Wait, so am I a nice guy or a jerk?

Like, let's see, I'm shy around girls I don't really know or find attractive, tend to do favors for people (though lately it's not for rewards anymore, I do it because, well, why shouldn't I? And not just for girls), can get very depressed and/or bitter about my horrible luck with women (though that was also worse in the past, these days I mostly use it as a source of humor), and used to get very emotionally attached to girls I like, and, yes, I usually get/got friendzoned. However, I also brag a lot, am extremely vulgar, act very flirtatious, can be very wild, and went from being too emotionally invested to pretty much too emotionally detached (these days I don't much care about girls, even ones I like, at least not enough to waste time trying with them). I've also developed a sort of acerbic, sarcastic sense of humor. Basically, am I a stereotypical nice guy, a stereotypical jerk, or neither?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being nice would only lead to suffering but from what I've read you're leaning to the stereotypical jerk which is good just focus on yourself and flirt with women you get the chance to talk to eventhough you don't have feelings for them and don't do favors for people anymore basically don't be a pushover anymore goodluck

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    • The thing is, I don't want to be a jerk either. I don't do favors because I feel I have to or am too weak to say no, I just want to.

    • Just try it and test it out kinda how luke skywalker did when he used the dark-side to beat darth vader just give it a go for a month or two if you're around women like in class or something for those following months

What Girls Said 5

  • You sound like the pushover nice guy who got his bitterness the best of him and now feels remorse towards every girl. You see them everywhere on this site. Claiming that girls are shallow and only want money from guys. Don't become one of them please. You just take away every chance of having success with girls. Become the nice assertive guy.

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    • You didn't even read my post, did you? I'm not really bitter towards women, I was, for a time, but mostly got over it, I have girls I like and know there's always at least one girl I know I can hook up with, but, I digress. If I'm bitter towards anyone it's people in general, but that because they treat me like shit. And I don't think I ever once in this post made a disparaging comment towards women, it was more of a self examination than anything.

  • I think you're a nice guy that people tend to take advantage of!

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  • only you know that

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  • Sounds like you're a little bit of both.. you do nice things for people but if you like someone you don't care about them? Girls don't like that lol seems like a past relationship has made you feel this way maybe

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    • I've never had a girlfriend, and, I care about them, I just remain unattached and generally unemotional.

    • Well I honestly feel like most guys are like that... every guy I've ever talked to has claimed to like me SOOO much but end up just dropping off the face of the earth my guess is bc they like me just move on easily Bc theyre typical guys that don't cath literal feelings easily I wish I were like you honestly 😳

  • a bit of both. you have the potential to be a genuinely nice guy but you act like a bit of a jerk. just try to channel your positivity into something else for a while (i. e. not women) and take a break from it, not out of bitterness but out of rationality

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    • The thing is, I don't necessarily want to be a nice guy, at least not the weak pathetic kind (which I definitely feel I was in the past) nor do I want to be a total dick, I want to find the balance. While I don't like being bitter, it mostly draws from people treating me like shit most of the time, and is more of a social thing than relationship thing. On the downside I'm depressed and mistrustful, but, at least it fuels my wit.

    • thanks for the downvote, i cba to help you if you are gonna downvote lol

    • I didn't down vote...

What Guys Said 7

  • Not really sure mate. I am a bit like you though, as I have not have had much luck with women and as such I do feel resentment towards them at times. And I do have a bit of a sarcastic sense of humour, but with all that aside, I do try to treat people with respect and dignity. So I would say you and I would probably be in between being a nice guy and a jerk.

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    • Damn, then why can't I get a date, wouldn't that be the perfect balance? I do respect people, but I mess with them a lot, I know so, e girls I know may not date me because I act really wild, as in, you can get me to do stupid shit if I think it's funny, though that's because I've recently got out of a very deep depression and used to do stupid shit because I didn't care if I lived or died.

    • If I find the answer to your question I will let you know. But seriously, I think that you just need to be patient and be true to yourself. If you have a lot to offer in a relationship, then you will one day meet a girl who will recognise this. However, as it stands, there are a lot of damage women (men too I suspect) who are immature, rude, shallow, or all of the above. And besides you are only 18, you have plenty of time.

    • I'm 17, and, I'm trying to be myself now, more. To be honest, the girl I like now, we get along best when I am just myself, funny enough (though I'm lucky, I usually have at least one other girl I'm interested in).

  • Bragging and flirting are coverups for feeling inadequate. Being vulgar is a sign of anger.
    Get some counseling

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  • I think you're Mr nice guy

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  • Jerks get laid more. Sorry.

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  • Sounds familiar to me, we must be of the same kind.
    I assume that we are jerks.

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  • i say nice because you were friendzoned.

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    • Though not lately, these days I don't really hit on women, I don't think, I just flirt a lot with girls, whether I'm into them or they're friends... so, I don't view it as friendzoning, I do flirt with my female friends however... actually my friends in general... huh...

  • You're a very nice guy and you have depression and low self esteem.

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