to anyone. AND especially if she tries little power games and twists and turns to establish "status." I don't care if you're a perfect 10 and have millions of dollars, if you start playing power games with me, you're human trash and I want nothing to do with you (playing hard to get falls under this umbrella).

    3) Humility and kindness. (I'm not asking a girl to defer to me or anything like that--if that's your concept of humility, you misunderstand it. Find a nobler and more empowered definition for yourself). So many people play the artificial "look at how bitchy I am, see how important I must be to get away with it" but it only makes you look like filth. Don't be boring, but actually being pleasant to speak to is important.

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