Do guys even like kids?

I normally hear guys say it's off limits to date someone with kids. And teenage girls getting pregnant & guys leaving them, & (older)guys sometimes leaving their girlfriend, wife even if they get pregnant. What is up with that? Don't guys like babies/kids?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it has something to do with how a lot of boys are socialized when we are younger. If you look at history, for the majority of societies they were patriarchal - male dominated - from hunter/gatherer societies to right up to the 1960s - 1980s. It wasn't until then when you had women starting to fight for equal treatment in the workforce - and start to receive equal treatment. Form the 1900s til now, things have gone from a "breadwinner-homemaker" to "individualized" society with expectation and role assumption. Now, from the way we are raised and through our family and peer groups influence, we develop role assumptions, roles that we take on voluntarily and non-voluntarily. For example, in the 1940s, when my grandmother had gotten pregnant at 19 their parents expected her and my grandfather to get married, move out and get their place and start their own family. My brother, in 2002, got his girlfriend pregnant at the time and the expectation that my father had was for them to move in with him for a year or so and save some money before they would be able to get a house and get married. Now, when my grandmother had gotten pregnant back in the 1940, that was expected to start a family after high school. My grandfather was expected to work and my grandmother expected to take care of the household. Now, when my brothers girlfriend had gotten pregnant, there were different expectations and roles to be assumed. It's common for today to be have parents where both work, and one or both may be continuing education, and have other priorities and be parents too. Today, it's common for people to experience "role overload" where they have a lot of things going on and then someone gets pregnant. And then you have people who can handle assuming multiple "roles" such as parent, student, and employee, and you have people who have to focus on certain roles because of an overload and stress. And to top it off, there's the aspect of socialization and how we learn from our parents, which if you had a dad like mine, you would often hear "I don't want to hear that you got a girl pregnant until you're in your twenties. . . " and this is just because he had kids at a kind of young age and he doesn't want to see me go through a similar struggle. But as you can see there are a lot of different factors that go into the answer of this question, and there's a lot more then I mentioned, this is just like a guideline to show how some guys might be influenced that the last thing they want to encounter is something like getting their girlfriend pregnant because they have so many other goals before they get to that point in life. It's not blatantly like "guys don't like kids" it's just sometimes it takes a certain situation for us to be more aware of being more "kid-orientated" like when I became an uncle for the first time. It changed a lot of my perceptions about having children.

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  • When guys are young they don't want kids but when they get older they want kids

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