If you are the kind of person that never liked or had a one night stand, would you be okay dating someone who has had a few?

I feel like a lot of people on here say you can't judge others by their past, and while that is true, to me you are the culmination of your past.

I understand others enjoy ONSs and that is fine, but I never have liekd the idea. I found out my current girlfriend of three months has had about half a dozen and I just can't get over that... I know I shouldn't be upset as she says she really likes me and we have some of the best sex she has ever had, but I just can't stop imagining her being so carefree with sex when for me, it is fairly important to me, especially by today's standards.

Either way, do you think I have the right to want someone wiht the same views of sex as I do? I feel like many women on here just attack guys that won't accept women regardless of their sexual pasts.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When she was doing her ONSs was it when she had a boyfriend? If she was cheating then to me that would be too much. Maybe she just had a very low self esteem and needed someone there and she figured sex was the only was then realized it wasen't and kept that pattern going.

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    • No she was single for sure and I have never doubted her cheating on me now. Actually, you are fairly close on that. she was not very popular in grade school I think and she did not go to university right away, so she felt like she just had to settle. Though, now she has admitted she deserves more and really enjoys our relationship the most.

      thanks, you sort of put this in perspective for me even if I had all the answers already haha

    • Your welcome :)

What Girls Said 6

  • I've never had one, but I am capable of unattached sex, so yeah, sure. Sex is purely and completely physical to me and holds no intimate value. But I am very serious about my personal sexual/physical health, so I prefer exclusive and/or committed sexual relationships. I use a condom EVERY time and get regular checkups. To this day, I have never had a single STD.

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  • As long as he wouldn't try to push me to do things I'm not ready for. I intend to stay a virgin until my honeymoon, and if my boyfriend won't respect that because of his 'needs' then I probably wouldn't stay with him :P Like I wouldn't judge him for his past, as long as it won't mess our present up.

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  • Well, if you want someone with the same views, that is your right.
    There are certain things I hold in high regard and I don't think I could be with someone who didn't value these things.

    I feel you should be honest with her so she can make the decision whether or not she wants to stay with you and adhere to whatever principles you abide by. That doesn't seem likely.
    You can't change the past and she may be proud of her past.
    My husband was very free, sexually and I was a virgin when I met him. All that meant was that he knew how to help me discover my sexuality. There were no other implications. Someone's past doesn't have to define their future. It's not like she can't control herself and her urges, just because she has been with more people than you.

    Just don't be preachy to her, I can't stand preachy people. It seems more of a you issue.

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  • I can understand you wanting someone with the same sexual views as you. With my own personal situation, I want to stay a virgin until marriage and I ideally hope to find virgin guys who want to wait too. Even if they're not virgins but they'd still wait for me, then that's fine.

    With your situation, even though your girlfriend has done those things in the past, which she can't change, she may still respect and understand your views. She may have been different back then and now she views sex as more important than she did before. Do you know what her views are now?

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  • I haven't had one night stands. But the guys I have had sex with have. It doesn't matter to me. Both of them have said that I have given them the best sex they ever had, and I think that it is because of closeness. I like to get to know each other well beforehand, so that I we are comfortable with each other.

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  • I know how you feel, but.. The thing is, how much you love her? Can you accept her the way she is?

    And she is not your first too right?
    And the main point is, as long as when she with you, she is not sleep with somebody else right? Then why so worry about her past? When you also ever sleep with someone else in the past..

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What Guys Said 4

  • by "todays standarts" hah... ya got me

    come on the sex and porn thing is getting more and more accepted nowadays...

    you have the right to want whatever you want for all i care... but you do NOT have the right to force your own values and principles on another individual.. especially if the individual is an adult.
    You can judge everyone all you want though ^^

    Her life, her decisions, her past it's not your buisness what she has done or who she has slept with in the past.
    What counts is what she is doing now in the present and what she is goint to do in the future.. But if you can't cope with your SO then you should move on

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  • Sure you do...

    That said, what is a one night stand or twelve, in the grand scheme of things? It's a blip... Not even a blip on the radar of life...
    Sometimes the most beatiful and well rounded women you'll ever meet have lived and learned through little moments like a ons. It doesn't mean you don't take sex seriously or that you're a whore... It means you're a human being that, just like everyone else, makes poor decisions and acts impulsively.

    Personally, I'll take the wise old whore over the cute, stupid prude.

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  • Everyone has their standards.. If she doesn't fit yours but the sex is great, maybe you should rethink your standards or just figure out which one is more important to you.. standards or the awesome sex? I don't judge on her past, her business.. certainly don't feel it's right for anyone to judge me by my past. People mature and change and their views on things become different

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  • Just remember the past influences the future. No one wants to admit that but it's true. Promiscues girls are good for sex and nothing else. So I say keep fucking her until you find a good girl, then dump her and get the other girl.

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