What am I doing wrong when it comes to dating men?

i am 24 and do not consider myself an unattractive female. However, I seem to have really bad luck with men. I was married for two years and now getting back into the dating game. All the men I meet seem to have the same motives. They just want to use me or just don't really care or show any effort. For example the most recent guy I met at a bar/club we danced and hit it off, he asked for my number and texted me the next day. Sadly the conversation was super dry. And I can never tell if that's how they are or if I should just drop it. My fear is I don't want to come off as desperate. For example, I say wyd he says chilling I'm like we should hang out sometime he said yea sure I comment on the way he said it he tells me he has a nonchalant personality I said good to know no response 6 hours later I said tell me about yourself he reads it and doesn't respond. I'm just confused why ask for my # why contact me if you weren't going to respond. He added me on snapchat and I can tell he was out and about so it may have just been the wrong time to ask the question. But i don't know if maybe I'm just really bad at this dating thing or maybe I'm over thinking. I don't intend to text him again and he hasn't responded. I don't know I just want to hear opinions from others.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people suck, love isn't supposed to be easy to find ya know. Humans are the worst, THE WORST.

    That being said, mistake number one was getting married so young. Fuck that shit. Mistake number two was meeting someone are a bar/club. Of course they all had the same intentions. And so should you. Club=Night for sex, don't you dare expect anything else. When giving your number out the only question on your mind should be "do I want to have sex with this person?" And the answer should sometimes be "yes." If something happens to come out of it, congratulations on hitting the lottery.

    Don't date media whores (snap chat, blah blah)

    Expand your horizons. A guy asked you for your number, but when was the last time you asked a guy for his? HMM? Stop hoping to "be a catch," and turn into the fucking rod.

    Date in threes. It keeps you level headed and invulnerable to many atrocities of serial monogamy.

    Find guys that don't fit your "type." I have never been with my type and I am very happy. Try dating a nerd, someone who doesn't drink, a vegan, 5 years older/younger than you.

    Have a one night stand every once in a while. But don't let the guy pick you, you need to pick the guy. Give him a fake name, don't leave him a number, don't stay for cuddles.

    And most importantly, take responsibility for your "bad luck." There is no such thing as luck. It is you who is letting these people in. Is it your fear of rejection? Your fear of sounding to desperate (for the record, you did not sound desperate at all -on a side note, just erase desperate from your dating vocabulary, I have literally never heard a guy call a girl desperate)? Regardless of where it is coming from, it is something that you are doing, find the trends and study them, their significance, their implications.

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    • Yea it was definitely a mistake to get married at such an early age.
      Sadly you're right about giving #s out at the club with that I guess I'm always just a little hopeful.
      I am the type of person to definitely ask for another guys number... However, I do not meet a lot of different guys and maybe that's why I am so susceptible to giving my # and the club and then expecting so much.. I have been trying to date people that aren't my type.. Def easier said than done lol... I think I even start to compromise because I never meet guys and then I just get bored / lonely.. Oh the struggle

What Guys Said 6

  • Your attractivenesss has nothing to do with your luck.
    But is has everything to do with the kind of men that you attract.
    You are not alone with this problem, trust me.

    Like a wolf pack prowls on a wounded animal, the douchebags prowl on attractive women.
    If you're really attractive, most average guys will assume they don't have a shot anyway, and lay off before they even start.
    Probably because of countless rejections.
    This is the main reason women constantly complain how 'there's no good men left'.

    If you want different results, you need a different approach.
    You can either play a more active role, and be the first mover, selecting the guys you're interested in, or you can continue going through the wolves until an occasional 'good guy' grows a pair of balls.

    You you can change the scenery. Instead of scouting for guys at the usual bars and clubs etc , go for meeting guys other places, at other times.
    Late night bars and clubs are prime hunting grounds for the wolves, outnumbering real men 5 to 1.

    If you do what you always do, you will get what you've always gotten.

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  • I would keep trying. This guy is just one obstacle and there might be more, but just keep trying and u'll find that perfect guy.

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  • im 24 been single for a year just got back out to try and find a girl a couple of weeks ago and I hate most of the females there stupid so I understand

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  • Well you did meet him at a bar! Honestly it seems like he isn't into you. He just prolly asked for your number at the time because he felt that's was the right thing to do.

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    • See I thought nothing of it then. He asked for my number but did not give me his so I honestly thought he wouldn't contact me but he text me the next day

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    • You're really into him huh?

    • I don't know him well enough to be into him lol but I did really want to get to know him

  • I dont think its so much you, but where you're finding the guys. I've heard meeting guys in a bar isn't a smart choice so the advice i can give would be just try finding guys in other places?

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    • I mean I'm never actually looking because I always meet crazy guys but I am open when someone does approach me. And I honestly am not sure where exactly I should look lol

  • I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You're just meeting the wrong guys. They should be lining up dates with you, not adding you on Snapchat. Those particular guys probably have a 30-second attention span, then they're off to the next girl.

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    • That's what I thought.. I didn't say what he wanted to hear

    • That's one possibility. Some of my friends get women's phone numbers, but they're so hammered at the time that they can't even remember meeting them or what they look like. Pretty sad. :-(

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