I'll be turning 23 in a little over two months (nobody likes you when you're 23, right 😜). I'm also yet to have my first boyfriend. It upsets me at times, especially when I'm by myself. Several of my friends are the same age and already married and pregnant, and it kinda makes me feel as though I haven't achieved much in life. I know that makes me sound jealous, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Sometimes I do feel a little bit miserable and down about it, like there's not much I can do about it. I don't go out to pubs and things a lot, which I know may not help, but it's not really my thing to go out loads. I've heard people tell me before that they know people who haven't had a partner until closer to 30, but that does nothing to make me feel any better. If anything, it makes me feel worse, like it's never going to happen for me. I have been on a couple of dates before, but that was in my first year of uni (I'm now in my last year) two and a half years ago. I also haven't kissed anyone for nearly two years as well. I don't like to share my feelings with people a lot for fear I'll be judged for the way I am. I'm usually the one people come to with problems, not the other way around. Being nearly 23 and never had a boyfriend makes me think of what's wrong with me to make no one want me. I think I'm fat and ugly, even though I'm probably not (I'm around an Aussie size 12, not sure what that is in international sizes). If people compliment me and tell me I look pretty, it kinda feels as though they're lying to me. I really hate it when people say they know how I feel, cause unless you've been in my position, you'll never truly understand how I'm feeling. I'm really hurting about it, and am getting very down about it at times. Does anyone have any thoughts on what I can do?
Most Helpful Guy
Let go of the childlike notion, that finding love is finding someone to be responsible for your happiness. You must take responsibility for your own happiness.
You can choose to be happy with or without your boyfriend. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, just cause they are all married and playing happy families, doesn't mean they are any happier than you.
Have I missed out on anything, being single? Of course I have. Like anything, it's a tradeoff. No one has ever made a devoted commitment to me or considered me their special soulmate. I have no idea what it feels like to see someone and long to know every bit of their body, deeply and passionately. Sometimes I get sick of always going to things like weddings and funerals by myself.
Oh, and I'm probably going to die alone. There is that.
But you know what? The fact is we're all going to die alone. You don't get to take anyone else with you on that final journey. In the meantime, I figure we might as well each live the life that makes us happiest.0