Is this a valid reason to be offended?

I've been talking to this girl since November very casually. We haven't actually been boyfriend and girlfriend we talk a lot and we have slept together several times. Now she indicated to me and we both kinda greed that our relationship would mostly just be friends with benefits type deal although within the last month or so I have developed feelings for her as we have been getting a tad closer. Now we had plans on Saturday and I was gonna take her on a picnic at this national park we had, she cancelled on me the morning of saying she had to go out with her parents. She messaged me later that day saying she'd be done by 9 and that she still wanted to see me, when I asked her what she wanted to do she said "i'm not really in the mood for fooling around or anything so just like coffee" I felt kinda offenced by her saying that as she's implying that all I want is sex even though as of late we've really been sort of more than that and have opened up a bit more. Now she is the one who usually insitgates all the sex talk and she's always talking about sex to me. I haven't texted her since then and she hasn't messaged me eihter, so do I have a right to feel offended by her implying that all i want is sex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nah I wouldn't be offended. She wasn't implying that all you want is sex. She probably said it because when people want to see someone at 9 o'clock you are not usually just going to hang out. It sounds like a booty call otherwise, and she probably didn't want you to think that's what you were possibly going to do.

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    • Which I get, however our interactions with each other in the past month or so should've been indicative by now that it's more than that. She comes to me about her problems, I talk to her everyday. Im there for her when she has issues or is feeling down. That's why I found it insulting cause I thought by now she'd see me as more than just a sex partner.

    • She probably just said in to make sure you knew. Even if she doesn't believe that that's all you're about. She probably didn't even realize what she said.

What Girls Said 5

  • No. At the beginning, you defined it as a friends with benefits relationship. Those are almost exclusively about sex. Since you haven't yet redefined the relationship, her thinking it's still only about sex is your fault.

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  • You have every reason to be offended. You clearly like her and she is just using you to get sex when she wants it. That is wrong, and nasty. Tell her how you feel and tell her how if she isn't going for to be in a relationship with you, or doesn't like you more then a friend, then tell her you shouldn't be having sex because well it's clearly bothering you that she's doing this and only wants to be friends.

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  • She may be defensive for a reason like maybe she's having a rough week or a few other guys she recently talked to or wet out with were bothering her about gettig physical so I wouldn't think much of it. It's good though that she is setting her boundaries with you and wants to let you know how far she is willing to go and what she wants.

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  • You do and you dont. She probably just believes that you are only her friend with benefits.. nothing else. Tell her that you have feelings and see how she acts. Tell her I don't only want sex, I actually care about you.

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  • well you are in a friend with benefits relationship with her

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, your relationship is friends with benefits, so it's logical that if you're gonna see each other, having sex is gonna come to mind, especially if it's at night.
    I don't it's a valid reason to be offended, I find pretty normal what she said.

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