My situation is... I don't know If I'm a dateable guy.
My problem is I grew up with child abuse and for many years I lost my ability to speak except whisper and my energy became so depressed, I couldn't even speak normally anymore - I could only talk very lightly. My posture is poor, because of my feelings and I've had severe depression for the majority of my life and even though I've done a lot of self-work - I still feel very lost, to the point where I have no curiosity for anything. I feel like a stone, sitting there wondering what I want to do at all (besides get groceries, etc.). When I go outside, since I'm a very good looking guy - I get a lot of looks. People take notice of me a lot, but I know they must think I'm some kind of high status person. For example: If you saw some kind of popular actor... I get looks like that a lot, but the problem is, I don't have a high status position - I worked in a family business, until very recently. Anyways, I think I could easily get a role of a soap opera - If i were an actor based on looks alone. I bring that up, because only really attractive women, show any interest in me and I see them maybe 2-3 times a week out of all the people I pass by weekly. I wonder all the time, about how people are judging me - that I must be some really chill guy, who's got looks and because of looks he must have a high position and must be something amazing or something. People stereotype you, based on looks. I also never had strong social relationships. Child abuse makes it hard to trust people and my social skills are restricted to very basic levels. Do you think I'm a dateable person? I'm so different than a normal person and I feel like people expect so much from me because of the way I look, that I'm afraid to be rejected. I mean the higher someone thinks of you - the greater the fall when they realize that the person Isn't the person they beleived/hoped.
Most Helpful Guy
Hi. Late comment here. I can relate quite a bit to your situation.
You pretty much listed all the negatives, apart from your looks. The thing women are attracted to above all is effectiveness.
My current view of self-esteem is that it is the extent to which you yourself influence the world in the direction in which you want it to move.
What I think is that you can use your resources (yes, you have them) in a way where you make the world more appealing to yourself. I. e. since you're good-looking, you could use that makes the world a better place (in your opinion). The same with your other resources.
I personally find the following article to be valuable input in terms of self-help. You are an adult, but you feel lost. Can you be a good parent to yourself by setting limits, reasoning and responding to your emotional needs?
Just my two cents. Take care :)0