Does he really wants to be with me? I'm confused. . . help?

I've been seeing an older guy on and off for 3 years now and I'm not going to lie i like him a lot but I'm confused as to what he wants from me. He goes in and out of my life and i have no idea why; there are times when everything is great and times where i won't hear from him in months even if i call or text him. He just pops in my life when he wants to and it's not fair to me. I try to be honest and ask him if he really likes me he claims yes but acts differently sometimes... he recently reached out to me and i was acting very distant and i guess he didn't like that cause he was trying so hard to meet with him and having some interest in him and he worn me down i did hook up with him... i don't know what he wants one minute he wants me than the next he doesn't.

Oh i know he has children and no longer with his wife. I'm 23 and he's 53

Updates:
Well i thought he wanted to be with me because of sex but that's not the case he never initiate the sex i do.
No his ex wife has a younger boyfriend... I've met her and him

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would hazard a guess that he's been on his own for some time, as you have said you've been seeing him on and off for three years. After this amount of time being on his own, it must be very difficult for a guy of his age to establish a new relationship. He has got used to doing his "own thing" for quite a while. He probably doesn't really know what he wants, so you have little chance of knowing either. if nothing much has happened in three years, it is unlikely to change in the future. Unless you are very lucky!
    Only you can decide if you want to stick around and wait, but I think you could be on a road to nowhere.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Forget about him, maybe on and off works well for a 53 year old divorced man, but at 23 i don't think that's what you would want/need

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What Guys Said 2

  • Ya if you could go ahead and stop seeing him that would be great. He's 30 years older than you, he obviously just wants too hookup with you.

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  • Why do you want this guy at first of all?

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's just playing around. He's probably been sleeping with different women, knew he could get you so when he was in the mood started chasing you. Action speaks louder than words. He's using you. I'm sorry!

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  • Reminds me of an older guy I once dated (I was 31 and he was 42) who would act just like that. In the end, the issue wasn't the age gap, but the fact that he was, contrary to what he had told me, still with his wife... They broke up, he would come to me, they decided to give it another try, he would disappear without telling me. The very same thing happened to a dear friends of mine.

    What I can tell you: If a guy claims to no longer be with his wife, but still calls her his wife and not his ex, stay away! Chances are he actually still is with her and is just cheating on her, or he is not over her and will always try to get back with her. In any case, you don't wanna get messed up in this. You will always just be a filler for sex. Make sure the guy is actually legally divorced before you date him. I bet your guy is not. As long as they are not divorced, the relationship with their wife is not really over, no matter what they tell you.

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