Why am I afraid to get close to guys emotionally?

I dont have any bad experiences or trauma from childhood that cause this. i just find it very hard almost impossible to open up and get close to guys emotionally. i feel like if i do i will be vulnerable and i dont like the feeling. i can have casual relationships with guys and sleep with them but as soon as they show signs they want more im scared and not respond to it eventho i like them a lot too. more than one guy told me that i dont show affection and i seem like not interested but i am its just very hard for me to admit and show it. for example i can have sex with them no problem but i dread talking to them on the phone so whenever they call i just dun pick up and i dread going out for dinners too so whenever they ask me out i just find excuses not to go. am i normal should i see a psychologist?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Fear of commitment? Some people crave it more than others.

    • I'd love to commit actually cuz I liked the guys too its just very hard for me to show any kind of emotions/feelings/affection to them so they thought I wasn't interested

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    • they started slow first like usually we just met up at each others place n had sex then they d ask me out for dinner like really getting to know each other or another one we were sexting n he asked to call n talk to me on the phone nit about sex but just talking. I've always found excuses to avoid tho so it looked like im not interested but i am...

    • I'd guess some sort of anxiety, basically. You don't really have to know the reasons, according to cognitivite behavioral therapy. You just have to take small steps in spite of your fear. So start by just talking a bit more not about sex. If he asks you out, it's a date - not meaning you're stuck with him forever. Scale back how much everything means in your mind and take small steps.


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What Guys Said 2

  • guess u r not used being around wid guys? :)

    • im not sure most of my workmates are guys and I love hanging out with them. romantically I have no problems being around guys casually but as soon as the guys get abit more serious its hard for me to show them my feelings too so I choose to avoid it

  • Your parents were never very affectionate with each other in front of you, were they?

    • no they weren't like no hugging/kissing but they say I love u and being warm etc

What Girls Said 1

  • It's just a defense mechanism.