Is this guy I'm dating gay?

I recently started dating this guy who I am very much into. We text and talk almost all day and our dates end up being unusually long. He shows he's really into me too and tells me I'm beautiful and that he loves my company all the time.

He's from the Midwest and complete gentleman. Always opens doors, pays for dinners and cabs home, tells me how much he likes me and all of that. BUT he talks a bit feminine. He does have a manly voice but he is overly expressive when he talks, says "like" in almost every sentence, and ever so slightly smacks his lips when he talks. It's just the way he talks, nothing else about him I find gay. He talks about sports, he enjoys them, used to be a baseball coach, he is very manly about everything else. He can't even stop kissing me when I'm with him. This is not graphic but There are times if we are making out on the street or so and I can feel him get a boner (sorry if this is to much but I need to know)..

Over all this guys is perfect for me. Treats me like a queen and all its just the way he talks that scares me a bit and I'm looking for assurance. I do want to put it out there that I have nothing against gay people. I have friends that are gay and I absolutely love them. However, if I am dating the man then obviously I don't want him to gay.

Please give me serious answer only! Thank you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Count your blessings that he's not like most male stereotypes, and never let him go! Stop nit picking, and looking for little faults or being suspicious. You will sabotage your own life with this type of critical thinking. This gentleman sounds like a GREAT guy. I mean really? He slightly smacks his lips or says "like" alot? So what. And so he's articulate and can actually express himself thoughtfully, rather than be the so-called strong and silent type? Ask yourself, do I want someone in my life who actually cares to talk to me, enjoys my company, is affectionate, and values an actual conversation with me. Seems like a no-brainer. Most women I bet would kill for a guy like him.

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    • I LOVED what you said!!! I really do like this guy a lot so I think I'm looking into it way too much. Thank you so much for your response :)

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    • That he can't tell me I'm all that and then not treat me that way. The day he said he wanted to see me he didn't bother planning anything so I texted him and asked if he wanted to see me still. He said something from work came up and he couldn't and suggested seeing me Sunday instead. I'm okay with him being busy but If he can't see me a text is in order. So I told him I need him to communicate more of he's busy and he said he will. But that night I sent him a long text of how I feel, he just disappeared on me. I don't know what I did wrong. I didn't ask for commitment I just told him i understood his situation but I needed him to make an effort to see me. and that I wouldn't keep dating someone if they don't make time for me. I told him to take his time and decide what he wants here on but whatever it is I need him to own up to it. That was Thursday night and he hasn't texted me back. Today is Sunday, I was supposed to see him today and that hasn't happened either

    • Hi! Thank you for writing me with an update. I really appreciate it, and it's really good to hear from you as well. I love the way you have dealt with this guy. You've given him every chance to bring his A-game, and been super positive, direct, and hopeful that he would. But it looks like he is simply too self-important or is not really as interested in you as we had hoped. And you sound like a fantastic girl, so it is truly his loss. I myself would be glad to call you my friend, and correspond more than him, lol. Seriously, you have so many great qualities. Not the least of which is how wonderfully articulate you are, which I can really relate to and appreciate. But good for you for sticking up for yourself and your needs in the end, letting him know he was missing that boat. You did nothing wrong at all. It is simply him, and on him alone. Feel free to message me, where it's not so public and impersonal. :)

What Guys Said 9

  • this isn't a measurement of his sexuality.
    i noticed that most of my friends when they talk to their gfs they start lowering their voice and show more excitement its kind of gay interesting way of talking to a girl..
    when they are with me their voice has zero emotion

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    • Wow I've never heard of that. It's quite interesting. Actually he does act overly jolly and cheesy.. but maybe that's just the way he is. I don't know.. I've never found a man so perfect for me, so my friends think I'm just looking for faults.

    • sometimes eagerness plays a role
      its like when u are cracking jokes around ur friends u dont care about how u act so u lose urself i guess he is losing himself when he meets u

  • No he isn't gay.. it is just the way he is.

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  • It's hard to tell if someone is gay through another person's eyes. But gay people can enjoy sports and have a deep, manly voice. There's even a slang term for gay men who fit these stereotypes exceedingly well. Is he big and burly?

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    • No he's tall and skinny. But toned.

    • Well generally you have to be considered huge before you earn the title of Bear. But if he's tall and strong then that could count too. I'm just trying to visualize him before I start throwing any labels around. Try asking his family. They might have some more educated opinions then a kid on the internet. :)

  • How can a gay get a boner if he's making out with you 😊😊 His talks may be a bit feministic, bit his boner shows that he's as straight as his boner 😂😂

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    • Hahaha you really made me laugh! I do hope you're right :)

    • When on doubt about a boner, feel it 😂😂😂

  • Well if he is all over you then he is quite obviously not gay.

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  • If he's been exposed to a lot of feminine energy in his upbringing it's natural for him to pick up some sort of characteristics from them. His way of communicating could be just one

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  • Gay guys generally don't want to date women, from what I understand. So... no.

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  • no of course he is not gay! he sounds crazy about you

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  • ya he not gay.

    However, bisexual?

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    • Yes, very much so by the sound of things he is more than likely bisexual.

What Girls Said 3

  • Obviously he is not gay considering the fact that he gets a boner when kissing u haha
    And well, there are straight guys who talk funny and gay-ish so I don't think there's anything u should worry about unless he starts checking out guys.

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  • No. Just because someone talks slightly feminine doesn't mean they are gay. Lot of gay people dont talk feminine and lots of straight people do.

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  • He's not gay he just has gay tendencies.

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