Should the guy pay on a date?

Or is this too old fashioned?

  • Yes he should
    67% (33)49% (24)58% (57)Vote
  • No he shouldn't
    33% (16)51% (25)42% (41)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The first several dates minimum the guy should pay. I typically pay until I know if I want a committed relationship with the girl. The guy should pay because he is investing in you and should pay that small price without a second thought. I don't even give my dates an opportunity to pay.

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    • So how would u feel if she made a grab for the paycheck and immediately told the waiter its split, yknow before u even had a chance to pay?

    • Show All
    • @corrupteddocument You must not be very observant on top of not registering in your brain what I have already wrote. Your assumptions are incorrect and invalid about myself. Leave the alpha to me and go back to being your beta little self. You are arguing on the incorrect premise that you think just because a guy pays for a date means the woman is entitled to a mans money.

    • Your attack was lame, try harder. You've avoided my point and can't make a decent counter point aside from deflection and attacks. "lol you mad" fits this situation, You believe being a man is being a utility for a woman because you put her and her time on a pedestal. That's sad and doesn't make you an alpha, just makes you a chump... have fun with what you do, apparently 4 ladies liked it.

What Guys Said 42

  • Yes, i would pay for a date if i was taking a girl out
    and if i had sons, i would expect them to do the same
    pay for a date if they take a girl out. When i took my ex
    girlfriends out i always had money to pay for a date.

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  • It can be better for a girl to pay her own way, especially on the first date, as it can remove the feeling of 'owing the guy' something, of obligation. That thought of "Well, he paid for dinner, so I should at least give him a kiss or something... it was an expensive meal..." It removes that from the equation. So that can be helpful. It also helps establish the woman as being an independent entity able to care for themselves, even if they do allow the man to pay in other situations. It becomes a choice, which is important.

    Even if you are ok with letting him pay, if you are not concerned with something like obligation because you know he's a nice gentleman who isn't going to think that way, it can be nice to at least offer. Give him the option to go dutch or to pay... a lot of guys will 'insist' on paying anyway. But this can then take the sense of it being an obligation away from him, which is just as nice as having that obligation removed from you. He can then choose to pay or not, knowing it is his choice.

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  • no way... each their own

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  • this is something that should be decided by individuals and not some hard and fast rule across the board.

    I enjoy paying for my wife when we go out but I love that she likes to pay sometimes and sometimes we split the bill (both now that we're married and before when we were dating)

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  • I'm in favor of going Dutch.

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  • No it's more of an obligation really. There is no reason for men to have to pay. I've heard that it shows that we're serious about you but A) it's the accepted social custom so it proves absolutely nothing since everyone assumes the man will pay and B) shouldn't you also be showing us that you're serious?

    No, on a date both people should be investing their time and money. It's a mutual event so why should either person be expected to pay? It's not like you didn't want to go but he begged you and offered to pay.

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  • I'm old fashioned so yes.

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  • it is old fashioned, but these days people are pushing towards equality of both genders so, it being 2015, I don't mind splitting the bill.

    ALLLLEEEXXXXX :D

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  • I vote 'A' cause I prefer that always - call me old fashioned. But if the girl insists on paying her share then I don't force it around.

    Chivalry is best when accepted & appreciated :)

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  • No one should be "obligated" to pay especially since times and gender roles are constantly changing.

    That being said, I'd like to pay for my dates, it's how I was raised and I enjoy doing it.

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    • So you are telling me if you ask a girl out on a date you don't feel obligated to pay? That sounds crazy to me. YOU asked HER out? Why ask her out on a date then? It's supposed to be you taking her out. Asking someone you like out is saying I like you and if you do me the honor of letting me taking you out I would be treating you to a lovely time. It's old fashioned yes, but it's sweet and romantic and that is what dating is supposed to be about. It's romancing a person you like in hopes that they might be the one. The problem with both genders these days is they date frivolously for sex, or for fun. Dating used to mean taking someone you think might be a suitable partner for life and seeing how things go. I think gender roles do change but not our sexes. There is always a alpha and a beta in a relationship. Romance, being a gentleman, being a lady, despite our successes and careers and education do not mean blending ideals and values into one unisex mess. Sigh.

    • @confusedstl

      Did you not read what I said? It definitely said I would pay.
      Please take the time to read before ranting.

    • I responded to the wrong person.

  • I usually like to pay for mine and I don't care what everyone says, it's the gentlemen thing to do in my own opinion.

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  • SOMETIMES. She should also pay sometimes. Or they should take turns. Or they should pay for parts of the date.

    The guy should not be expected to pay for everything, forever.

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  • Being an old fashioned individual the guy is the one that should pay for the dates since ladies should be the one that is enjoying the date so there is my opinion for you. :).

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  • It's old-fashioned for sure. But hmmm. I'd say don't get upset either way. Let the guy pay if he wants to, or split the bill if that's the better solution. Guys don't pay for you because we want to put you below us. We pay for you because we like to spoil the ones we love (or date). So, maybe discuss it a but, but don't take it as a patriarchy anti-women insult thing, if you get what I'm saying. Because it's really not.

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  • As the guy, I expect to pay for the date. Especially a first date. The financial structure of dates can be further discussed and modified within a relationship.

