Why do sweet girls sometimes wind up dating ass holes?

I notice sometimes that girls who are really sweet end up dating guys who are total douchbags over guys like me would would love and appreciate them. Why is that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell me about it. Then they bitch and complain where are all the nice guys.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Because it's their own damn business for them to navigate through and process at their own pace.

    I really don't understand why some guys seem to think they are entitled to a female's affections and attentions because they are 'nice'. 'Nice' isn't good enough. There has to be chemistry. There must be mental intrigue that makes her squeal at your texts. You must make her want to pounce right on you and rip off your clothes. There has to be something special about the connection. Otherwise, your love and appreciation is equal to that from a grandpa.
    Not only that, but "assholes" don't get girls by being rude, disgusting, jerks who treat females like shit. They have issues and baggage of their own that has reduced their morals and their capability to be decent and have a good nature. You have no place or right to label and judge these "assholes and total douchebags" simply because they are much better at the art of romance and attraction than you are.

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  • I never set out to date "an asshole" when I was single. What happened was, I became attracted to a guy because I loved his looks and voice and of course, during our mating dance, the guy and myself liked to show each other our best sides. The guy (s) would sometimes say things to make me like them more, when often times these were lies - but how would I know this yet? I didn't. I would get involved a little bit more until feelings were formed and then after finding out some of the things he advertised about himself were false, it was too late and I already fell for the guy he was trying to make himself out to be.

    So yes, these certain guys were dickheads, but to me and my face in private they would try and tell me what I wanted to hear and show me a side they obviously had to put an act on, but then lost it when they couldn't keep it up. Meanwhile, their friends probably thought, "What is she doing with him?" knowing he was an ass, but I was yet to find this out.

    So to answer your question - NO, sweet girls don't just drool at a jerk and think, "Ohhh wow he's a cheater and acts like a bastard to everyone, I gotta have me some of that!" We see the guy he puts forth to us when he tries making his first impressions and we end up thinking he's anything BUT an asshole at first.

    Then a whole other issue comes up when we realize we're with an asshole, and that is fear of breaking up with them BECAUSE we know what assholes they can be, or fear that we/him/us will be very hurt if we talk about how he needs to change or even breaking up because him being an asshole will make it difficult.

    And like @Esplorare says, just because a guy is nice doesn't mean he should get the girl before other guys. A nice guy with bad breath, goofy hair, and the inability to cater to that particular girl's wants and needs will NOT win her over, compared to a guy she finds appealing when she first meets him.

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    • Yes, this is basically true. Girls are attracted to traits that a lot of asshole guys display, so it's more a factor of girls figuring out what they want and navigating the games guys play to get what *they* want.

  • Curious; what makes the other guys 'assholes'?

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    • They don't seem to appreciate there girlfriend as much as they should.

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    • They flirt with other girls. behind there girlfriends back.

    • I guess that's the kind of guys they like. You shouldn't care.

  • Are they assholes because they're treating her like shit, or because they're dating her and you're not?

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    • Because they don't seem to appreciate them much.

  • The douchebags are good at pretending they're nice guys. That's what happened to me at least.

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  • Same way some really sweet guys end up dating bitchy ass girls. That's just the way the wind blows sometimes friend.

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  • Because they're not interested in you. They happen to be interested in those other guys.

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  • Because women like to fix things, i've watched women I know do this all my life. My girlfriend, family members, sister etc. always date these horrible men who treat them like shit because they want to fix them or they like the drama.

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  • They were abused in their childhood...

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  • That's not the case for all of us :) but more than likely she sees that there is a bad boy for some reason we find that attractive not sure why but even then I'm attracted to little bit and I hate it when boys are stupid like that.

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  • The guy probably hid being an asshole until later in the relationship.

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  • Because they are naive and they easily get manipulated

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  • 1. The girls might be pretty and seem nice from the outside but actually they might be the real b**ches. So b**ches and a**holes find themselves.
    2. The good guys might not have that much confidence. And this is a minus for most girls. Or maybe they don't want to ask them out because they are scared to be rejected.
    3. They just prefer the easier way and give up instead of trying to get those girls.
    I'm not that into relationships but I hope this helps

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What Guys Said 8

  • Usually because the assholes are narcissistic and don't give a shit, making them come off as very confident. Confidence in a man emits attraction, and by the time the woman realizes she's dating a prick, he's already scored and has her hooked on him with an emotional attraction.

    Also, many nicer guys simply won't go up and ask a very nice and good looking girl out, because they figure they'll get rejected, so all that's left are the assholes.

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  • This usually happens with girls in their teens or early 20s, because they find the stereotypical 'bad guys' irresistible. It's not so common with older women.

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  • Because that's what they want to do, I'm not saying you need to be an asshole, but grow a set of balls and go get you a girlfriend. You can be assertive and confident without being an arrogant asshole. do things that make you confident and do things you enjoy and never ever get hung up on just one move on and make them wish they had chosen you. Happiness doesn't come from someone else or inside it comes from choosing to follow what's inside. Doing things you know are gonna piss people off and doing them anyways. if it's what you want to do. Doesn't mean you can't appreciate a girl, and it also doesn't mean that that asshole doesn't appreciate her. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go do something to make yourself feel good.

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  • Because those guys are con artists who are good at the romance game to get one goal:sex

    Wish I could break every single one of them like twigs. They always leave girls second guessing a guy whether he's genuine or not because of the shit they went through with them...

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  • OP we learn new things everyday. Obviously something that the "douchebag" is doing something you aren't that is working. Lol at being a "nice guy." Only naive guys think that girls want "nice guys." Also how do you know she is a sweet girl? Not everyone is how they appear.

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  • Girl's like initiative and confidence something douchbags have a lot of.

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  • Because some women are suckers for punishment and emotional abuse, until they finally come to their senses around 40-45. (When it's usually too late).

    It's like somethink finally clicks into place after repeating the same patterns for 20-25 years.

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  • Maybe they are better looking, more intelligent, better senses of humor, better personalities, not bitter, better in bed? Any one of those could be a reason.

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