How do I meet people in real life when I don't have any close friends to begin with?

Hi I've been single for over a year and a half now and have spent a lot of my adult life single anyway. I get along well with people at work and seem to make friends with coworkers, but overall suck at meeting people in the real world. Without online dating I wouldn't have even been on some kind of date or even flirted with somebody in 4 years. Unfortunately since I've moved a lot, changed jobs, etc., I'm used to being alone in a bad way- it's gotten me into a lot of hobbies that are NOT conducive to meeting people under the age of 60 if anyone at all.

As someone who doesn't have much money and doesn't like to drink for sport, is there any way people actually meet? I go to a lot of community things and just end up being alone in a crowd, which I honestly don't mind but I've stopped thinking of them as ways to meet people because I can't just barge into a random circle and be like "HEY GUYS WANNA BE MY PAL OR MAYBE SLEEP WITH ME?". Everyone already has their group, and I guess the other singletons are at home because they don't want to go out alone. So how do you even start when you have to go out alone like a creepy weirdo? And where do I even go?

What are the most generic hobbies/interests to talk about? What is popular and attractive? I'm sick of being "unique" (which is synonymous with "boring"); I just happen to like stupid things I can do by myself to kill time to stop thinking about how lonely I am. If I start drinking more I'll gain more weight and be tired all the time (I have no tolerance, but I guess that can change) but that's by far the most common singles activity so I'm slightly considering it. I feel like I spent so much time trying to be comfortable on my own that I never learned how to fit in and be loveable in any way. It sucks because I genuinely like the things and am actually cool with how I look overall, but the things that I like about m


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it sounds like you are least out there and trying, so that's a good start. Just getting off the internet, or away from their freeking phones and texting, for many people has become a major issue. It's also good that you haven't just signed on for the whole alcohol experience. Great call, as the people who go to bars and clubs, as well as the bars themselves, present a whole new set of issues, including them perhaps not liking you for you, sober and alert. I would suggest a yoga studio as a great place to meet friends and network, for instance, as opposed to a gym environment.

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    • Thank you, I didn't think of yoga, that might be something I could do

What Guys Said 1

  • online friends maybe? it's easier behind da computer screen i believe :)

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    • I know but that's what I was trying to get away from. I'm also not sure how you would meet friends online, most things are dating sites or for a specific interest, but things I like aren't popular enough for anyone in my age range.

What Girls Said 2

  • All friends were once strangers. You have to go out and talk to people!

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    • That's what I was asking- how do I actually do that? As in where do I go and what the hell do you actually say to random strangers (on the street? where?)

  • What do you like to do? favorite thing to do on your spare time

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    • My main interest is classical music.. which doesn't really help me meet people under 55 lol. I play in some orchestras which I love but it's not going to help my love life. Besides that my main interests are other artsy things and some outdoorsy stuff, but you don't meet people on a hike or a bike ride because it's not where people really stop anywhere and gather socially; you're just on a path until you turn around and go home.

    • I see what you're saying... a lot of people go out to clubs and bars, just make sure its the right enviorment, meeting people at those types of places is a good place to start; where some people go to mingle and be social

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