I used to have some feelings for one of my best friends and he felt the same way, but I backed off. He had a girlfriend plus I didn't want to lose the friendship we had - those aren't the reasons why I backed off though. I thought it was, but I realize now that it was more or less because I was afraid that it was turning into something, and I got scared. I'm twenty and I've never been in a real relationship before (real=no boundaries + lasting longer than a year at least), and I got scared that we would actually work out (am I making sense to ya'll?). I guess things were progressing fast between us yet he had a girlfriend, and I felt like I didn't know what I was doing.
I eventually forced myself to give up, and I was successful. However, I've started to have feelings for him again after spending a whole day with him and his family/other friends on his college graduation day (he held an afterparty afterwards). That day, I learnt more about him and about his family, and I realized all I'd been missing out on. During the party, I found myself jealous when other girls would flirt with him and get all excited about our newly single mutual friend. By the end of the day, I realized I'd fallen for him again. I recently said goodbye to a man, so at that time I thought it might just be from the adrenaline from my heartbreak as well as from other things like family issues going on in my life right now - but I still feel the same, so I guess it's not the adrenaline.
That night, I couldn't sleep. A few nights later, I went crazy and told him through Skype (since I'd fled the country for summer break). We tried to arrange a time to meet in person before I left, but couldn't. The result? Bad. He froze for a second, then he told me he no longer has feelings for me and that he's not looking for a relationship right now because he just broke up with the girlfriend I mentioned at the beginning. I shouldn't have told him. Now, he feels awkward and we used to chat
- You can't regain your friendship/He'll never fall for you again16% (4)
- You can regain your friendship/He could fall for you again84% (21)
Most Helpful Guy
I think you must believe what he told you the last time. Give him space. Respect his choice. But stay friends with him. Perhaps see other guys, not to make him jealous, but for your own growth. Friendship can turn into love, it is not impossible. But if you bug him now too much, you might spoil it forever.1