Would you date a female like me? Why don't older men? I'm 18?

I feel really lonely, and I'm 18. I only like older men, and whilst some of them have flirted with me, in the end it doesn't amount to anything. I am an Academic, a young writer, very spiritual and well read (my favorites are Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, Nabokov, Jane Austen etc) and I dress very modestly, like long dresses and Russian shawls. I'm thin and fair skinned with freckles and auburn hair. People say I am beautiful/cute, including older men. I am a very sensitive person, I am somewhat easy to cry, I am gentle, submissive, soft spoken, openly vulnerable and very loving. If I had a boyfriend I'd cook for him, cuddle him all the time etc and make sure he's happy. I also suffer from depression regularly. Is it my age that stops guys from dating me, that they simply aren't interested, or the restrictions of me being at school?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men will date an 18 year old. Men will date someone still in school. At least some will. You are not describing enough to see what the problem is. It is just a collection of some traits, they could apply to so many different types of people that it's almost impossible to know what you're really like to be around.

    It's unfortunate that you feel lonely, that is a terrible feeling. One potential problem is that a lot of people find a partner and then expect that partner to fulfil every interpersonal need. That's an incredibly demanding proposition, and it is not a partner's job to be there 24/7 to keep a person entertained. So you don't want to imagine this potential future person to be the solution to your loneliness. It will help, sure, but to have a healthy long-term relationship (which is what I am assuming you will want) you will want to have a healthy balance of together-time and together-activities, and solo-time and solo-activities. It could be helpful for your long term health and happiness to start trying to find some social circles to engage with outside of the 'relationship search', as that will be something you will need anyway. And that is often a good way to end up stumbling across a partner that you weren't looking for.

    Work on trying to fix your loneliness yourself, by building a life that doesn't need a partner. That is when you will be in a position to find a partner and to treat them as a partner, and not expect them to be your one-stop solution for everything. You don't want to be falling into codependency or something like that, it's not healthy long term.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Although you're not really my type there are many, many guys who look for a girl just like you are. You're young, you'll find a guy in time, don't worry. Just don't act desparate. Don't go out deliberately searching for a boyfriend cause that's usually a turn off. Just enjoy yourself, be confident and guys will notice you.

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  • I would go out with you but we would have to have stuff in common and there was a connection if you lived anywhere near me I would want to chat to you. I think it may be the depression younger people may not know how to handle it or understand it even older people do.

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  • Probably the school thing from what you listed. You sound like a very pleasant person to be with.

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  • It's just that you are a very complicated person and most people probably will not understand you. I understand where you're coming from though, I'm a lot like that.

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  • If you're 18+, I would.

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  • Dunno but i would date you if you like men that are muscular

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What Girls Said 0

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