Does reverse psychology work?

My boyfriend of 4 years wants to leave me. Even though I know he loves me and is pressured from his family yo get married. He is always fighting with me everytiime his family talks about marriage issue. At same time he loves me and doesn't want to let go. But he is always rude to me and doesn't care what he says to me. Comes back and apologizes. This happens literally every other day. Reason I'm not a choice to his family Becsyse I was previously married. He sits there asks me when will I have my own kids? When will I get married? He wants me to respond to him. Every single time it hurts more than time before. I don't know what to do or how to let go.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When someone is fooling around with the break-up threats it's because it's learned behaviour and they do not properly know how to handle stress. They use it to get your attention, and look at you - it works every time, every day. He tells you it's over and you jump to attention. Do you want to go through this for the rest of your life, or do you want to communicate to him that this sort of threat is not called for, nor is it solving anything.

    In order to do this "reverse psychology" you have to prepare yourself for the worst, which is that your words will trigger him to actually end it. If you are fine with that, then maybe it should end. But if you are using this tactic as a game to show him how it feels, it does not sound like a mature relationship to be in. He definitely needs to understand that this isn't how married couples are to communicate and solve problems, and you should get it out of your head right now that tit-for-tat will only teach him that this is exactly how you both are going to get through tough times.

    You deserve much more than someone being snappy with you every day. He is getting away with this behaviour and that is why every day you are dealing with it. Be the woman he loves, and show him that you want to move in to the next level of your relationship doing things differently - without his family's influence. Because right now, *you both* are your own family and need to be the core of everything to each other whether you get married and have kids or not.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Leave. Just leave. You've been married before so you should know the signs and this is a bloody big red flag. Get out

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  • It does work.

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  • Yes it works not always, but it does

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What Girls Said 4

  • Sometimes. But I don't think it would work in this instance. I think your boyfriend needs to grow some balls/gain some courage. He could stand up to his family and tell them that he doesn't want to get married yet. Or he could leave you and let you find a man that will give you what you want.

    You don't deserve to be demeaned by ANYONE. I wouldn't allow him to be rude and say hurtful things about me.

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  • Yes, it does.

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  • It can do, but depends on the person and situation.

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  • Yes, on some people.

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