My friends and family made comments he isn't good enough for me, but I like him. Does it really matter?

I met this guy who I like but our lives are quite different. I studied science in university and I have a pretty good career that I worked hard for. I live in the city and I'll admit I'm a bit high maintenance. I am also fairly attractive I'm very active at the gym and sports - everyone always called me pretty growing up and I get hit on a lot by men and women but I tried to never let it get to me.
A month ago I met this guy and I really really like him. He's from a small town and only has a high school degree and he works in construction. (to be fair at least he has a job, the last few guys I've met don't even work). He isn't the cutest, and he doesn't work out or anything but I dont care for some reason Im really attracted to him. His lifestyle is so different than mine he sometimes dresses a bit nerdy lol but i find it endearing and i dont think these things matter
I didn't think about anything until my friends pointed all this out and told me I could do so much better. But honestly I've dated the hot guys and those relationships did nothing for me. they saw photos i posted of him and i on facebook and they started texting me really rude comments... one of my girlfriends even called him "ugly". I'm really hurt by what they say.. but then one of my girlfriends made a comment that got me thinking. she said I might be happy with him now but in the long run i won't be happy and that i'll start looking at other guys. especially because of his career.
what do you all think about this and has anyone else been in this situation?


1|0
4|8

Most Helpful Guy

  • man.. I don't read descriptions like that very often. You sound like a fuckin awesome woman. Good looking, smart, yet still humble and capable of loving a man regardless of bullshit materialistic elements or societal norms and pressure... That calls for respect.

    About your friends, I find them to be extremely rude but mostly very arrogant because since when did they ever found the official recipe for happiness? I'd like to see them in 10 - 20 years, fitting into the 70% of divorce, recomposed family and all that shit.

    My father drop out of high school but he opened his own company at 24 years old, and today he owns like 30 houses in Europe ... I have a college degree and have been studying for 6 years yet I am on the verge to follow my father's path in the end.

    So really, excuse my French but fuck your friends and their narrow minded views shaped by societal norms.

    I can only hope your guy realizes he will eventually need to step up his game. That's not only in your interest but in his. I think women's gift is their ability to summon in real men, their will to surpass themselves and "become a better man".

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thanks so much for your comments.. although it didn't really work out. I don't think he's interested in me anymore. But regardless I agree with everything you've said.

    • Your welcome.

What Guys Said 7

  • For your family it only matters if underage, hopefully they will come around after they get to know him and see how he treats you (hopefully really good :) )

    For your friends it is up to you. In my opinion it does not really matter what they think as you are the one dating him. Plus like others have said they should be less shallow about how the guy looks and be more worried about if he treats you well or not.

    1|0
    0|0
    • thanks.. and you are right.. but I dont think they care.. I was just hurt by their comments especially when my girlfriend said I wouldn't be happy in the long term

    • Show All
    • yeah that's a good idea! thanks for your comments.

    • You are welcome! Best of luck to you :D

  • u r 31... yer life yer rules ;)

    1|1
    0|0
  • If you like him, you should stay with him. Forget about what other people think. And your friends are saying "You could do better"? Sounds to me like you need to get less shallow friends.

    3|2
    0|0
  • Only when underage!

    0|0
    0|0
  • i;m moved by your story, and i like your character. how you listen to your heart and go beyond the societal norms and bias. if you really see the father of yuor children in him, listen to no siren and do what you heart tells you.

    1|1
    0|0
    • your friends sound like jealous bitches and they are the last people that you should base your future/happiness on. as for leaving him in the future because of his job i think you are not that shallow. dont make me regrett the good comments i've read in the firs half of your text... .

    • Show All
    • you are welcome. you seem a mature girl and know how to set real priorities. charactter>>>> what society perceives as attractive... .

    • thanks :)

  • I have a H. S. degree & work in the building trades. We get paid good money. Quite a bit of OT too. I found that more ladies like that because I can't bring my work home with me. A lot of guys have to work on projects, presentations, etc after hours. I'm done & 100% available when I get home. I have/had ZERO dollars in student loan debt. We do laugh at the people 60K in debt & make less money then us.
    I did work out BUT you can't expect all laborers/construction to have that much energy after a long day. We don't need 1K suits & dress casually. If you want him to dress like he just fell into the GAP I'm sure you can buy him some clothes that he'll wear because you bought them for him.
    You're 31 & listening to your friends? How's the advice your friends are giving you worked out so far?
    Who do you want to make happy? YOU or your friends?

    1|1
    0|0
    • I want to be happy.. I was ignoring all their comments at first.. but then when one of my friends said I wouldn't be happy in the long-term, that's the comment that actually got to me and made me wonder if she is right.. but I guess I just wanted to hear others agree with me and not agree with my friends

  • If both friends and family have said that, there must be a reason.

    0|0
    1|4
    • These people are dickheads. Friends can be jealous, can't do anything about that. But unless you come from a horrible spiteful family, they have your best interests at heart, if they don't like this guy there's gonna be a reason.

What Girls Said 4

  • It doesn't matter what your friends think, only that guy treats you well. :)

    You are just dating him right? You're not marrying him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yep for years friends and family members did that very thing. I'm with one. Even with the one I'm pregnant with right now. Our religions are different. I'm going to school to be a nurse. He business owner and farmer. I grew up as a rancher daughter. What do I tell them. It's my choice. Not theirs! I'm an adult I'll make my own decisions and mistakes. Live and let live.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Unfortunately I think your friends comment about in the long run is correct, but if you really are honest with yourself and it dosent bother you, and never will then it dosent matter what they think

    0|0
    1|3
  • dont worry about what they say at all.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...