Guys, MEN: Can a guy go back to a girl they used to have feelings for or?

I used to have some feelings for one of my best friends and he felt the same way, but I backed off. He had a girlfriend plus I didn't want to lose the friendship we had - those aren't the reasons why I backed off though. I thought it was, but I realize now that it was more or less because I was afraid that it was turning into something, and I got scared. I'm twenty and I've never been in a real relationship before (real=no boundaries + lasting longer than a year at least), and I got scared that we would actually work out (am I making sense to ya'll?). I guess things were progressing fast between us yet he had a girlfriend, and I felt like I didn't know what I was doing.

I eventually forced myself to give up, and I was successful. However, I've started to have feelings for him again after spending a whole day with him and his family/other friends on his college graduation day (he held an afterparty afterwards). That day, I learnt more about him and about his family, and I realized all I'd been missing out on. During the party, I found myself jealous when other girls would flirt with him and get all excited about our newly single mutual friend. By the end of the day, I realized I'd fallen for him again. I recently said goodbye to a man, so at that time I thought it might just be from the adrenaline from my heartbreak as well as from other things like family issues going on in my life right now - but I still feel the same, so I guess it's not the adrenaline.

That night, I couldn't sleep. A few nights later, I went crazy and told him through Skype (since I'd fled the country for summer break). We tried to arrange a time to meet in person before I left, but couldn't. The result? Bad. He froze for a second, then he told me he no longer has feelings for me and that he's not looking for a relationship right now because he just broke up with the girlfriend I mentioned at the beginning. I shouldn't have told him. Now, he feels awkward and we used to chat

  • You can't regain your friendship/He'll never fall for you again
    16% (4)
  • You can regain your friendship/He could fall for you again
    84% (21)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll
Updates:
My description was too long and got cut off, sorry. You get the idea though

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9

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you must believe what he told you the last time. Give him space. Respect his choice. But stay friends with him. Perhaps see other guys, not to make him jealous, but for your own growth. Friendship can turn into love, it is not impossible. But if you bug him now too much, you might spoil it forever.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Shit happens... thats what life is all about and the best part is learning those shitty moments and getting through it...
    The boy you like had feeling for you as you mentioned so its fine... and he had a recent broke up... I think you should give him some space because looking in his POV he might be afraid to make a move thinking that you will take it in a wring way. You know, like its not good to get on with another relationship ASAP after you just broke up with someone... anyway... I think just try to be there for him and not to loose all your feelings like you did... if you felt jealous that means you like him... duh! So talk to him about his day and show that you have feelings for him back again but this time more that friends but don't go over the limit.. you know, keep it limited... Eventually once he is read for another relationship let him know that your available for it...

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  • B, because it happens. I've seen it with some couples around me, and it didn't always end bad, either. Whether I'd personally do it? Most likely not.

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  • I bury my past. So I highly doubt it.

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  • It's certainly possible, how likely though? I'm not sure but it is possible

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  • the friendship is possible but if too much time passes he will move on (unless if he didn't take rejection very well) and the feelings will die off.

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  • As a matter of self-respect, no.

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  • No he must only hit it then he must quit it

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  • He could fall for you again… but there's nothing you can do to make sure it happens. I hope i'm not confusing you. The chance is very-very-very small though. Especially if he had met other girls.

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