Am I a dateable/relationship guy?

My situation is... I don't know If I'm a dateable guy.

My problem is I grew up with child abuse and for many years I lost my ability to speak except whisper and my energy became so depressed, I couldn't even speak normally anymore - I could only talk very lightly. My posture is poor, because of my feelings and I've had severe depression for the majority of my life and even though I've done a lot of self-work - I still feel very lost, to the point where I have no curiosity for anything. I feel like a stone, sitting there wondering what I want to do at all (besides get groceries, etc.). When I go outside, since I'm a very good looking guy - I get a lot of looks. People take notice of me a lot, but I know they must think I'm some kind of high status person. For example: If you saw some kind of popular actor... I get looks like that a lot, but the problem is, I don't have a high status position - I worked in a family business, until very recently. Anyways, I think I could easily get a role of a soap opera - If i were an actor based on looks alone. I bring that up, because only really attractive women, show any interest in me and I see them maybe 2-3 times a week out of all the people I pass by weekly. I wonder all the time, about how people are judging me - that I must be some really chill guy, who's got looks and because of looks he must have a high position and must be something amazing or something. People stereotype you, based on looks. I also never had strong social relationships. Child abuse makes it hard to trust people and my social skills are restricted to very basic levels. Do you think I'm a dateable person? I'm so different than a normal person and I feel like people expect so much from me because of the way I look, that I'm afraid to be rejected. I mean the higher someone thinks of you - the greater the fall when they realize that the person Isn't the person they beleived/hoped.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi. Late comment here. I can relate quite a bit to your situation.

    You pretty much listed all the negatives, apart from your looks. The thing women are attracted to above all is effectiveness.
    thematinggrounds.com/what-are-women-attracted-to/

    My current view of self-esteem is that it is the extent to which you yourself influence the world in the direction in which you want it to move.

    What I think is that you can use your resources (yes, you have them) in a way where you make the world more appealing to yourself. I. e. since you're good-looking, you could use that makes the world a better place (in your opinion). The same with your other resources.

    I personally find the following article to be valuable input in terms of self-help. You are an adult, but you feel lost. Can you be a good parent to yourself by setting limits, reasoning and responding to your emotional needs?
    www.parentingscience.com/...e-parenting-style.html

    Just my two cents. Take care :)

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • Id say you're an unlikely candidate for the dating world. Sounds like lack of confidence, depression, lack of trust, unreliable social skills, prone to complaining, poor body language, etc. None of these qualities are appealing.

    Women want a strong, reliable, confident, optimistic man with charm and the ability to make decisions; they want an extroverted, attractive, stud with appropriate body language. It doesn't sound like you advertise many of these qualities.

    The qualities which you list probably put you at the bottom 5% of the dating pool. But don't worry, im there too, so we're in it together.

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  • You are you just need to find a good hearted person people in this world are cruel but a good heart shines through

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  • Nobody thinks you are some high statues person unless you are looking like that while in a lambo

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  • yes of course you are totally dateable and nice person.

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