Am I too harsh?

ok ladies and gents I need honest opinions here. I've talked to a few guys in the past couple months and I'm not one to waste my time if I don't see something coming from it. I flirt with the guys pretty normally and if I don't see something that really catches my attention I try to let them know within the first week and they get angry at me for leading them on when we've only known each other for a short time. I don't think it's unfair to do that though, I just don't want to waste my time and to be honest I like being single at the moment and have lots of exciting things going on so why waste both of our times and lead them on when there's not something there for me, right? I'm just talking to them like I would if I was to continue speaking with them if I was interested to see what they are like and I decide from there. I let them know quick and am nice about it so... am I being too harsh or is it good to know what I want and to not lead them on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No not over the internet and yes that's people on the internet for you especially guys, very pushy and unstable, you don't need that breed of men lol, however you may want to stay reserved for a while because the internet is the internet and you look different on your web cam and in your photos than you do in person, you might not see if but others do, i tried internet dating but it went terribly, too many guys out looking for a hook-up and it just generally makes people go mad over you over the internet befiore they have even met you.

    It continues to allude people that they haven't met up yet, they go WAY too fast and are just generally really creepy and irratic over the internet, but the internet can never make up for how different it is in person vs just chatting on the internet because it does indeed create some false pre-concieved notions, and i find it silly that people (particularly guys), base you off what they see at first before meeting, you go on cam and see each other but again it will be different how you see each other and the shape of someones face to how the light bounces off your hair, different to how you feel around each other too, i just don't understand how they can judge anyone before meeting, so i find internet dating very unrealiable.

    So if you want to date over the internet i think it would be better to be reserved, don't spend too much time on the internet getting to know each other then arrange to meet up so you can find out sooner rather than later if your actually match and how you feel when your actually in the same room as each other, the internet can't provide that experience for anyone.

    • I'm not even dating over the Internet! These are guys I've met, they've gotten my number and then we've started talking!


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What Guys Said 1

  • If your letting them know within the first week then I see no problem with it. Besides, if its established that two people involved aren't exclusive then why put all your eggs in one basket?


What Girls Said 1

  • You don't seem too harsh, but I would restrain myself from flirting too much because guys will think that you want a relationship. Take it slower and figure out whether you're interested before you start flirting a lot.

    • I wouldn't even say I'm overly flirty, it's an average amount and I want to be a little flirty so we keep talking because generally in the start I like talking to the guy!

    • Hm. Then try having normal conversations without flirting, and then once you figure out whether you're interested or not, start flirting with them. I think that'll help cut down on confusion. Although some guys will think you're flirting even if you're just being nice and friendly, so maybe there's no real way to get rid of the problem.