Im bitter about the fact that my unattractive friends get boyfriends and I dont?

Ranting time! lol

So i can't help but feel sad or even angry sometimes when i see some people i know entering new relationships or dating people etc. As shallow as it sounds they aren't the best looking people. Disclaimer: im not saying i am more attractive, but im pretty cute.

I fee like i so much to offer.. I am:

- open when it comes to trying new thing, in addition to being sexually open (im open to try pretty much everything)
- I fit og and work out a lot, but i have curves (for those that care about stuff like that)
- I go to uni and i have a job and im comptelety independent
.- I enjoy sports
- Im an interesting and fun person and i have a lot to offer

I normally never bash other people, maybe once in a while (like any normal person), but not often and i nornally only mind my own business. But for example this a girl a know. Yeah, she is super sweet, but she is overweight and from what i have seen she is/was very depserate when it came to guys and she would bombard guys with messages and didn't hide at all that she was really into them ( even after just a week or so of meeting them). But now she has a boyfriend and is going on a dinner date tonight with him... and im sitting at home eating chrisps...

Its depressing... and i dont know what to do about it... i obviously doing someting wrong.. what to do? how to stop being so bitter about it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think guys are more approachable to girls who are more easygoing around them. You can have all the good qualities, but if a guy feels somewhat intimidated by you, or he thinks you don't want to start talking to him, then he probably wouldn't approach. I think guys usually approach to girls who have some form of easygoing, confident atmosphere. So when you see a guy you like, instead of looking away or pretending you don't notice him, make eye contact and smile. Let the guys know that you Want to talk to them through how you behave because if they know, they'll most likely want to talk to you as well.

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    • you are right! and i know what to do, but either chicken out or i totally forget in those situations lol but i guess my situation isn't goig to improve my sitting in my room ratning about it on GAG lol

    • lol yea :) usually even though its the guys you approach, both of them have to make some form of initiation that they want to talk to one another. So instead of worrying about your personality or looks, just smile at guys and if you're confident enough, talk to them. I'm also a very shy person, and I think it shows when I nervously talk to someone, but simply by doing something such as talking to a guy, it lets them know you're interested and then they'd want to approach and talk to you

    • guys *who approach

What Guys Said 12

  • Well, girls like confidence. And you need confidence when pursuing a girl.

    It may confuse you as to why your unattractive friends can get boyfriends and you can't. It's because guys approach them with confidence, because they're unattractive.

    Even though the guy thinks she's a attractive. He is aware of where she stands as far as her appeal to the general public. Which makes it easier for him to approach her because he sees her as at the lower end of what is seen as attractive.

    For girls that not only appeal to the guy, but to the general public as well, it's not easy for some guys to approach them with confidence. Because they are officially categorized as "attractive" in their minds.

    Does this make sense? For example, let's say I think a chubby girl is cute, I personally think she is, but I am aware that to the general public, she is just decent looking or possibly unattractive. Which, mentally, helps me approach her with confidence.

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    • makes sense! interesting...

  • "im not saying i am attractive, but im pretty cute"

    lmfao, that needs to be put on a t-shirt 😂

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    • im pretty awesome :)

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    • i belive she puts way more effort in meeting and dating guys then i do... i dont really do that... maybe thats my problem

    • ... Probably

  • i'm afraid this happens MAYBE coz u are jealous of em? it's wrong to feel jealous :)

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    • what happens?

    • u don't get bfs u said :/

    • that doesn't make any sense... i dont have a boyfriend because im jealous of my friend?

  • The type of guys that are popular among women already get a lot of female attention. If they're already getting attention from plenty of attractive girls they probably have no need to pursue you. Less attractive girls flirt with less attractive guys and those guys don't get as much attention, so they take those girls as their girlfriends. This is your problem.

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    • i never said it was anyone elses problem, Im the only one, in addition to my mother, that complains about me not having a boyfriend lol

    • I was just stating your problem, not admitting it.

    • oh okay

  • Well I think it's time to asses on why your friends get boyfriends.. Find out what made them get boyfriends, It's obviously more than their appearance. Also it's good idea to asses yourself. Think about the possibilities on why you aren't getting a boyfriend. List all the possibilities both positive and negative.. Acknowledging what you have and what you don't is the first step.

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    • actually only two of my friends have boyfriends.. anyway, i know that sometimes i can came of across as unaproachable.. if guys check me out or even smile i dont really smile back, because i normally dont get that they are looking or smiling at me before after it has happened.. And on top of that i dont really "put myself out there" partly becaue of lazyness, partly because i dont know how to do it

    • See? You're starting to say the possible reasons on why you aren't getting a boyfriend.. Now you have to decide on what you have to do about it.

    • I have always known these things, but i never know what to do about it.. So any advice?

