Please help, I feel destined for heartache with any decision. Should I continue to date a guy that make me feel this way?

My boyfriend is sweet. He genuinely cares about me and loves me. I can see it in the way he interacts with me when we are together. The things he says and the affection he shows me really do prove how he feels. Still, I can't help but be a little upset that he does nothing for me, ever.

I was really used to being let down in my last relationship, all of the time.
I know my current boyfriend is different and making genuine mistakes. For example, drinking in his friends and me in their dorm and not offering me any alcohol, failing to give me a hug goodbye for the summer, going to our last dinner together before the break completely wasted (to celebrate the end of his exam). I'm the first girl he's loved, so it makes sense.

I do so much for him, even though I try not to so I don't feel let down after. It's just hard not to. I bring him food while he studies, and treats when he's upset. I gave him my extra pillow all year because his neck hurt, even though mine started hurting. I do sweet stuff everyday. I know I don't have to do it, and he comments on how I don't have it. It's just something I can't help doing. And I will like make him a gift and it'll take me 10-15 hours, and he will get me a food from the store inside his dorm. Yes, I do appreciate that he tries, but he doesn't take my polite suggestions.

What hurts me most is that I am flying out to see him soon. Not only was he so bad about helping me with the planning, and I had to pay 2x more, he hasn't done any of the things I was so excited for when we're apart. He harrassed me for my address while I was figuring out my living situation after he had left, because he wanted to send me things. It's been weeks and I've had other things come in the mail, so I'm guessing he just decided not to send stuff? I told him how I tried putting his birthday card to me in a special spot but couldn't find it. I


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he truly makes you feel this way and you genuinely care about him, try your best to make it work. Let him know that you feel he isn't putting enough effort in his actions and it hurts that you feel you're giving more to the relationship than he is. Don't give this up because you clearly like this guy. Make it work, I promise you you can and will.

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