Online dating profiles...

I met this guy online. I've been seeing him for 2.5 months now and I think things are good... his past and general outlook on life suggests he's not afraid of commitment, and right now he does all kinds of things that suggest he views us as more of a relationship than just 'dating.' But we haven't really talked about it. I'm not a fan of The Talk because it makes people so uncomfortable sometimes, and girls have a habit of bringing it up too soon, so I thought I'd wait for him to come to me on his own terms. Anyway, as much as things are implied, he still goes on the website we met on. I get emails in my normal inbox saying I have mail there, and I like to read them just for fun. I literally log on, read them, laugh (some of them are kinda funny) then log off. But sometimes if I look at his profile it'll say he's online, and he'll be online for much longer. I admit, sometimes I log on with my friend's profile and wait to see if he logs off, and he won't for quite a while. It implies he's doing searches and messaging other girls.

I'm not really sure what to do here. Like I said, I hate the whole idea of The Talk. I don't wanna come across as needy or whatever, but I want to know if he's going to get exclusive with me ever or if I should look for someone else who will. Guys - do you still see other girls for a while before you commit? If so, how long does it usually take you to decide? Should I be worried here or is it just a case of hanging around for another couple weeks? I just don't wanna end up hanging around for like 2-3 more months or something.

  • Talk to him - he probably will commit if you ask
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  • Talk to him - he's probably not going to commit and you need to know
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  • Don't talk to him - he'll commit in his own time, don't worry
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  • Other - please explain!
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What Guys Said 1

  • Woah woah woah, you've been seeing this guy for 2.5 months and you still don't know where you stand? You need to determine that immediately. If he is doing what you worry, then don't let him string you along any longer. In my experience guys may have more than one girl they start seeing initially at the same time simply because they aren't 100% sure on one girl, but that never goes beyond a couple weeks. If you want a relationship with him then have "the talk" with him. If he wants a relationship with you then he will be happy to have this conversation. The only way he won't be happy is if he wants to keep stringing you along and doesn't want a relationship. But better you know that now then down the road when he kicks you to the curb.

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    • I kind of thought that... but then I also think:

      1) he's kind of like me, he likes to be sure and maybe he's just taking his time. I could wait a little longer as long as it's not TOO much longer, if that's what he wants

      2) he also finds some stuff online funny like I do, maybe I'm being paranoid and he's doing what I was and not really looking? Or am I just being naive there?

      3) I'm afraid to initiate the commitment talk in case it comes across the wrong way

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    • 1) How much more do you need to know about someone after dating them for 2.5 months? You should have a pretty good idea about them, and while you may not be ready for marriage, you should certainly be able to make a simple commitment to have that person as your boyfriend/girlfriend.

      2) Perhaps, but the only way you are ever going to find out for sure is to ask him about it.

      3) What wrong way will it come across? It's been 2.5 months, I don't think your wrong for wanting some closure in...

    • ...knowing where you stand in your relationship.

      Honestly, talk to him about it and set things straight. How much longer do you want to go on worrying about this?

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