I have deep passionate loving feelings. How can I share this with out scaring a girl away? How much do I show at first?

I feel like if I let my feeling show I'd scare a girl off? I have a deep passionate love and really want a strong emotional connection with someone. I don't let this show because I'm afraid to come on too strong to early. With some girls I look into their eyes and can feel a deep connection immediately and want to hold them and share my love with them. I don't want to scare them off so shut down and show no interest. I feel if I try to show a little I won't have control. I don't know how to start with a little affection just to show interest. Any tips or ideas? How much affection do I show when first meeting then on a fest date and so on. I see a cute girl and like her personality my heart immediately melts. How do I stop this. I know girls want a man they don't some emotional, romantic, wimp. How do I shut down these deep feelings and just be a regular guy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, I've been asking myself that kind of questions as well. Three or four things actually seem to work for me.

    - Actively making sure you do (or try to) meet, interact or go on dates with multiple girls at the same time, at least in the beginning. If you keep options open, you realize that that particular girl is really not THAT special

    - Find your goal in life, the thing that gives meaning to your life, what you'd still do, and enjoy doing even if you were castrated and had absolutely NO chance with women, and go for that goal

    - Understand how YOU get attracted to women, what goes through your mind, the process, what you feel and think, what makes you develop feelings. That one is perhaps a bit unhealthy in my case, but I've found that I need to trust a girl to develop feelings, so having deep trust issues from my past, I kind of use that to my advantage to keep from developing feelings when I don't want to

    - Understand how WOMEN really get attracted to you or to other men in general. That one can either be depressing or liberating depending on your personality and outlook on life. And I'm not talking about what women want, but what they subconsciously need, seek and are drawn to. The (kind of) irrational side of it.

    Good luck

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    • This is true. I've never had a relationship so I think I'm not only romanticizing the idea but am also lonely. Not in an unhealthy way but normal. This makes me look for the best parts of people and imagine they are perfect. I need to start dating so I get a real feel for not only the girls but relationships in general.

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    • Don't girls usually expect a guy to ask for exclusivity? That's weird but I guess I'd approach it in a subtle way. Asking where she thought we were if she wanted us to see other people or if she cared. Just to know not to push in either direction.

    • You see, one thing I learned is that while us men have a need for certainty, most girls love uncertainty (even if they don't admit it). That's why women like mystery in a man. You bringing up exclusivity KILLS any mystery or doubt about your intentions. Once she knows anything for sure, she can't spend time on her own thinking or wondering about it. I've got to go but in short, you're supposed to have your interesting life going, and she's supposed to bring up exclusivity when she likes you so much that she's starting to be afraid of losing you to another girl.

What Girls Said 2

  • Bro, you ask similar questions often. I think you're in your own head too often. I feel like you need to get out and do stuff more, ya dig?

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    • I am starting to do more but I feel like this a huge obstacle for me. I think this is what is holding me back. I have no problem starting conversation or asking to dance. But I have a mental block about showing interest or affection.

    • You're right - too much too soon will scare women off. If you share affection about half (or a third) of the times that you want to at first, you should be okay.

    • Ok makes sense

  • i dont think it would scare her at all.

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What Guys Said 2

  • whoa man... start seeinher as a friend first i told u!! otherwise she might start feelin scared!! ;)

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  • You're quite right; you don't want to come on too strong, too quickly. The best thing you can do is go on lots of dates and control your feelings until SHE starts spilling her guts to YOU.

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    • In what ways do I show interest. And much do I show in the beginning.

    • You're already showing interest by asking her out. Beyond that, keep your feelings to yourself in the beginning.

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