Do many guys with Asperger's/mild Autism typically come off as being a nice guy?

Not the entitled type of "nice guy", but someone who posseses the following characteristics:
-Doesn't speak over a girl who is interupting him because he doesn't want to come off as selfish.

-Doesn't know a fine line between standing up for yourself and being self-centered.

-Is afraid to tell any racy jokes that stimulate sexual tension since the condition affects a person's knowledge on what's appropriate/not. (not knowing the difference between "you turn me on" and "Hey bby, let's smash in the bedroom".)

We were told by doctors and therapists that "Autism" means "focused on oneself or his/her own world" so what do we do to avoid coming off as self-absorbed about one's interests? The exact opposite! We ask so many questions about the other person and flood them with compliments that we lose our backbone and the girl loses respect for us.

That's our dilemma, we need to find a medium between arrogant and unconfident. If we don't know the social rules or dating and sexual tension/chemistry, we'll have no idea how to go about this and end up just being nice which leads to people thinking we're only using kindness to get in bed with a girl. What do you think is the solution?

Updates:
Ok I meant to say only guys with Asperger's who are overly self-conscious about their social skills fall into that category.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That doesn't sound like people with aspergers/high functioning autism at all.

    People with AS come off as uncaring becuase they experience and interpret emotions differently. They will usually tell someone the truth about something even if the truth hurts the asker. For instance if a girl asked how she looked some one with AS would tell her what he actually thought and not be nice to make her feel good.

    People with AS commonly speak over people and interrupt them. They go on and on and on about certain topics often not letting the other person get a word in edgewise. Why do they do that? Becuase they don't know/care that the other person won't like it. Which is the exact opposite of how you act.

    People with AS usually don't make jokes Becuase they don't get jokes. They are very literal, serious people. You said you don't make jokes because you don't want to hurt people's feeling. But people who actually have AS don't make jokes because they don't understand most humor.
    Also that example you made isn't even accurate. Someone with AS would be able to tell the difference between when and when not to say that. you would have to have an IQ close to retardation to not know when to say those things.

    People with AS aren't unconfident, they simply have underdeveloped social skills so they have to think about somthing longer before they know what to say. But if they know what to say, or its a topic they are interested in, they will blurt it out with confidence. People with AS have trouble talking with people because of the syndrome itself, NOT Becuase of confidence issues. People with AS do KNOW the rules, they just don't understand them, and don't care about them. Which makes it common for them to break the law.

    Aspergers is basically the male brain on steroids. Causing them to be very introverted, and to focus on tiny details instead of the whole picture. This is why girls with AS have more male characteristics then normal girls do. People with AS have a higher chance of being asexual or bisexual. Which suprize suprize doesn't sound like you.

    People with AS spend hours and hours in there heads creating fantasies that are so real to them that they start losing touch with the real world, as the fantasy world bleeds into it.

    they are more likely to become depressed or suicidal then a normal person is. They have moods swings that are similar to what people with bi polar disorder experience. And they have ad/hd. People with AS are much more sociopathic.

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    • Then a normal person because they can't connect with you emotionally in the same way a normal person can. Due to their lack of empathy. Over time they can lose more and more empathy as they begin to realize just how different from everyone they really are. This alienation can cause hatred and other very strong feelings towards the normal people around them.

    • People with AS are much more likely to have food allergies/intolerances such as dairy or glutton. Basically their bodies are much more sensitive. Some of these sensitivities are things like not being about to adjust to the sun light which causes them to squint even after they've been out in the sun for a long time. They hear things that other people don't notice and can't get them out of their head. Smells can be very offensive and uncomfortable to them, even smells that normal people barely barely notice. They get allergic reactions on their skin very easily as well.

      It's common for people with AS to be born with poor muscle tone. Becuase of this they usually have a strange way of walking, such as walking on the front of there foot, instead of stepping with the back of their feet first like normal people do. Poor muscle tone also makes it hard for them to stand up straight for a long time. it's common to see people with AS leaning or propping themselves up on the things around them.

    • Or having very poor seating postures

      People with aspergers wouldn't feel the need to tell people about the fact that they have AS. They wouldn't feel the need to tell anybody any personal information at all. They are chameleons changing colors to blend in. They become a person that best suits their current situation, or ignore the situation entirely, instead preferring to remain in their thoughts. Even if you think a person with AS is showing you who they really are, they most likely are not. Unable to fully take off their mask and see the world as a normal person does.

      In conclusion you are not someone with AS due to the fact that practicly everything you said contradicts what someone with AS would do or say. People like you hurt the actual people with AS Becuase you make it look as though it's not that big a deal to have the syndrome. When in reality people with AS/high functioning autism live a life of alienation and overall general misery. People like you truly disgust me

What Girls Said 1

  • Well I've noticed (obviously) they are less social, they are able to pick up on less clues, they don't notice the right time to make a move. They generally talk too much, and about broad subjects. I've never tried to have a relationship with one. Not even a friendship, it's been mostly in work circumstances where I didn't see them much.
    I'm not sure there's a nice guy title that comes with autism or even a perceived notion that they well be nice guys... More so harmless?

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    • I'm talking about the overly self-conscious Asperger people.

What Guys Said 4

  • not at all... a guy with asperger's MIGHT b a douchebag... isn't it possible? 8)

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    • Yes it is possible. I had to listen to one guy who admitted himself he has aspergers. He was annoying and rude, glad I don't have to be around him anymore.

  • remember how is the same as Eliot Rodger.

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  • I'm not diagnosed with Asperger's but my therapist and mum wanted to delve deeper. I can safely say I relate to what you've described but since I'm not diagnosed I might not be a good participant in this question. :/

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  • People with aspergers have IQ's that are about 30 points higher than everyone else. That is the only trait you can count on.

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