How can I attract a girl so that she would want to date me?

I'm a college senior and will be graduating this month. I'm a double major in finance and economics. I was also in a fraternity in which I served as president my junior year. In the fall I will be starting my PhD in economics at a top 15 university.

So in the past few months I've asked out a couple of girls and they all said no and that "my smartness is too much to handle." One I'm that smart, I just study and two I don't even get what they're trying to say. I'm would say I'm a 4/10 looks wise but a 10/10 for personality. I'm 22.

How can I attract a girl to date me?

Updates:
I think it's fine how I'll have my phd in like 3-5 years but can't get a girl to save my life.
Also it's supposed to be I'm not that smart

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well ill start by saying that the fact that you're getting your PhD in economics isn't going to hold much weight with picking up women. Guys who are way less ambitious than you pick up women all the time, and since i can only assume you don't want gold diggers... your degree path isn't going to help you much. It's only a sign that you work hard, but it can just as easily work against you if you come across as too rigid and inflexible with your time. To get a girl interested in you sexually, you need to provide her with what she wants... so essentially, you have to care about the things that women generally want.

    So what do women want? Well, you can never really know what every girl everywhere wants all the time, but there are some general things that they tend to look for which are somewhat universal. The first thing they tend to look for are guys who have some of the qualities you would find in a good leader, like confidence, decisiveness, and vision. It's important to understand why though. A lot of people just say, "well just be a leader/confident" but they don't understand why. Girls don't look at men and say things like "omg he's such a leader, let me go sleep with him". It's about what a leader usually provides... which is comfort and security. I like to think of this as going on a field trip during my high school days. There was something really relaxing about having the whole day planned, and just letting someone else manage all the time consuming stuff, and you just had to show up. This is part of why girls like confident men, because they make their lives easier and more enjoyable to live.

    Next things girls tend to want is emotional connection/impact. The whole idea here is that girls like to feel a spectrum of emotion when they are with a guy, and this can be done by challenging her on things, humour and being a bit spontaneous here and there.

    The last thing is that women want to feel special/significant. If you can nail these 3 things, you'll be fine

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    • It's too bad women don't always appreciate a hard working guy. Thanks for your response buddy, it is appreciated

    • they do, but that hard work doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be as hard as getting your PhD. What they value more are guys who are passionate about something. That passion can range from attaining a position in politics, to writing the best music. As long as your time is being occupied doing something fruitful for your development as a person, they are usually alright with that. But yeah no problem! happy to help

What Girls Said 3

  • find a gold digger. jk there is someone for everyone. don't be clingy or needy, be very sweet and someone will like you

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  • niceness and humor best trait

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  • Keep meeting and talking to girls (ask out more than just a couple), be more outgoing and social if possible, and if you're not already, be in decent shape. Everything else seems to be great. I can assure you, most girls like intelligent guys. In my opinion, if you want an area to focus on and improve, I would work on being more attractive; style, working out, etc. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 2

  • When do you talk about your studies? And how many first dates have you had?

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    • I only mention it if the girl asks my future plans after graduation. Or if we have mutual friends my friends will usually say something.

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    • I see. The best advice I can give you is to be confident and chivalrous. I asked a question once before about what make a girl fall for a guy after he asks her out. I think the answers generally said what I just did. Attraction is a funny thing. We all have a "type", but for some reason, we feel more attracted to one than we do another. It's not really something that you can spark in her or that she can make herself feel.

      I wish I could be more helpful than that.

    • Don't worry about it man, you've been more than helpful

  • Just be yourself man eventually some girl will find you attractive so in the mean time go out have some fun meet new people you're still young to be worrying about stuff like that anyway man.

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