I'm mentally confused about dating. Any advice?

I'm 21 years old single male who's mentally confused about dating in general. In the past I only had one and only girlfriend which approached me first and we got into relationship just only for two weeks just to only break up later on. The thing is that I'm very shy around women/girls in general and I don't find it satisfactionaty that girls/women asks me out (That only has happened once with my ex girlfriend) as I should do this as it's our guys/men job to do, I feel this way and it's tearing me apart even tho that I find it confortable girls asking me out and that's where I'm mentally confused about that whole thing.

Tho I once asked a girl out and well it was a fucking catastrphy and in general if I decide to approach girls/women in friendly manner, I always get friend-zoned as I really don't know how to move forward my actions to ask either them out or make this level more up so they would know that I would want to date them or be my girlfriend.

I also have low self esteem and I guess that's the problem and I was thinking about buying some clothes to boost it up or something like this (I saw this advice online btw) but I just dunno if it would work really...

I also have tried online dating and I don't think I'm that ugly looking guy. I want a relationship with person who doesn't live thousands of mile away and I must say that works preety well as I usually get girls messaging me back but once again I fail to ask them out to date or the conversation just stops after first 15 minutes...

I don't go clubs, pubs as well as don't do one night stands or friends with benefits as it would destroy me mentally and I'm not only looking for sex but for person who I care about a lot and have bright future with so for me it's only Relationship and nothing more even in million years.

Any advice please? And please, if you want say to me to go for prostitue just keep it to yourself and don't contribute in this thread.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry, I'm sure you're not that bad looking too. Someone will appear for sure :)
    But if you want that, you have to try and do something for it. And being rejecting happens sometimes. Don't let your bad experiences haunt you.
    I think that advice about buying new clothes is good. It actually worked on me before and still works, so... ahah. Maybe going to the gym would help too?
    And what is so bad about woman asking you out? It's not like you guys have to do all the work everytime. I did all the work with my boyfriend in the beginning, cause he was also kinda shy, but he's actually more dominant than me now.
    Don't feel bad because of it, you should be happy instead cause that's a good thing :)

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    • I see. I think I am like extremely shy because even sometimes I have problems with getting along with some guys, tho not with all of them (I'm not homo BTW). Yeah sounds good, I just don't understand how does clothes are helping in boosting my self esteem but it's sounds good to me and I think it will work. I'm more of a slim guy and lately also have decided to do Body Building as I have a lot of free time on my hands. I'm just afraid that I won't find that person who I would like too :/

      The another blast at my face is when women/girls are trying to drop me some hints, I just hate it and don't understand anything at all, that's why I prefer when women/girls are directly straight instead of playing this mind games, it's just blowing my head up. Around few years back there was some girl dropping some hints to me and I didn't knew anything until she ended conversation because she had to go catch the bus and after she left my mates told me she tried to hit me on me and I was like what?

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    • Oh yeah, now we're talking! :) Go get those clothes and maybe you can try in other places too, or going out with some friends and ask them to bring new people. I don't know... Search utill you find your girl c:
      Yes, it has to happen anyways cause if you don't make a move/effort, your life hardly will change! I wish you good luck ;)

    • Thanks for your support. GAG is such amazing place to hang around (:

      Well now I guess it's time for some action : D

What Girls Said 1

  • just keep trying until you find someone!

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What Guys Said 3

  • u do well... although tryin friends with benefits and stuff won't make u a dirtier person... y u think dat way?

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  • You may be looking for a serious relationship but the girls your age aren't. This is their time for fun and adventure. Your only choice right now is whether to have fun with them and wait it out until you come across someone ready for a serious relationsihp, or stay on your current path and be miserable and bitter for the next 10 years until the girls your age are finally ready for a serious relationship.

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  • You are a condom freelancer. You have all the reasons to be cofused. Lol

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