So me and this girl at uni have been getting on really well recently. We've been on a few dates that have been great and we've slept together a few times too. The only problem is that she doesn't want to 'put a label' on us. She broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years a few months ago and claims she needs time to get over it. I can totally understand where she is coming from but the other problem is she's going on a year abroad in September.
This really fucking sucks. I want more than anything to make the most of the time she has left before she goes away, but I feel that she won't be ready to commit to anything concrete in that time-frame.
It's more than just friends with benefits if that crossed your minds. We talk all the time and it's just messing with me because I have absolutely no idea what to do. Any help will be really truly appreciated!
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, it sounds like you're a rebound to her.
I'm in the same situation as her, I got out of a two year relationship recently, and as much as I like a guy, I panic every time I feel like it's getting too serious.
In my opinion, it would be a mistake to ask her what she wants, because you might not like the answer, and you'll be putting even more pressure on her. The only thing that can work now is to remove the pressure completely.
Talk to her on a daily basis, make her laugh, make her feel beautiful and smart and amazing, but without looking like you're expecting a commitment in return. It will kind of force her to let her guard down and be more relaxed around you. There is no way you're getting a commitment if her guard is still up. A girl in this state of mind will feel smothered with the least bit of expectations. But as soon as she stops feeling threatened, she'll be more comfortable and more open to develop feelings.
I'm saying this from personal experience, but I'm aware that not everyone thinks the same way. I'm just the typical girl with commitment issues right now, so I'm telling you what would work on me :) hope it helps1