Would you ever date someone against your parents wishes?

If you really wanted to date someone, but your parents objected to it, would you still date them or no?

  • I would stop dating that person
    13% (27)5% (6)10% (33)Vote
  • I would still date that person
    58% (125)66% (73)61% (198)Vote
  • It really depends.. . and please expalin why
    29% (62)29% (32)29% (94)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
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and please if you can say how your relationship is with your parents. good? bad?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have very strong feelings for someone who my family does not really approve of me wanting to be with. He has very strong feelings for me, but due to some reasons that I don't really care to explain at the moment we cannot be together. If it weren't for those reasons, I would be dating him even if my parents didn't want me to. They think I could do better and truthfully, I probably could, but I don't want anyone else but him. I don't really care what my parents/my family say. It's not that they dislike him, but they don't think he's the right guy for me. It's a long story, haha.

    Of course, my family, especially my mother, is very good at detecting things/certain traits on people I date. My last boyfriend was a terrible one and although my family did not tell me that they disapproved of him, I found out later after I broke up with him that my mother was not too pleased with him. I've begun to realize that my mother is usually right about her assumptions of people, especially guys that I date and I am a lot more open-minded to listening to what she has to say when it comes to guys that I date.

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What Girls Said 113

  • The closest I ever came to this was in high school, my mom completely misjudged my boyfriend and really seemed to think he was a bad influence... I don't think she ever told me I couldn't see him or anything like that, but it was clear she didn't like him at all. It was a bit frustrating at times but I didn't let that affect our relationship, it took me forever to express my feelings to him and I wasn't about to let things end just because my mom was unhappy about it.

    I'd like to say that I wouldn't care what my parents thought, but that's the teenager in me talking. I think if the drama and their feelings were strong enough I would probably side with my family... they almost always know best.

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  • I would date someone against my parents' wishes. If my mom had a concern about someone I was dating, I would listen and take it into consideration, but I don't think I need my mother's permission to date someone.

    My mom is a pretty accepting and reasonable person, so if she expressed a concern, it would probably be that she was worried he was abusive or something like that, I can't really see her telling me not to date someone based on something stupid like race, religion, etc.

    I have a decent relationship with my mom and no relationship with my dad.

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  • The more my mother doesn't like someone..

    The more likely I am to stay with them lol

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    • Why do you hate your mom?

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    • Been there, lived that.

    • That's the case for everyone. People love pissing their parents off lol and doing opposite which is why there's people who even date interracial to piss off parents

  • Yes, I would if I trust that person is good and really cares about me.
    My relationship with my parents are awesome. My parents still treat like a child though. Lol. But they are very cool. Don't mind if I date someone outside race and all. So, I doubt they'll have a problem with someone. Lol

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  • It would depend on why they don't want us dating. There could be possible red flags that I am not seeing but as parents are seeing. But hypothetically it could be because of race (which wouldn't be a problem in my case but whatever) or they think we are getting attached to quick or something petty then I would date anyway. The thing is if they don't give me a good reason I'm not going to listen. I have a pretty great relationship with my dad and a mediocre relationship with my mom.

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  • I come from a traditional, cultured family (Asian) in my parents eyes, I was suppose to find a rich Asian guy, get married young, have Asian children and stay that way. Little did they know, it's not what I wanted. My two older sisters have both gotten married to an American and Australian guy. I plan on doing that to.

    If my parents objected to it, I honestly think they would be pretty bad parents. They are there to support me and give me advice. I don't want them to be running my life. I've been in interracial relationships before. My parents know I'm not going to be marrying an Asian guy. And they accept that. All that matters to them is that I'm happy and taken care of. I have an amazing relationship with both of my parents, and I feel as if they were standing beside me in my decisions, I wouldn't have that bond with them in the first place.

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  • It depends on why they don't want me to date him. If I've known him for forever and they don't want me to date him because they think he's "not good enough" or "suspicious", then I'll most likely ignore them and keep dating him since my experience holds more weight than their prejudiced assumptions. However, if they know something about him that I don't know for whatever reason (criminal history, for instance) then I'll listen to them and stop dating him.
    I'll always take my parents' opinions into consideration as long as they're reasonable.

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  • I voted A, because I trust their judgment enough to know that if they object to a relationship of mine, then something must seriously be wrong. My parents are very accepting, tolerant, and have told me time and time again that my happiness is what's most important to them, so if they didn't approve of a relationship of mine, then I know for sure that something is really wrong and in that case I should probably know better than to subject myself to that. The only way they'd disapprove of a relationship is if it they could tell that I wasn't happy, if I was being abused, and things along those lines. They'd never tell me not to date someone because of race, religion, or anything like that. They're loving people and will grow to love whoever I fall in love with, unless there's a really good reason not to.

