After all this "nice guy can't get girls" crap, dont you feel like its an insult to be called a nice guy?

A girl said that im a "genuinely nice guy". I was actually offended. I didn't say anything but I thought "well, friendshipzoned again" It hurt when she told me that. Does any person get this? To me its like telling a girl she is fun but not dating material (but she is obese and thats the real reason).

Updates:
..."genuinely nice guy". I decided this morning im going to join the Japanese in their dolphin hunts. Kill me some dolphins. That should make me an asshole ha ha. (P. s. I won't... love animals)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the whole "nice guys can't get girls" is insulting to all men who have had, or currently have, relationships.

    I mean, do people seriously think that every single guy who is in a relationship is an asshole?

    Not to mention that it's insulting to women. No, women aren't all the same, and contrary to "popular belief", I do like nice guys. I don't date assholes. I don't want or accept being treated poorly.

    But getting insulted because someone told you you're a genuinely nice guy? Fuck off.

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    • Ahhhhh... I don't know. Most guys in relationships are not assholes but they are AFC's (Average frustrated chumps). They "get lucky". I am not content with that. Many of my married friends are happy with their wives but still complain about how difficult women are. Like I see why everyone cheats on everyone. I don't know... but I know "nice guy" hasn't worked for me. Im happy to be nice where nice is warranted. But in attraction... a "nice guy" has failed.

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    • No. The guy who gives himself to you will lose to the guy who gives the impression that you have to chase him. I will use the same analogy, but outside the bedroom: Assertive guy: "Lets go watch the New Avengers movie". Me: "I will watch your romcom if you watch avengers with me" its so lame.

    • I mean, I'm just talking about my personal experience with the guys that I've had relationships with or hooked up with.

      I'd like the guy who says, "Hey, do you want to see the new Avengers movie?" (Since, well, I like the Avengers and I don't like romcoms :P). Or even the guy who says, "What movie would you like to see?" or "I want to see the new Avengers movie, do you want to come with me?"

What Girls Said 5

  • There's nothing wrong with being considered nice. There's only something wrong with people thinking being nice is so rare and special that it entitles them to anything they want.

    Which is exactly how a narcissistic not nice person thinks. So if you're offended that someone called you nice, you really just need to get over yourself. Someone can think good things about you without wanting your dick.

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    • Look nice is good... but not in the context of relationships or attraction (and my dick lol) My family can say im nice, my guy friends can say im nice, even my chick friends can say im nice; but a girl I go for says im nice, I just feel friendshipzoned, like I have done something wrong in the game. TBH all of the people I mentioned say Im nice... now that freaks me out...

    • If she's not interested just move on. It has nothing to do with a "game" you're 32 not 12.

    • @CommieDearest that's it girl! you nailed it. Im 32 on gag? there is a problem. That's why women shouldn't underestimate young guys and their girl problems. It seriously effects men. Its a minority... im a part of the minority. The rest are average and the other minority are brilliant with women. Im not hung up on this one, but I thought I would do enough to be exiting/dangerous/thrilling etc... not nice lol... shit. Even my douche tactics are nice ha ha

  • After all this "nice guy can't get girls" crap, dont you feel like its an insult to be called a nice guy?
    I can see how it's an insult if a guy is only nice as a tactic to get gals since being 'nice guy can't get girls' means his tactic is a 'failure'.

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    • Hey...2 things to this: A) as a tactic in itself, hell fuckin no, "nice" will never work, hence its better to be a douche to women (non negotiable and don't even go down that route with me) . B) Me personally, I tried being confident, assertive, even flakey with my communication. Still got called nice... I just don't get it. Like really!

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    • no no... I didn't twist your words. I said you perceive it as a failure but that... im guilty of that failure...
      Its clear.
      Im not needy or anything. I just did my thing, she said I was genuinely nice, and it offends me. I have a negative connotation with "being nice" bottom line.

    • You did twist my words as I explicitly stated I perceive it as 'your failure' meaning you are the key to the failure. You twisted it to be 'a failure' so it fits your perception that nice is a failure.

      You seem to gleam over that entire paragraph how long and well did the gals wjo rejected you knew you enough to state you were genuinely nice. As again:
      "I know many gals who tell a guy they barely know 'you're a really nice guy but' because they feel like b*tches if they don't say something pleasant about him and the threshold for being nice as a guy is pretty low. If he didn't yell at her/hit her/harass her she can use the 'you're nice but' letdown even if she doesn't know him enough to say he's nice."

  • There a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. If she called you a Nice Guy then tough beanies. But it sounds like she was calling you a nice guy which is good.

    Sometimes things just aren't meant to work out and that's okay. Just take a lesson from the situation and use it to do better next time.

