Girls, Im average looking and really hot girls like me, why?

[Anonymous]

Okay so Im not ugly but Im not good looking I consider myself slightly below Average but for some reason hot girls like really got girls like me. Im not complaining but I would never date those girls because Id be wayy to insecure. I tend to go for normal cute girls but I wonder why hot girls sometimes try to pick me up or chat me at uni.

I always ppolitely reject them and usually become friends with then but why would a really gorgeous woman with a nice fit body want to. Be with an average looking guy?

Updates

+1 y

I dress , groom and smell good at all times tho that might be it

[love2run13]

Why would you feel insecure dating hot girls? lol you should for sure go out with some of them and if there is a connection it wouldn't matter :D Id say its cuz your cute and have a kind and fun personality and great hygiene, you just gotta work on your own self confidence. Looks are not everything, you need to be able to accept that you can deserve a good looking woman because of your personality and if she's interested she probably thinks your super attractive. Looks are very subjective. Go out with the pretty girls!!!

[V4lkyrie2]

You feel more comfortable going for average/cute girls... why wouldn't they feel more comfortable going for average/cute guys?

Women and men have the same insecurities, we just sometimes present them differently

[Asker]

I wouldn't be able to trust a really good looking girl even tho what you say makes a lor of sense

[V4lkyrie2]

Wow... that's really really shallow and tells me you need to do some work on your self-esteem.

Can't trust her because she's good looking. Quite obviously she is just going to run off and shag the next hot guy that comes along right. Just because a woman is hot it doesn't mean she's a whore!

Just a thought... if you lost your eyesight today, you wouldn't have the foggiest clue what the girls who were talking to you looked like until they allowed you to touch them. If you found yourself trusting someone who was "hot" would you turn around and walk away because of it?

[Asker]

I never said hot women are whores. Im pretty sure lots more guys wayy better looking than me will hit on her 24/7. At one point or another she will cave and wither leave me for one of those guys or cave. Just because she is female doesn't exclude her frombeing tempted. i do need to work or my self esteem yes

[V4lkyrie2]

The implication of your statement is that she couldn't possibly love you or want to be with you for anything other then your looks... while there are women out there who only date for looks or money, the majority of us do not.

I'm sorry you have such a low opinion of not only yourself, but also of women.

[Asker]

Experience I guess

[V4lkyrie2]

Maybe it's time for a new experience and for you to give the majority of women who aren't vain, petty, shallow attention seeking bitches a chance.

We get treated the way we do because we allow it. If you want a new experience look at yourself and what you're doing to attract those kind of people to you and stop doing it...

[Asker]

To be honest I dont know they seem nice enough at the beggining but at some point I find out they are banging a hotter dude behind my back , or just leave me for a better looking man. Thats where the hottie phobia stems from I guess. I can be friends and I treat girls fine. Im usually oblivious to flirting and I tend to figure it out after another female friend tells me "hey x is so into you haven't you noticed" im like "nope"

[V4lkyrie2]

Do you ever people watch? Most people are uncomfortable with public displays of affection, but it might do you some good to go and watch how people interact. Go somewhere very public, where there are LOTS of people during the day (so you don't look like some kind of bizarre stalker), like a park or the mall, and watch (don't stare) the people both men and women. If you see a man that looks confident to you, watch how he holds his posture - confident people tend to stand up more, they turn their bodies in more and make more eye contact (too much eye contact can be seen as aggressive). Watch the women around them: laughing, smiling, hair flicking, looking at them and looking away, touching their arm or hand... it's all flirting

Women tend to be attracted to confident men, that doesn't mean being an asshole. It means knowing, valuing and appreciating who you are as a person (has nothing to do with what you look like)

[Asker]

Well Im always oblivious and never notice this I have aspergers so that might have something to do with it but Id still won't date a hot girl... can't trusttht I dont know why

[V4lkyrie2]

Having aspergers doesn't prevent you from having normal social interactions. Both my x-husband and oldest son have it, and both of them have learned to cope and recognize social queues quite well. It isn't easy, you have to pay attention and learn what is and is not normal acceptable social behaviour, and attempt to see the gray areas rather then everything being black or white. If you live in North America there are classes and groups that can help you all over the place.