    But on that note, I expect to pay, but its polite of the girl to offer at least part. Then I will insist.
    But really I think whoever asked for the date should expect to pay. But I'm usually the one asking :-P

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  • should a guy pay? hmm. if you got married, would you cook dinner regularly? i mean, how much old school do you want, or are you just picking and choosing?

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  • actually.. there should be no rule.. and one mustnot always think about who's paying th bill.. casually.. anyone... if he's paying dont stop him... but if you are, he msutnot stop you... if the guy is broke, he must feel free to tell her... and so should the girl...

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  • Yes, if she wants to then whatever. I really don't care. I have a coworker that literally tracks who has paid for what, keeps a ledger in his mind. That's messed up.

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  • I don't like the options because should implies thier is only one correct choice. I'd probably pay most of the time, because that's just how I am, but I am never obligated by virtue of being male to pay for the date.

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  • No. Each person pays for his/meal. This is fair and not awkward.

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  • I will usually buy at most a cup of coffee for a girl I am not sleeping with yet.

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  • On a first date I usually at least expect to pay, but if you offer to go dutch i will usually accept

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  • Yes! A man must assert his dominance! A real man knows... just kidding, although I would feel I need to pay the bill, I wouldn't mind splitting. But I like to pay for everyone, even when I'm out with my friends, I don't let them pay.

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  • If it is the first or second date, it is not a bad choice (not bad does not equal good) unless it is too expensive; for later dates, no.

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  • You split the deal. Fair is fair.

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  • go Dutch
    //////////////////////////

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  • This depends on the region of the world where you are dating. In the USA it is expected and a man will be pleasuring himself if he doesn't take care of the check. However in Sweden the women will always go dutch on a check and split it 50/50. In fact they might get offended if you try to pay for their stuff because it implies you think they're poor.

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  • Split the bill. Money is scarce, unless you're rich then it's all fine.

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  • I have on the one and only date I've been on haha I would again too.

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  • If both of you are into gender roles.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 21

  • I always say split the bill
    Some guys may think they're obligated to pay, but bring your own money and say you want to split it

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  • First Date Always and Second date as well. However, the third date Might be questionable where You as the girl could offer for you both to go either dutch treat or pay for something too. xx

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  • If he wants to, sure. I don't think it should be an obligation though. If I had to pick any kind of rule for who pays, I'd say that whoever proposed the date should pay.

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  • Going Dutch is my kind of thing. Or I pay for everything. I don't like it if someone pays the whole bill.

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  • In general yes, but after a few dates the girl should at least chip in or buy drinks at the bar. I have dated guys that made much less than I do, so I was alwYs alright with paying, my current boyfriend earns over 1M. USD. So he always pays, I just pay him back on my back. ;).

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  • I personally think, you should pay for yourself. But sometimes it's nice if the guy plans something and pays because it makes her feel special. Of course I would do the same from time to time. But generally I think it should be split and pay for yourself.

    But there is couples out there where the guy is happy to pay and I think that's fine if the guys fine with it. Ultimately it's the couples decision on who should pay and when

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  • I'm totally cool with halfsies.

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  • He shouldn't. Each must pay for their own.

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  • I'm very old-fashioned when comes to this. Maybe because I was raised and surrounded by this type of belief. I live in a place/country where it is a courtesy for men to pay for every date. So far they never complain about it.

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  • depends who asked, or they could do one pays for dinner other pays for movie or whatever activity.

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  • I think it's respectful and like being a gentleman for the first date, shouldn't be every single time though.

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  • Not all the time

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  • I always split the bill

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  • Guy can if he's willing. But splitting is cool too.

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  • If you ask, you pay. No matter what your gender.

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  • yea he has do it for the girl i

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  • All the broke ass guys choosing the no option.

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  • Usually guy pays on the first date. As for me, whoever asks first pays.

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  • If a man asks you out he should pay for the first date. Yes, it might be considered old fashion but nothing everything 'old' is bad. This is how it should still be and any man who says otherwise is cheap or wasn't taught how to be a gentleman, I don't care what any of these other guys say. How can they say they are worthy of being your man, your protector, one day a head of a household if they can't even pay for your date when they asked you out. Now let's say if you both decided to just get together and 'hang' out... Dutch is fine and probably the best.

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    • The problem with your statement is that most women no longer see the guy as head of the household. Most women today are trying to escape their gender roles, while they keep men in our gender roles. This is why guys are starting to have a problem with paying or upholding our end of the gender roles. I am sure you wouldn't like being expected to fulfill your gender role while your man refused to fulfill his.

    • You are right. I'm not a cook and I don't want men I'm dating to be expecting me to cook dinner. But I'm educated and make good money just like they do so I'm contributing as much or even more to the household than some of the guys I've dated. However, I always ensure that they are treated like Men and I'm not saying I submit to all their demands but I let them take charge and they might pay for the first date but I treat them as much as they treat me. This is just the first date. I'm not stating they pay everytime. We do eventually share the expenses but usually the first date if they asked me out that they pay. I didn't ask them out. I think there is nothing wrong with it and thinking otherwise, how do you feel like a man? I've dated guys who are short of money sometimes (they didn't make even half of what I did) and they felt less than a man when I had to pay. I'm not sure where this mentality of paying for a first date became crazy.

  • For the first one... I agree after that. It should be spilt or take turns...

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  • I think he should.

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