Should I just cool it and see if he will reach out to me first?

For the last 5 months, I have been hooking up with my best friends brother. In the begining we we went out on a few dates (he asked me out and was very persitent and this was after we already slept together) when I was home for the holidays for two weeks, but I was away at school after so our relationship was just super casual and we'd basically just hook up when we saw eachother and we talked a few times a week. But now I'm back in town and Im living with his sister so I see him all the time, since he lives close. I have started to get feelings for him and I do like him, care about him. He told me he thinks Im a cool girl to hang out with and that we really hit it off. I want to stop being just a casual hook up thing with him though because I dont want to continue hooking up and getting hurt in the end. Im not sure how he feels about me either... I want him to take me more seriously but I don't know if he will since we have already slept together:( But I have stopped sleeping with him currently but he always iniatates kissing me when were drinking or even just when were alone hanging out. We're both kinda weird around eachother and I guess I would also be to blame because I dont really show him interest when were together (Ie im not very touchy or flirty with him, but he's not either? I feel he might be a bit shy?) But when were in a group of people he gets quiet with me and barely looks at me, unless he's had a lot to drink then he'll kiss me infront of everyone hold my hand etc. But he'll always do things like sit right next to me. But he hasn't really asked to hangout just us two, he did a couple weeks ago and offered to drive me home so we could be alone and kissed me on the drive home. I dont want it to turn into just drunk hooking up. How to stop and avoid that from happening? and I usually reach out to him first, so maybe I should just cool it and see if he'll reach out to me first?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have an open and truthful dialog with him. Tell him how you feel, that you like him and desire more. He could be feeling the same way and I suspect he is.

    You say he is shy but he was very persistent about asking you out. When he has been drinking he gets bolder (as many people do) and is openly affectionate with you in front of others. Clearly he is not ashamed to have people know how he feels about you.

    I think he needs you to give him encouragement. Lead him gently into this relationship and you may find what you are looking for.

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    • How can I lead gently him into a relationship? How can I encourage him?

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    • Yes! Thanks so much! if you have any more suggestions or advice that would be awesome:)

    • Well, for heaven's sake. Tell us how it went?

What Guys Said 5

  • yes... if he was interested i guess he'd come back first :)

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  • is it sure he actually wants a hook-up?

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    • Im nit sure what he wants, but from current it just seems like it wouldn't you say? in the begining we did go on dates and hang out so Im not sure:(

  • Just tell him ur looking for something more than just a hook up

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  • Rule: don't have any alcohol during the first 6 dates. AND DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT THAT.

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  • You're his little sister's friend. I actually remember commenting on this story situation about a week ago or so.

    My opinion is the same as last time, you're his little sister's friend. Little sister's friends are not for relationships, they are for fun. Actual relationships get too messy, especially when you live with her. Your relationship is already just drunked hookups. It isn't going to turn into anything more, I'm sorry.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Tell him you don't want it to be drunken hookups and then don't sleep with him. That's the only way.

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  • just cool it.

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  • just cool it a bit.

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  • you should tell him that.

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  • yeah you should.

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  • you should just cool it.

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