He only seems interested when I lose interest. How to deal with a guy like this?

I really like him, I do. But when I'm honest and nice to him making an effort he seems not interested- barely messages and is flaky with plans
so I give up and stop trying and stop texting him and he messages me things asking to see me and that he misses me, when he knows I'm losing interest.
Its been a few months and I'm sick of it.
We were meant to see each other in a couple of days but he messaged saying he has a family member staying and has to stay in with them. So I just replied ok. I'd suggest another night but I guess you're busy then too :p take care him x
He hasn't said anything after that yet
what should I do? He's sweet when we are together but we don't see each other that often... Just sick of the hot and cold, I don't like games :( why can't it be simple and easy


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If after a few months he's still not putting in the effort that you'd like to have, I'd cut your losses. It's hard, I know. But if he's still blowing hot and cold at this point and flaking out, it's not going to end well. If you stop initiating all together and aren't so easily accessible and he steps up and becomes consistent with you then maybe, but I'd say as much as it hurts you should think highly enough of yourself to walk away, knowing you deserve better than that. Good luck! We've all been there, and in hindsight I look back and kick myself for not walking sooner.

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What Guys Said 2

  • oh well... if i was u i'd stop give up, instad of playing games... it's kinda pointless isn't it?

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    • Why would a guy see someone for months just to be a player. I don't get it
      I haven't slept with him yet but we were going to the next time we saw each other
      But my last message is pretty final right? I ended it with take care.
      I guess he will either move on or make an effort given that he hasn't gotten what he wants from me for a couple of months and almost did?

    • u cannot figure out how players thing... they may look nice on da outside... but...

  • They are the worst sort of people, because they thrive on what they don't have-rather than appreciating what they do have.

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    • It's not fair. The last guy I liked was my boyfriend for 4 years, so he knows I'm a genuine good girl.
      when he said last night that he missed me I finally admitted to myself that I really like him, so now I'm crying over some jerk who I wasted 3 months on :(
      It's pretty clear that I'm done in my last message right? I guess how he responds (or doesn't) to that will say it all

What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like a classic player.

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    • It sucks
      I used to think he was sweet and genuine
      Why not go after a slutty girl who is easy and won't get hurt feelings :(

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    • I went from sad to angry real quick
      I confronted him outright and pretty much asked him if he's just a player

    • Oh dear. That likely didn't go well... He's not likely to admit it, and more likely to accuse you of being crazy :( Your attention is exactly what he wants, stop giving it to him.

  • That's how most people are. They like the thrill of the hunt. Sometimes you have to ignore them in order to make them stick around. It is quite sad but true according to my experience.

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