  • Who says you're the pretty one of the group? You? Yay for confidence dude but guys are acting otherwise. Not gonna lie didn't read the whole thing. It was too much. I'm not saying you're not cute. I don't know. Haven't seen ya. But if they're getting hit in and you're not... maybe you're cute or pretty enough but maybe something else about you puts guys off...

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    • . I never said i was the cute one... we are a pretty diverse group looks wise, i dont look like any of my friends (im mixed and they are white) so in my eyes we can't really be compared to each other. Anyway, i'm pretty sure it's not my looks, i get checked out a lot and i know guys have had crushes on me etc... so i know its maybe my behaviour or maybe even body language that is either a turn off for guys or something that guys are intimidated about

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    • im not offened at all, lol. And when i meet people im very social, and i smile and laugh a lot.. and if i see a guy i like i normally ignor him.. lol Attractive guys makes me insecure and i guess i subconiously think that thety won't go for me, so by not giving them attention im "rejecting" them beofre thet can "reject" me if that maks sense... BUT im working on it.. and i dont really smile a lot, unless im talking to people, i think i have a resting bitch face. And it depends on what you mean about "obnoxious", im the shy, funny girl at jokes a lot about sex (but only with people i know).

    • That ignoring thing you do? Yeah that's not good. That my friend could very well be why they get guys and you don't. If you see a guy you like, say hi. Don't ignore him. The worst a guy can ever say is no. That's it. If he does, his loss. Fuck him. Move on to the next. But at least give him a chance to say hi and impress you. You never know what might happen 😉

  • Just be happy for her. You'll get one soon.

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    • ofc im happy for her, she has had bad luck with guy and he desveres it,

    • she desveres it*

  • Maybe you need to be more social and outgoing. Get some guy's attention.

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    • being more social? yeah, i really should be. outgoing? its not that easy. Getting a guys attention? where do i start?

    • Just randomly go up to guys and chat with them. Be flirty. Ask for a selfie or something. Just random, ya know?

  • Maybe her boyfriend is unattractive too.

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    • maybe... but it doesn't explain why i am in my situation

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    • maybe... i was really insecure until just recently.. so i haven't really "put myself out there"..

    • Well the day is still young good luck

  • Well, what do you plan to do? We can't force guys to come flocking to ya.

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    • i dont know... my first plan is to move.. i guess i'll take it from there..

  • Try posting a picture first

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    • because that will help my situation?

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    • How she thinks of herself is more important than how strangers think with just one picture so just let confidence be confidence.

    • In your opinion, tell that to hollywood, the vast majority of men judging her, society in general sexualizing woman's bodies, etc

  • Can we see how you look

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    • what would be the purpose og posting a pic? its not like you are planning to date me or anything

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    • well im not interested in you so whats the point?

    • Stop being cute

What Girls Said 4

  • You can't compare yourself to others in this situation. Some have good luck, some not so much. But it's only annoying when you find you become bitter and sad about it. If you have the money talking to someone helps. Psychologist might be a heavy word, but you also have coaches and what not who can help you see things differently and that will in turn make you happy (er). Also, I don't know you, but I don't think you're doing anything wrong other than comparing yourself and wondering if it's about deserving someone, because it's not. Relationships happen, or not. Like accidents, haha. Relationships also aren't about the looks/personality that you like, they're about the looks and personality that someone might like. And for instance your friend has found someone who likes hers and she happens to like his and BAM, relationship formed.
    So anyway, my point is, find someone to help you be happy with who you are on your own first. Because that is very attractive, and also then you're not dependent on someone else to bring you happiness. AND you'll be happy. So three for one! :D

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    • i guess you're right...

  • You talked about these 'unattractive' people getting guys. They made themselves known to them. Do you? Another introvert eh? The one that expects things to come to them by their cute or attractive appearances but does not do any talking to hint to the guy that she's interested? Correct me if I'm wrong.

    I have come to think jealous people are people who feel they don't have enough. They are unhappy. Would I, as a person want to deal with a person with a jealous vibe? NOOOOO

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    • well... i guess i do expect it to a degree... so yeah, thats pretty much me lol

      And like i said, i rarely bash or hate on anyone.. For the most part i dont give a shit and im happy for peope, so i doubt its a "jealous" vibe.. and im actually more envious or jealous of guys then girls

    • I said my part. I won't say anymore.

    • fair enough

  • Maybe your bitterness is seeping through and is detected by others.

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    • maybe...

    • So chin up, smile, and instead of being bitter, be happy for your friends... It will show up in you attitude and you'll be radiating positive vibes

  • After reading some of your comments sounds like maybe you have a bit of an attitude? Most guys don't go for that.

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    • what do you mean? how do i come across?

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