[Asker]

I dont live in north america sadly

[V4lkyrie2]

Aspergers is not some unknown, nameless, faceless thing. I'm pretty sure if you look where you live you'll be able to find something to help you. Do some people watching, learn what is normal spacial awareness through your own observations. Every mountain is climbed one step at a time, not with a giant leap.

Oh and most people with Aspergers are quite brilliant... Chances are you will attract A LOT of women with your intellect (using ones brain is sexy).

[Asker]

I do use my brain a lot and I like art :)

[V4lkyrie2]

Well there you go... go to an art gallery or museum and when you see someone standing there looking at something, just walk up, stand next to them for a minute and ask them what they think about it. If a productive conversation ensues, ask them if they want to go have a coffee to continue the conversation.

[Asker]

I can talk and make feriends with people fine I'm only clueless about flirting lol

[V4lkyrie2]

Then I would question your diagnosis. Aspergers doesn't effect one part of social interaction and not the other.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

There are a few possibilities.
1 you're insecure and actually more attractive than you think
2 your definition of "hot girls" is different than "a lot of guys" definition of hot girls so they "aren't as hot" as you think (this sounds horribly rude but you know what I mean)
3 they don't care about looks and your personality, etc. makes up for your supposed lack in the appearance department
4 they're insecure and so they lowered their standards

[DivaMonae]

You should let us be the judge of that. Often people don't give their self in enough credit and are way too hard on their self.

But besides that you might be a really nice guy/gentleman or bestow other qualities that we like.

[Asker]

Ill let them be the judge of my looks but I still will turn them down for a cute average girl I would never be with a girk That hot

[beautifulangel76]

Attraction has nothing to do with looks it's up to biology. Give it a chance maybe setting could come out of it. Don't let your insecurity get in the way of things. You should get out of your comfort zone and maybe that can help you.

[TheOptimisticFirefly]

Why would you reject a girl, this is probably just insecurity talking. Besides you might have a really awesome personality.

[Asker]

I might turn jealous since she looms better than me... I dont know if you understand

[TheOptimisticFirefly]

Oh okay I guess..

[Stacyzee]

Because not everyone cares about looks.

Also, they probably view you to be much better looking than you are giving yourself credit for.

[SpicedPumpkin]

You probably have a great personality. Also maybe you think you're below average but girls don't.

[Asker]

I guess dressing well at all times does help

[SpicedPumpkin]

Yeah it definitely can.

[dramaqueeeen]

Personality and the way you present yourself is a huge factor. Maybe that's what attracts them. :)
And what's there to be insecure about?

[Asker]

The fact that they might leave me for a better looking guy at any given moment

[dramaqueeeen]

Awh.. Then go for someone you think is worth it. :D

[GunnerGirl]

It's not always about looks, you know
Personality is important too

[Chick180]

You make it up in other ways? You reject them? What a fucktard.

[Asker]

Well I would think she would cheat on me or something. Maybr catch the attetion of a lot of other men.

[Asker]

Also in what other ways can a man make it up for being not so great looking?

[Chick180]

Personality? Maybe you're better looking then you think?

[Asker]

Hmm I don't know if Im better looking than I think but I do dress well all the time

[Chick180]

I bet you are. You're probably just hard on yourself.

[Asker]

Well I dont really know then

[Chick180]

Well stop, you're only hurting yourself.

[Asker]

I dont self pity or something like that its just that I always though I was that

[Chick180]

No, I can tell you're not the 'self pitying' type, I just think you should stop rejecting these beautiful girls for your reasoning.

[Asker]

Well I dont date them because if I dont feel secure I would probably turn into a jealous psycho since I would think they are gonna leave me for a pretty boy. I mean thats how I feel Id get thats why

[cinderelli]

be happy.. and enjoy the attention.. :)

[Asker]

I kinda enjoy it I just dont go along with it and usually reject them