If he's trying, does he really care?

I've been seeing this guy for a couple months now, but the term "dating" hasn't been used to define our relationship. We had a fight where I asked about what our relationship is, and I confronted him because I thought he was dating someone. He assured me he wasn't and I believe him. He told me that he's working 70 hours a week and starting school next quarter and it won't be fair to me to not get the attention I deserve, but that he cares dearly for me. We hang out, cuddle (without sex) and have sex. I told him during this "fight" that I miss him hugging me, he doesn't text me as often as he used to and he doesn't cuddle after we do anything sexual. He told me that he doesn't have time and he could be out dating and hooking up with girls, but just doesn't have time.
Since the fight he has texted me more, hugs me several times and even kisses me goodbye (he even got out of the car to hug me when he dropped me off at home) and laid in the bed after we had a secual encounter. Is he trying to just make me happy or is he trying to show that he really cares?


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What Guys Said 1

  • "I told him during this "fight" that I miss him hugging me, he doesn't text me as often as he used to and he doesn't cuddle after we do anything sexu"<---- sounds like he does then... :-)
    "he even got out of the car to hug me when he dropped me off at home)"<--- another good sign! :-)

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What Girls Said 1

  • "He told me that he doesn't have time and he could be out dating and hooking up with girls, but just doesn't have time."

    That right there tells me that you're clearly not #1 on his list of priorities. I'd say that he just really wants sex and the only way he can get it with you is to do what you ask.

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    • I'm the one who asks for sex though. And often he just lays and kisses me without having sex or any kind if sexual contact aside from kissing. And honestly, I'm an almost 400 pound woman and he's a skinny extremely attractive man who could have anyone he wanted. So I'm really confused if he's showing he likes me by complying with my requests or if it's something else.

    • Why you would only ask for sex is your business, but it also indicates (correct me if I'm wrong) low self-esteem. If this is the case, asking for only sex from anyone is only going to lower that self-esteem. Trust me, I had a few one-night stands before I met my fiance, and I was an emotional wreck when he found me.

      So best thing you can do in this situation is ask him straight up if he really cares or what the hell he's thinking. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, so you'll never know until you ask. When you do ask, keep in mind that he may say he just wants you for sex, or he's just passing the time with you. Try not to be hurt, try to be understanding.

      And then politely boot him out the door c: You don't need that negativity in your life! :D

      If he says he really cares, then give him the benefit of the doubt. Either way, you come out of this winning c:

    • He's told me that he likes me and thinks I'm a really kind woman. I also don't ask just got sex, we hang out and watch tv, talk and just spend time together. I really love him, it's more than just for sex. I'm just saying that he's asked maybe once in the 4 months we been together

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