How can I convince my mom to keep letting me see this boy?

so i started talking to this guy a couple months ago but i never told my mom about him because i wanted to wait until i knew that i wanted to date him. I tpld my mom I was going over a friends house everytime I hung out with him in oreder to keep him a secret. We have had sex a couple times since we mey but it's not all about the sex because he always tells me how much he wants to date me and he has taken me out to eat and for ice cream a couple times. Last week i went to the ER because I thought i might have had a UTI or a yest infection. When the doctors asked if i was sexually active I told them I wasn't because my mom is super religious and she would kill me if she found out I was having sex. The next the day the doctors called my mom and told her I had chlamydia. The boy i was talking to had no idea he was infected and sincerely apologized to me. I'm not mad at him and i still want to see him. But my mom is mad that I didn't tell her about him and that i had sex with him and now she won't let me see him anymore. I now have to tell her everywhere I'm going and she has to talk to my friends parents otp to make sure im not sneaking off to see my boy. She told me she's ashamed to have me as a daughter and she never thought i would do anything like this. She's also making me go to church all the time even though i dont like her religion. How can i talk to my mom in a respectful way to try to get her to let me see him again because i really do like him and I've never liked a boy as much as i like him? Also how can i get her to trust me again and to give my boy a chance?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • :O

    you're underage! Uhm, I don't know, I'm pretty sure your mom is just looking out for you.

    If you want her to trust you, you have to respect her decisions and show her that she's got nothing to worry about. But since you've already been going out and having sex, my suggestion would be to stop for a bit until she does (if ever) see that you're responsible and mature enough to make your own decisions :P

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What Guys Said 5

  • Your mother may be a religious zealot and she may have over-reacted to his situation, but. . . you consistently lied to your mother and now you want to know how you can get her to trust you. Short answer: you can't.

    Long answer: There are two types of people on this planet - people who have never lied to you and people who have. You trust people who have never lied to you and you have a reason to not trust people who have lied to you. Trust is like virginity; when it's gone, you can never get it back. You can be unfaithful to a partner and perhaps they will forgive you, but they will never forget and they will never trust you again.

    You are becoming an adult and you must realize that you don't always get a second chance. Learn your lesson and suffer the consequences. Maybe if you act appropriate for a while, your mother might allow this boy to attend church with you and then perhaps visit with you in your home. If he is not interested in pursuing this option, you haven't lost much of a boyfriend.

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  • You are asking for a lot here. The only way to gain trust back is to be completely honest with her for like a year. And there's really no way to change your mothers mind. She has to do that on her own. Your only real option here is to do whatever your mom says and try to prove to her you are an adult. Might I ask how old you are?

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    • I'm 17 about to be 18

    • Gotcha. But yeah, there's no quick fix here. At least not one I'm aware of

  • how old are u?

    if u re under 15 then chances r, she won't even let u do anything, unless u have her permission before :/

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    • Im 17 about to be 18

    • i guess when u reach 18, shed not have any right to tell u then :)

  • MISTAKES WERE MADE.

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  • dont think you can until you are over 18 and can control your own life

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What Girls Said 4

  • Forget it. If i were your mum i wouldn't have let you see that boy again.

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  • Mommy knows best

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  • Well, you are saying "your boy" when probably you are not his -only girl-, let's start right there.

    Haven't you realized that he infected you? Ok! That's a huge red flag.

    I am on your moms side but you are still underage and you are living by her rules now and probably she gives you all what you have.

    I also give you credit because you respect her and want her respect back, you aren't a childish kid that believes that she owns the world.

    I know you like him but he did so something so wrong to you that I would say I am speechless, he didn't care that you trust him and I would say you should keep a distance.

    People chance but sometimes you some space to make sure what has to be changed.

    I would say that the only way your mom can start to trust is you now is by doing the things she asked.

    Look, she used to trust in you that can comeback.

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  • You can't convince her. You're still young and she knows best.

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