Guys, unfinished business with a girl?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for a few months. I haven't slept with him because I wasn't ready being newly single and needed to be sure he was a good guy
I'm now positive that he'll never want a relationship with me. I know he likes me and he hasn't been 'seeing' anyone else in the time I have- but he makes barely any effort and I can only see my feelings getting hurt
we've almost slept together a few times but I held off until I was sure. He thinks we were finally going to the next time I see him
How would you feel about getting so close to having sex with a girl after waiting months only to have her walk away?
He's a good looking guy and has other options but I know he doesn't like sluts and wants me over anyone

the reason I ask is if he is suddenly extra nice and trying when I'm unavailable or hates me suddenly I'll understand.
Thanks

[Anonymous]

First of all it always bothers me when girls leave guys because we don't put in enough effort. 1. Enough effort varies from girl to girl and sometimes we honestly just don't know what's enough and what's too much and we undershoot a lot. 2. Girls always bail because we're not invested enough before we actually get time to feel invested. Okay I'm getting down off my soapbox. So on too your situation. I'd be hurt. Really hurt. If I've been at it for months I really like this girl and if she just dips right before the physical parts I'd feel like I've been lead on and used and she's leaving before things shifted from fun and free meals to serious relationship time. Now how if respond to the hurt varies. I may get over it move on and not care. Or I may get pissed and try every possible way to get you as far away from me as possible. Just depends on how things get handled. But no matter what (and I'd never admit this in person) I'd be hurt. Really hurt. I don't talk to a girl for months for the sex. If I just wanted sex a couple weeks is max effort I'm putting out. A few months means either this is one hell of a dry spell or I really like this girl.

[Klaatu51]

disappointed... but i'd b ok.

sex isn't #1 priority anyway... no?

[Asker]

That is true
You think being friends is possible in these situations? Since he's not technically an ex

[Klaatu51]

yup :)

[Anonymous]

Textbook example of why you should always keep meeting other people and continue to set up dates until you're exclusively sleeping with someone.

[Asker]

I guess I've been open to meeting someone but I'm not interested in actively going out to meet someone
I don't meet many people I like unfortunately and I don't settle

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, that's cool. I'm just saying as a guy that the best way to never be disappointed about spending 3 months on a girl who may decide never to sleep with you, is to keep meeting other girls and going on dates in the interim. Those are the guys who will actually take it the best if you decide not to sleep with them because they will not have put their dating/sex lives on hold for you.

[Asker]

I wouldn't see a guy who was seeing other people
But I'm from australia so I think we do things differently here
I know what you mean though
I would have slept with him ages ago if he treated me better (not that he treated me badly), but he k knows I'm the kind of girl who needs respect first

I'd love to just have fun with him anyway but I really like him and it would end badly :(

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I hear you but I wouldn't exclusive see a girl who I don't have a sexual relationship with.

How did he disrespect you?

[Asker]

He hasn't disrespected me
He hasn't taken to to dinner or anything, we've just been the movies or drinks a couple of times, he obviously prefers me to just come to his place
Plus he doesn't make much effort to message me and ask me about my day efc
It's the little things that show he's not into me, just wants sex with me

[lamborgini15]

I would hate it just tell me not yet i would be pissed at that.