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  • I trust my parent's judgement. If they thought he was a loser, odds are I would probably have seen that and wouldn't be dating him in the first place...

    Good at reading people > so no problem with that.

    On the other hand, if it's about race or creed - then I'd stick with them no matter what. I know my parents will accept him in the end if their objections are solely based on those things - that don't define his character. =)

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  • It depends on what their objection to the relationship is.

    My relationship with them is good so I trust their opinions.

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    • if one or both said or thought he was a loser? would you reconsider dating him?

    • I feel the same way!

    • Lmao my parents have far more substantial reasons. But no, I'd ignore them if they couldn't defend his "loserness." If they said he was an unsuccessful lowlife going nowhere in life then I'd listen and not date him. If all they said was that he were a loser then well, I'd give him a go.

  • It depends on why they didn't want me to date him.

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  • Yes, I would
    Although it's unlikely that my parents will disapprove of my choice

    My relationship with my parents is well, I'm very close to my family

    Would I date a guy with no job: yes but with the exception of him at least being in college
    4 year or community with plans to transfer

    If he's jobless at my age, not studying and/or just partying - exploring life. I'd be reluctant

    heck even if he was just working and not studying I'd still be reluctant, a part time labor job can't support a future if things got serious. Plus those people usually get stuck in the dead end job lifestyle
    So it's a risk...

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  • I get along with my parents very well. The person Im dating I met online and we really don't know much about each other but we are moving in together to get to know each other better. My dad is OK with it and my mom hates the situation. But it's my life and I want happiness even if it's a risky step. So she likes it or not Im moving.

    If he was like an abuser or something like that of course I would listen to my parents though. Or if he was a loser then I would listen. But how stupid would I be if I was with someone that was not a good person to be around of.

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    • "if he was a loser"
      hmmm what would you mean by loser? like if he didn't work basically?

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    • Yes she is as well.

  • If I really cared about this person, and I feel like whatever he did or whatever I told my parents that made them dislike him, is willing to change, and make good with my parents, then I would try. At the end of the day, if you like that person, no one can dictate if you are going to date them or not. Even your parents. True it would be hard to have a relationship with someone if your parents or family wasn't on board with it... but people can grow and change if they choose to!

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

    • Very much so. I have a wonderful relationship with them. But if I wanted to date a guy that my parents didn't like, they couldn't forbid me... but they would want him to make good on everything. And I would expect him to make peace with my parents... if we were to continue dating.

  • My relationship with my parents are Ok, but they haven't shown a lot of responsibility and I had to learn everything by myself and the hard way.
    I would obviously not listen unless they have proof he is a criminal or else, if he disrespected my family that is good enough to dump him.

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  • I respect my parents wishes immensely, so I would definitely take what they say into account. However that being said, it would really depend for me. If they objected to someone I liked for a reason that didn't seem 'legitimate' to me, I would have a conversation with them and further explain why I want to be with him. For example, if they had an issue with his job or career, socioeconomic status, family background, race, or culture-- I wouldn't put as much weight in their argument and continue to stick up for the guy without being disrespectful to my parents. However, if they were worried about the person I was becoming by seeing him or he was disrespectful to them or they didn't like the way he treated me, I would be more understanding and potentially leave the guy. I may want to be with this guy, but if my parents dislike him tremendously, I see no value in keeping him there against the wishes of people who have raised and sacrificed so much for me.

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    • do you think if the reason they disproved of it, because he wasn't working or independent yet, do you think you'd reconsider dating him? or would you even date a guy like that in the first place, considering he has a good personality and looks good?

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    • ok but would you even date a guy with no job at all?

    • Yes-- but only if I liked him and he was studying to eventually get a job (ex a guy taking graduate, MBA, law, or medical school classes). Now if he was just unmotivated, didn't have a job, and wasn't doing anything to eventually get one-- I highly doubt I'd be dating him simply because our personalities wouldn't be very compatible.

  • It depends, my family is very conservative, but I have a very strong relationship with my parents and I know they want the best for me. They always support my decisions no matter what :)

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  • Depends. I trust my parents and I always consider their opinions when I need to make a decision, so if they have a problem with the guy I am dating, it has to be a valid one, you know, like they found out the guy is a swindler or a cheater or he is playing with me etc. These are serious issues and if they prove to be right, of course I will leave the guy. But if they start giving me with judgments like he's black, he's from another religion, he's shorter, he's into I don't know what thing they don't like etc. then I so don't care about their opinion.

