25 and haven't dated... like ever. What am I doing wrong?

So here's the gist. I'm 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. I've done a few first dates with guys over the years but nothing beyond that. I can't say for sure why they "bowed" out after the first. But for me I haven't felt the spark with any of them. Or they were ignorant ass holes, one guy asked if I was a closeted lesbian because I am a auto body tech and like to do "guy" stuff. Anyway, I do find guys I like, but they unfortunately never feel the same- at least that's how it comes off. I get friend zoned often. I've tried the online dating thing and it seems pretty much pointless because I don't do random hookups. It's never been my thing. so now I need to figure how to put myself out there I guess in the real world. Like I said, I'm 25. Overweight, but working on it. I go to the gym 5+ times a week. I enjoy sports, reading, being outside and hanging out with friends. Obviously there is more to me then this post but I guess any advice I can get from people would be appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like it's a combination of both bad luck and not putting yourself out there. Bad luck in the sense that you don't feel a spark with the guys you go on dates with, and the ones you do really like end up liking you back. There's not really much you can do about that. And you said it yourself, you need to figure out how to put yourself out there. Being a bit more aggressive, not being afraid of showing more interest, not being afraid of initiating.
    However, you don't seem very sure about the fact that the guys you liked actually didn't like you back?
    "but they unfortunately never feel the same- at least that's how it comes off."
    This is why you need to be more forward. There should be no "what ifs". It's either yes or no, and you need to show enough interest and possibly even ask the guy out in order to get that yes or no out of it. Merely *thinking* that he's not interested in you is not good enough. What if he's shy? What if he thinks that YOU'RE not interested? There's a million and one reasons as to why a man might be hesitant when it comes to asking you out. So what you've got to do in that situation is ask HIM out. THEN you'll know for sure if he's interested or not.

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    • end up not liking you back*

    • Thanks I appreciate your comment. :) I have never asked the guys I've liked if they like me back. But since they tend to treat me like one of guys I get the feeling that's just what I am. I don't know how to show them " hey I like you " body language I guess. Haha

    • If you don't know how to show it, then just say it.

What Guys Said 3

  • u said overweight... if u don't mind, how much do u weigh? maybe it has 2 do wid it (no offence from my side)

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    • No worries. No offense taken. In February I weighed 255, now I weigh 210.

  • Well I'm 25 and haven't dated either but I think I'm still kind of young and immature. I mature really slowly compared to other people I didn't start drinking until I turned the legal age. I never went to parties before then either.

    I think my goal is to try to mature myself into an adult so I feel ready for women out there. I want to look my best but have to work within my natural limits so there's some self-acceptance that needs to be done s well

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  • Even i don't do random hookups... even i never dated and i am 23... LOL... show me your pic... wanna see how you look...

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What Girls Said 2

  • You sound like a lovely lady... i joined a bowling leaugue met a lot of cool friends and my boyfriend😊 u should join some kind of book club are the gym is a great place to meet hot guys u should definitely start enjoying yourself more going out places meeting new peeps and you will find ure special guy in no time good luck👍

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  • If you didn't feel a spark, then they're picking up on that I'm sure and feeling judged or pushed away. You might try being a little more open to developing that spark over the course of a few dates. If you are indeed looking for romance to develop with a guy, then it might help for you to work more on flirting more and showing your feminine side when you're talking to them. They're going to need to see you as a sexual being who is capable of and interested in being a girlfriend. You're an energetic, independent type woman it sounds like--that can be really hot, if you show that in a playful way and show the guy how he would be welcome to participate in that active lifestyle of yours.

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