Is it normal to date someone for 3, 4, or even 5+ years without getting married?

A couple girls I'm interested in have been dating a guy for 3, 4, or even 5+ years. Is it common to date someone for that long? These are all women 25+ and out of school.

I would think that after about a year you know whether or not this is the right person or not, and you either get engaged or break up. Certainly after multiple years you should know. Maybe I'm just odd?

One woman I know has told me she's unhappy with the relationship but she is satisfied with the stability it provides her two kids from a previous marriage, but the other women I'm interested in don't have kids, financially stable, etc.

If a woman is dating a guy for 3-5 years does that mean she's okay with the situation but not totally in love with the guy? Or is it common these days to be in love for years but not married? If it makes a difference, we live in a community with lots of strong and happy married couples so there's no lack of mentors and people to look up to.

Anyone here been dating somone for several years? Why have you not become engaged or broken up?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's perfectly normal for women to be in a long term relationship and not be married. It doesn't mean she isn't in love with their partner, or that he doesn't love her. Getting to know someone takes longer than a year. Finances are the biggest issue when deciding to get married, and it's understandable that some people don't want to take that risk. Then there's the people who just don't want to get married because they don't see the need to.

    I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and he's already been married and it didn't end well, and he has no intention of getting married again. It disappoints me a little, but I love him and enjoy being with him, so I've accepted that we will never get married.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I feel like getting married after 2 years is a good thing. Often people say Marriage is only a piece of paper but IS NOT! And it makes me so angry when people say it is. Marriage is two people becoming one through a different kind of commitment than just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. When you aren't married after 5 years I feel like it's a waste and if either one wanted to get out, it's super easy like poof and we are done. But with a marriage you are willing to work and stay together because you are married and you love each other. 2-3 years is definitely my limit. I'm not getting any younger and if we love each other so much what are we waiting for? I feel like after 2 years it's like a waste because dating is getting to know each other and we've spent two years doing that so what are we doing after two years?

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  • I've been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years and we have a baby. I never wanted to get married

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What Guys Said 6

  • More and more , people put off marriage until 30 or later. They don't want the mortgage and kids yet. So, they usually don't consider marriage as an option, even if they've been dating for even 7 or 8 years.

    It's more common now, but there have always been people like this. They prefer an informal relationship until they're ready for kids and a permanent arrangement.

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  • not bad... actually i see marriage as sth "formal" and pointless :)

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  • Nothing wrong with this, it's actually the best option when it comes to dating. Getting married is not a good idea at all.

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  • it's a GOOD thing to date for several years before rushing into marriage! :-D

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  • I got married after 8 years. I still think it was maybe a bit too early.

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  • Marriage isn't as important as it was in the past. Independent women means less need to rush into any sort of commitment which puts your personal finances and valuables in the hands of someone else...
    Ehhh.
    No... I like my car... I like my house... Marriage would mean prenuptial agreements and lengthy discussion of finances...
    Not worth the trouble.

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