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  • It depends. If my parents objected because of race, I'd say screw them and continue dating that person. If my parents objected because of age difference, however, I may still continue dating that person, but it probably wouldn't last long. I almost dated a guy who was 14 years older than me, but we never made it serious because I knew my parents wouldn't approve. It wouldn't have lasted anyway (not just because of the age gap), so I guess it was for the best, but still... It would have been interesting to see what could have happened. I just value my family's opinions very highly.

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  • 9 chances out of 10 I would still date them. Because my family's objection to whom I date would be because they aren't the same religion as my family. If they had another reason that was valid that they could support with evidence then I would listen.

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  • I would possibly still date them but I wouldn't want backlash from my family. My family does not stop talking about things. My parents still complain about my sister's ex 20 years later.

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  • My needs in a partner are not contingent upon the views of my parents. I wouldn't date someone to make them uncomfortable on purpose, however. I hate to say this but they aren't the best judges of character. Anytime there is too much ego invested in the life choices of your children, you aren't being fair towards them.

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  • I wouldn't care because they're not the one who will date them it'll be me. Plus I'll have to live with my decision afterwards

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  • honestly, i would still date them if i know that i love them from the heart.. i would follow what my heart says to me... you should do the same too... you're heart is never wrong.
    xxx

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  • it's about my feelings towards that person and not about what my parents think. If would arrange a marriage for you would you then just straightaway get married to that person? we're not our parent's puppets dancing as they pull the strings even if that's how they would like it to be.
    If you're parents however have serious concerns maybe give them a chance to get to know that someone better so that might help them to change their mind.

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  • Been there
    ..

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  • My parents and I have a really good relationship. They care about my my life and I know for a fact they would do anything for me if it was in their power. So I take their opinions very seriously. That being said my mother never really liked me dating people of others cultures (I blame one two many lifetime movies {race isn't an issue, but sometimes different cultures tend to treat women different then what we are used to}). But I know this is just her being a mother hen and worrying about me. That being said if she ever had objections to a guy I was interested in, she would give me serious reasons why. I trust and respect her more then anything so I would carefully consider her disputes, and judge for myself the risks (if any) and if it is something I'm OK with. Perhaps even talking with the person I'm dating about it. Open discussion is always beneficial in the long run.
    Lol, though more often then not it's my mom shoving guys at me she thinks I'd like. Usually anyone Asian. O. o. But you gotta love her.
    If you have a good relationship with your parents talk with them about why they don't like the person your interested in. If they are good reasons (even if you don't agree), then reason on them for a while. Try to see it from their viewpoint. An how it may affect your relationship in the future.
    Now if their reasons are shallow and false or just excuses. And you have still reasoned it out and can live and be happy with this person, then you are your own adult and must live with the consequences. Be them good or bad. I hope it works out for you!

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  • It depends. My dad doesn't really like most guys I hang out with so then I don't care, but if it's a big objection, I would listen to them, because my parents have a good sight on people and might notice something I don't notice.

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  • never ever. no one knows me better.

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  • Although my parents input on who they would like me to date is appreciated I'm an adult and I can choose who I'll date, but my parents have supported me all the time even when I had a girlfriend they supported me ;)

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What Guys Said 59

  • If their against you dating that person there's a reason that they are that you should take into consideration

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  • B, I often disagree with and rebel against my parents anyway, and dating is not an area of life in which I'll let them have any influence. I welcome them to point me out of any red flags or such that they see, and I'll consider them, but I am by no means going to let them have any control over my love life.

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  • I never care what my parents say about who I am with. They've never known about any of my girlfriends though, but I doubt they would have been against any of them.
    If in the future they're against one, I wouldn't stop dating her, it's my decision, my life, my future, my happiness, if they don't wanna see me happy, there's no need for us to keep talking.

    But, I doubt my parents will ever say something against someone I date, maybe they don't like her, but they won't tell me to stop being with her. My relationship with them is good, we're not close, but we do get along well, besides the fact that I used to fight with my mother every day, but now that we live in different countries, it's gotten better.

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  • My dad wants me to only date chinese girls... fuck that! I date any race of girl I want!

    You're dating the person not your parents!

    #SkittlesTasteTheRainbow

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    • So... How did that work out when your dad found out that you were dating girls who are not Chinese?

    • @watashiwahanadesu he didn't care for them very much, but I try to avoid my dad's ignorant traditional ways soo it's okay.

