Confusions about the opposite sex?

So my biggest issue is figuring out how to understand guys i'm romantically interested in. I like to think of myself as a straightforward direct and attentive open minded person, but whenever I try to get close to a guy I particularly like with a direct approach I feel like there's always a wall up between me and the guy. Maybe i'm just being ridiculous and should expect to sense them being mentally closed off to me instead of open since they're usually mostly strangers to me. But it's always the thing that derails me and makes me second guess myself as well as wonder if i'm wasting my time. Like they aren't interested in me and would prefer me to go. I don't use a direct approach often it's only when I know I REALLY like the guy and want to get to know him. When I approach guys they are always open to give me their time and they are never rushed i'm usually the one to end the conversation since I never want to take up all their time. They also are very patient with me and make eye contact when they can and never avoid my eyes. In one situation of approaching a cute white washed hispanic guy I got mixed signals he'd always give me his time and attention and would come when I called but ignored me around his friends. When he'd make eye contact he'd practically stare into my eyes. Later he rejected me when I asked him directly about his interest in me after awhile of mixed messages. Then acted like a hurt puppy later when I wouldn't make eye contact with him and ignored him but he never approached me. It's usually because of situations like these that I feel like i'm better off pursueing girls since they're always open to me. If it helps any i'm a light skin black female 5'2 height 116 lbs have a hour glass body shape with a 23-24 inch waist a 32 D cup with a butt and have been complimented on my looks and asked if I modeled. In all my 19 years I have never been in a relationship and I'm sorta kissless I've only really kissed once a girl once and no boys.

Updates:
Any other opinions?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are not being ridiculous. Most people have a natural habit of guarding themselves from other people.

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    • so i'm just constantly choose guys that are closed off if that's true I might have to reevaluate myself O_O

What Guys Said 3

  • Sometimes being direct works and sometimes it does not. Do not worry too much about your measurements either. They do not appear to be helping you with the opposite sex.
    Also, are you openly Bi-sexual? (you mentioned kissing a girl). Are you openly physical with girls? This could throw guys off a little bit.

    It could also be a cultural thing. You mentioned that you were black for a reason. I am sure you have considered that maybe they do not want to be romantic with a black girl. That doesn't mean all the guys feel that way but the ones you have had encounters with may be.

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    • well I wouldn't call myself bisexual more like bi-curious but I haven't been open about it. But can you explain to me why these guys couldn't be direct with me back they could have shown disinterest verbally or physically but they never once ignored me they would always give me their time no matter what they were doing and always made eye contact. I always end up getting mixed signals.

  • when u say hate mystery?

    how do u define it?

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    • As in I have to guess what our thinking I've always assumed guys were direct and blunt people and if they didn't say whether they were interested than they would show it but it's hard when your getting mixed signals either way. Like if your not interested and would like me to go just tell me or at least show it

  • If you can confidently and clearly figure out what youw ant and be straight forward and express it to guys, that'll place you in the top 10% percentile of all women in my opinion.

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What Girls Said 2

  • go for girls then.

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  • just ignore the ones that give you mixed signals.

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