Would dumping someone for favoring spanking as a parenting method be harsh?

I've decided that this would be my new deal-breaker and have my own personal reasons I don't really care to discuss. Personally, I don't believe in that form of parenting method nor slapping a child in the face for only words but whatever suits you.

I don't think there is any way I would be able to continue to date a man that favors that. Sure... I don't want kids but what if I see him spanking a newphew of his or small child and I don't like it nor want to see that? I would be basically powerless in that situation.

  • Not really, I'm not in favor either and it's just another dating preference
    75% (6)50% (8)58% (14)Vote
  • Yes, that's harsh and there can still be a compromise
    25% (2)50% (8)42% (10)Vote
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Updates:
Update: Well thank you all for sharing your views. I'm firm on keeping this as a deal-breaker. If he's not on the same page with me on this topic, I'm dumping him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I voted A and I feel the same way.

    I don't plan on having kids but the thought he'd ever even hit a child would disgust me.

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    • Yeah I don't understand what getting hit as a child actually teaches you besides an ''Oh I never not do this or else my mom/dad gonna smack me''. You're not learning because it was wrong and are making better chooses but rather just out of fear.

    • choices

    • Exactly. I think it also teaches violence is okay and a good way to solve problems. It's just stupid. Why would you want you child to fear you?

What Guys Said 13

  • I mean it is your preference in the end, so that is fine.

    Though I think spanking is not the worst thing in the world... I have seen too many kids with no discipline nowadays. I may not spank myself, but we as a society need to be better at shaming out kids, I think many lack a sense of shame. for instance, if I was out with my parents, say at dinner. If I was crying or acting up, my dad would take me outside until I calmed down and would tell me that is disrespectful to others, an now I am very empathetic because of lessons such as this. Naturally if I was being ultra bad a bit of an arm squeeze or spank was not the worst thing in the world...

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  • I voted A) primarily because saying you approve of spanking shows that you partly condone physical abuse of children, and I wouldn't want to date someone who sees children as a means to release some everyday stress.

    Then again, under a certain age (years of 5), a tiny slap on the butt should get the point across if nothing else works. I mean, some kids don't take compromise either. But beating someone with a belt and stuff? That's just insane. I am not even sure how anyone even managed to come up with the idea. No wonder so many people have emotional problems, anxiety, dread.

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    • Exactly... I can't think of anything productive that child will learn by threatening him/her with a belt or using it (even worse... if done out of frustration).

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    • Well I guess we define things differently I would call that corporal punishment. I just thought u guys were part of the nanny brigade my bad

    • @Jaydog666, no I had no nanny. I'm a hispanic woman that turned against that methods. Yes, I was spanked as a small child by my father and nope... I learned nothing but fear. I hate it.

  • People have been dumped for a lot less

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    • True and honestly I don't really ask for too much. For instance I don't care about the ''is he at least 6ft'' thing. I actually look for deeper stuff.

    • Well that's good to know and you know what you want

  • Spanking as a corrective measure is not abuse in my opinion. How ever there is a difference in spanking and beating , how ever fine a line you choose to draw to differentiate the two

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  • Maybe, just maybe, it might be good to be a bit more open minded about a subject it seems you know little about. Have the humility to acknowledge it, since you don't have and don't want children.

    So is it fair to punish a guy by dumping him, based on opinions that have very weak foundation? I don't know. You decide..

    Maybe you made that decision, because you have anchors leading to negative memories I don't know. But whatever motivates your decision, a few personal particular cases won't invalidate the idea that the old school method (when used appropriately) produces disciplined, socially well integrated and responsible adults.

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    • Maybe but among things I'm don't even ask from a guy (such as height, him having a nice car, big status which I can careless... they mean nothing to me in regards to personality, his ideas and major stuff life choices about him), I can't comprehend the idea of laying your hands on a child as a way or correcting him/her or get your points across.
      We don't get hit or smack for behaving poorly in your workplace and if this wouldn't be done on an adult for ''learning purposes'' then why on a child? Yes, by the way this is coming from a spankee who turned against it for the longest. What I learned at the time was nothing but fear.

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    • and then the following day (regarding that failed attempted), I was upset that I didn't want to talk to him for a while day or so. I wouldn't had my mother had urge us to get over it.

    • Yeah looks like your father sucked bad at educating you using coercion. Spanking for "not understanding" that's pretty retarded. I am not a father yet so I won't judge too much. But this one is a no brainer... His move was retarded.
      But hey, I wouldn't want to be dumped if I met you, because your father sucked bad you know... I understand the wrong he did so why make it a deal breaker?

  • Would it be harsh? I don't think so, no. Slapping across the face is not a punishment to me, it's just an expression of anger at that point.

    Anyway, harsh or not, this is your belief and you're entitled to it.

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  • It's not harsh at all, Im also against spanking a kid and would never do it. It would be a deal breaker for me too. I get very angry when parents smack their kids.

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    • Yeah all I get is that the child is only obeying out of fear and not actually learning to make better choices.

  • The choice on that stuff isn't entirely yours when you have children with someone. Parenting is a 2 person thing.

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    • In which is why I is best selecting a guy that's on the same page as me on this topic.

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    • Yelling is wrong and can be just as damaging, technically that would be classified as verbal/emotional abuse. I would think the parent isn't very effective. There is a reason why there are child psychologists available too.

    • Yeah, piss poor parenting is one of them. The best parenting is a delicate balance between physical and non physical consequences.

  • No. Tell him if he lays his hands on your or kids you'll shoot his ass, and mean it.

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    • Thanks... will keep that in mind.

  • Not really, I'm not in favor either and it's just another dating preference

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  • Physical education is sometimes necessary, you can't be this soft. As long as it doesn't turn into abuse.

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    • Just because someone chooses not to spank doesn't necessarily mean they're all soft and have no rules at all. Being soft is really when someone does absolutely nothing.

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    • Nope, I never understood its purpose even as a kid. Now, many years later and I still don't. All I ever learned was that an adult (esp the father, an important part of a young girl's life) can lay a hand on you in frustration and you're only obeying out of fear.
      Also, being spanked with a belt for not understanding a math homework and getting the answers wrong. Again, all you learn is to associate it with fear and it makes you hate math for endless years.

    • That is unfortunate, but what you are describing is abuse, it has nothing to do with education.

  • If you can't agree on how to discipline the children that's going to be a major problem down the road. Anyway I'd be very dubious about someone who thinks spanking kids is a good and effective means of discipline.

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  • I don't see how dumping someone for them being in favor of child abuse could be seen as harsh.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, it's fine to have standards. That does sound a bit extreme but if it's really something that you just don't agree with and aren't willing to compromise on, I guess that's that.

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