Why is it so hard for men to open up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Much like men can use physical power for constructive or destructive purposes, women can use emotional power for constructive or destructive purposes. Men have feelings they want to keep them unhurt. Even if you have no desire to hurt them, experience with (or impressions about) women will lead some men to be wary.

    The best thing to do is be open also, and be sincere about what you say. A man is much more likely to open up in a situation where he feels he is unlikely to be hurt. "You don't have to open up to me if you don't want to, but if you ever feel like talking about your past, I won't judge." Saying something like that is more likely to make him feel comfortable than "Why don't you talk about yourself?"

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What Guys Said 8

  • In short: I don't trust you (not in particular you, teetee20, of course) :)

    In long: we spend time, she wants to know more, I want to tell more too, to share my thoughts, to learn her. Then she hears my thoughts and gets distant. Yes, she found some things not comfortable and thus we don't get fun anymore.

    So, should I keep "closed" and we have both fun or "open up" and say farewell...

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  • I think it is because when we try to show emotions or talk about something we are emotionally connected with society and our friends tell us this is unmanly be degrading the person by calling them a "wimp", a "pussy", or "gay" which makes the guy much less willing to open up again because he was shut down and told that is basically was unmanly to do such a thing. I wish this would change though because we are all human and should all be able to express emotions without being seen as weak no matter the gender

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  • It's not. There just isn't this huge font of hidden emotions that men have. There are of course certain things I don't share with anyone except for those I am very close to, but there isn't this huge "I love bunnies and rainbows" dichotomy from my normal personality that I try to hide.

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  • It's a privilege not a right, you have to earn it and my trust.

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  • It's weird, because society's view on men's behaviour is that we are supposed to be strong, and unmoved by anything, and that fears make us wimps. Saying these things to even your partner or just a good friend doesn't really happen now, because men fear the consequences of saying too much to a peer.

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  • And why do you want us to open up?

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  • It's perceived as "gay" to open up.

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  • We're conditioned to be a rock for you. We have three features:
    1. stable and intact - our most sought after trait.
    2. cracked and or broken.
    3. Rough around the edges and needing to be rubbed.

    What more would you like?

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What Girls Said 2

  • fear. same with women.

    fear of rejection, judgement, scrutiny, tainted reputation, verbalising thoughts, being accessible or exposed to someone else.

    it goes on really. i think the more guarded someone is, the more theyv experienced and the more love and care they need despite a rough exterior. i feel like i can see right through that sometimes.

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  • They are scared of being called sissies or something.

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