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    • Thanks Bellepepper... but you know what you saying right? my lesson is not to be that nice next time. I have no clue how to.. not be nice lol.

    • Your lesson is to understand that you and another person with personality traits x, y, and z aren't a good match :/

      You don't necessarily change you. You need to adjust what you're looking for.

  • You seem insecure when you're offended by a genuine compliment.

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    • Im a) very insecure due to a life time of being rejected due to "nice guy syndrome" and b) the fact that "nice guys" get laid far less than the rest of the male population. Being called a nice guy is almost like being called fat for a girl in terms of dating. Sloths are cool by the way!!

    • So you downvoted me despite agreeing with me? :O

      Well, if you are a solid representation of 'nice guys' and you get offended from compliments and don't possess a poker face.. I can see why 'nice guys' get laid far less than the rest of the male population.

    • Hey, I didn't down vote you. Some other dude did. I answered you. Lol... but now im thinking I should have down voted you because that would have made me a less of a nice guy ha ha... fml.. lol... its crazy.

  • Well reply by saying "fat girls, can't get guys"

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    • Fat girls can get guys, nice guys can't get any girls. But I don't want to reply, its not her, its me!! I failed again ha ha

What Guys Said 11

  • Everyone says he is a nice guy tho I have to say truly "nice" guys aren't as common as people like to make it out to be.

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    • Agree... but I am like that dude where I get it far to much than I would like. Everyone says im nice... like I feel I should be a monk or something. I am trying to change though...

    • It comes a time in a guy's life when he must choose whether to do the right thing or the "right thing" . Well you have more grit in your shorts than I do have in my boots so you don't need me to tell you that.

    • Thanks bro... appreciate it. I believe every man is born with grit. You just got to step out there. As nice as I am... I find throwing myself into the frying pan whether I know the outcome or not, really helps.

  • I think you have a convoluted notion of the relationship between being GENUINELY nice and being romantically successful is.

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    • Bro... convoluted... have you seen my profile name? Dude im done... im a nice guy. Scrambled is a nice guy. You know what that means right? Some fucking prude or church goer will go for me... depressing as hell.

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    • Look I agree with you. But what gets me is just that "keep plugging away at the girl" Like I don't want to be that worthless tat I have to keep "plugging" at something. I want the fun and non-plugging.

    • Well, who doesn't want that? LOL

      The truth is, EVERYONE puts work in. I'm not gonna try and BS you by saying that we all have to put in the same AMOUNT of work to get what we want, but hey, that's just how the world works.

      Maybe you're going after the wrong kinds of girls? Or maybe you're making your moves too late (or conversely, too soon/strongly)?

  • I don't feel insulted. But sometimes when I get called things like sweet or cute, I feel like a puppy which does worry me.

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  • No..
    I'm the nicest guy in the world...
    That's what every girl tells me after she leaves my bed...
    :)
    It's so good to be nice guy..

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    • I guy with a smiley face as a profile? I don't know dude... I think you yanking my balls.

    • You have a hard time hearing that nice guy thing right?
      Everyone is calling you that..
      I feel sorry for you.
      :(

    • You have no idea;) I think I would win a big brother or some shit.

  • I understand why you think that, but no I would have taken that as a compliment.

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  • I feel the same way luckily I was born to look like an asshole so it's very rare to be called nice guy even though I'm kind on the inside from what an Asian girl I was getting at told me

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    • Lol... dude... women love assholes, im sure your look will attract then. And you kind on the inside. I reckon you on a good wicket.

  • Some people think that nice guy should be weak, don't have social skills, and silly and that's not true and to be nice isn't something to be offended of since when this became offense

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  • The question is.. are you a real nice guy? Or are you just pretending to be?

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    • Im nicer than rain in the dessert;) Im a good guy man... its my weakness.

  • i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-add-text_15.gif Nope, not at all since I'm a GOOD guy not a NICE guy lol

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    • Misty ninja?

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    • HAHA Mistninja314 might be here, but you'd never know (¬‿¬)

    • "saw the name. Mr anime himself" HAHAH LOL <3

  • whether it is an insult or not, whether it's good to be a nice guy or not, what can we do? we're nice guys and just have to accept that..

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    • I can't lol... nice guys finish last, and im not content with that.

    • me neither. but what can you do about it?

  • Actually for me, it is an insult... Really a insult... my friends, parents and neighbours do call me as nice guy good boy, u r soo genuine... But i hate that word... doing some good stuff never change a bad guy to nice one...

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    • Yes man!! im not the only one. Don't you wish you did at least one thing that would cause some type of drama lol.

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    • None of us are 100% good... I just somehow know how to hide it or not let the world know about it.

    • Everyone knows that dude... then why the hell they are saying us as good guy... no one is 100% perfect...

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