  • My family doesn't like it that I find black women attractive. But I don't rush to conclusions like they do that black=loser. If said gal reinforces the stereotype with her behavior though, and makes me regret sticking up for her, that's a dealbreaker.

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  • Actually, id avoid dating someone that needed so much approval of their parents of who they'd date. My relationship with my mom is good, dad not so much. Relationships are tough already without having someones parents butting in.

    You're an adult, you should be allowed to have you're own mistakes, you're own successes. Live your own life. Your parents don't always know what's best for you.

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  • If they had reasonable concerns, my parents would not be shy about telling me about them. However, they know that it's my decision whom I date. They know that I take good care of myself and that if I'm going after someone that I've thought it through.

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  • It would depend on whether my mother's reason was logical and truly reflected a judgment about my best interest or whether she disapproved because it simply did not fit in with her agenda for how I should live my life.

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  • I would still date that person, unless my parents have proof that they're a drug dealer or something. But if they simply don't like them, then yes, I would still date them.

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  • I have never dated anyone, but my parents are not the type to object to anything. Of course if I brought a drug addicted white home that would be a definite thing they would get mad at. But my parents aren't dumb, they know the world is full of different people, different religion, different races, in other wordsy parents would be happy that I found a girl to love, or rather a woman lol

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  • My parents and I are solid but I still would date someone even if they said otherwise. I'd feel like they were being controlling unless they had a VERY good reason why I should break it off partly because my parents are already over protective and I'm pretty independent so I already feel smothered. I would keep their words in mind though even when disagreeing and staying in the relationship.

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  • I never brought home my exes. I knew they'd get flak.
    When I brought home my wife, she got more than flak: outright insults.
    My bro's GFs always were OK.

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  • There's a good chance that I would date her. However I would take my parent's thoughts into consideration.

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  • My parents aren't going to have lame reasons for not wanting me to date someone.
    That being said, I value their opinions and they have vastly more life experience than me, but it's my life, and if they can't come up with a really good argument I'm going to date who I want.
    They do have a little more sway over my decisions considering they're going to pay for my housing.. 8/

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  • My parents have very little influence in my dating life. The only way I'd listen to what they're saying is if they see her as a negative influence on me.

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

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    • hmmm you do have a job, not living together, and she's not looking for a job yet.

    • I'd be fine with it at that stage in my life, but as I get older things would change.
      I'm not trying to support someone life and lifestyle when we're not even married or have kids together etc..

  • Who I date has nothing to do with my parents.

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

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    • have they ever given you negative opinions about any girls you dated before? and if so how did you handle that?

    • No they have not. They know I would tell them where to go.

  • My parents don't control who I am with. At the end of the day, it's my life I'm living. Now if the persons is 19 and I was 14, then probably a really good idea to stay away till you're at least a freshman. But parents should back off past 18 yr old cause at that point you're actually living your own life. They can't rule who you're with forever. So for freshmans and younger, should probably at least "think" about their reasoning, past junior yr or 18, they should back off.

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  • yes. Unless I was muslim...

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  • That's a tough question. I love my parents but I also love my girlfriend.

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  • I wouldn't need my parents permission to date anyone.

    But I would most certainly ask them for their perspective on her, their intuition and gut feeling about her. They have much more life experience than, and even then with the way I was raised and the values they've given me, I would only introduce her to them if and only if I knew my parents would like her.

    Some say that's my parents keeping an imaginary hold on me. All I know is that's called keeping drama to a minimum

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  • Probably not, my parents know me pretty well, and I value their opinions, luckily so far that problem has not come up yet lol.

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  • Well I'm 32, so yeah. LOL

    I mean, I'd take my mom's advice to heart and examine whether or not her concerns (if she ever were to have any) were valid. I wouldn't base my decision solely on her wishes, though.

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  • Maybe my parents would see something that I'm not seeing in that person because I'm letting my feelings get in the way. Thinking with the heart instead of the head is what I'm referring to. Love can make someone do anything and those around them can determine if whether that person is good them or not. But if someone objected to you dating the other person because of their skin color or something stupid like that, then no. I'd date whoever I was attracted to

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  • I would note what their objection is. My relationship with them is good and I value their opinions.

    However, I'm an adult and make my own decisions.

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  • I would not do it

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  • I'll at least hear their concerns, because I value their judgment. Ultimately, I'll make the best decision I can by myself, though.

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  • I think once you hit a certain age, you have the right to pick who you want to date.

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  • My relationship with my parents is good but who I date is up to me, I actually did this before.

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  • I voted B. Who I choose to be date is my choice!

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  • It all depends how much you value your parents' upbringing and their happiness in you doing what your parents want.

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