How do I make him understand that I'm just not into him?

There's this guy I know - he's less than a friend, more than an acquiantence. He isn't my type in any shape or form, but he constantly tries to hit on me by being super mushy and "romantic." He's a very awkward guy, not much experience, and he just isn't what I'm into. I recently asserted myself and told him I'm not comfortable with his advances on me and I would like him to stop. He told me he could never see me as a friend, so I said fine, we won't be friends. He immediately took it back and agreed he would go back to being a platonic friend.

But, he started it up again. He messages me all the time with "Hey beautiful, how are you wonderful?" and I know that it sounds sweet and well-meaning, but I feel like he's violating my comfort levels with him. I know he means nothing bad by it, but it makes the conversation super awkward when all he wants to talk about is how "perfect" I am. I told him gently again to stop, and he got super pissed and said he's always nice to me so I at least owe him a chance.

I don't feel I owe him anything because he's basically putting a price on his kindness: if I reject his advances, he'll get depressive and say what a piece of shit he is, or he'll get mad and tell me I owe him a chance. If I just act submissive and ignore them, he'll take it as a que to try even HARDER.

How to I really let him know that I am NOT into him and NEVER will be without being a complete bitch? And better yet, do you owe anybody anything just because they speak nicely to you? (In his case only most of the time).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • he's being a little bitch.

    2nd foul, tell him 1 more time if shit doesn't stay platonic then its over.

    3rd strike just fucking end it.

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    • You have a good point.

What Guys Said 3

  • Tell him you aren't interested in him and you don't want to be in a relationship.
    Tell him he isn't your type.
    Block his number if it gets too bad. You don't owe him anything. Let him down easily, if that doesn't do it the let him down hard! Choke slam that guys feelings!

    Or try to ignore him as much as possible then tell him you have a boyfriend that goes to another school or something.

    Needy guys like him don't deserve your time.

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    • I think I'm going to have to do that.

  • The guy is fucking lame.

    Obviously, you don't owe him shit.

    I think you might have to take yourself to the level of "bitch" after what you've stated in your post.

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    • I'm just about there to be honest.

    • Yeah, had this problen with a female for a bit.

      Just ignored her and it worked (for me).

      But in your case, you need to put him down for the count.

      Who gives a damn about his feelings? Yours are more important (to you).

    • You pose a good point.

  • U dont owe him, does he have ur phone number? can't u just block him or smth? maybe tell him u got a bf?

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    • I thought about doing that, the only reason I haven't is because he knows my group of friends and we always meet up when they're around, so he'd know. I haven't blocked his number just because I'd feel bad - but if he can't stop, I won't have a choice.

    • Some people just can't get it through to their heads...

What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like you need to cut him off completely. He's on the way to becoming a stalker or something. He'll be outside of your window or waiting by your car when you get off work before you know it. Tell him that he has over stepped all boundaries that you have set regarding the "relationship" you guys have and that it would be best if it was just ended. He is not entitled to anything. If you told him there was no chance of romance then he's just trying to guilt you into paying him attention. He's desperate and a damn weirdo... WTF

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  • ISFP PERSONALITY (“THE ADVENTURER”)

    I don't think it really describes me very well...

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