I deeply care for someone 15 years older than me, just curious how others think of that, (details below, ask questions if needed)?

We have been talking every day almost all day for exactly one year now. we see eachother in secret multiple times a week. He treats me well. i never would've believed i'd be into someone this much older but it happened and i don't care because i'm mature for my age but also i want to know what others think (not that it will change my mind )


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Under 18 gives me a bit more pause for concern than I would normally have. I am fine with 15 year gaps in general... my concern here would depend on HOW under 18 you are, I suppose.

    The fact that everything is done in secret is a red flag. A big age gap isn't something you're going to go have a parade about, but making it all secret does add some questions about how he actually feels about it, and it makes it seem like even he himself thinks there is something wrong about it. If he didn't think it was wrong of him, he wouldn't have to hide it.

    If you are really into this guy, and he is really into you, then it shouldn't be a huge deal to wait until you are over 18 before taking things further. It may actually help each of you get some time to have that NRE rush fade, and see each other as you really will, because early in a relationship the chemicals in the brains make clarity of thought impossible. So it could help in a couple of ways. If it's "meant to be", going slowly and safely won't risk anything, and it will show how much it means to both of you.

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    • It's only secret to be careful because of legality concerns. i have two best friends i've told and he has people he has told (more than i've told). I won't say because there has already been speculation but i suppose it doesn't matter too much since this is anonymous post. I'm 17. we are being slow and i really appreciate your insight and answer :)

    • Well, if you're 17 then you are getting close to 18 anyway. It makes way more sense to wait it out and take your time... why risk anything bad happening? I think you are right to be taking it slow.

What Guys Said 6

  • Umm 2 years or 5 age gap if she's 18+ is okay but a 14yr old with an age gap 15+ is really creepy you're young and naive so you're easily manipulated so just stay with your age group because most likely he just wants to have sex with you and lets be honest a 29yr old in a serious relationship with a 15yr old come on lets be real

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    • i never said i was 14, or 15. older actually. haven't even had sex yet so to me it's not just about that.

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    • "Mature"for your age is never really true just watch yourself because a girl I knew was 17 with a 25yr old and just got used

    • I'm sorry for that girl you knew. i know i could be used. i'll be careful. i'm not someone easily used.

  • Nothing wrong with that. Love and attraction knows no concept of age.

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  • Are you making love? It sounds like an unusual relationship. How do you know this person?

    I have relationship with a sizable gap.

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  • Well the fact that the words under 18 are next to your annonymous picture tells me he's a guy doing something stupid

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    • we are extremely careful. i've told him numerous times i wouldn't be upset if he'd wanted to end things because i also agree it is sorta stupid but he swears it's worth it.

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    • Whats your age

    • i'm worried about mean speculation

  • doesn't really matter, follow your heart, wherever it may lead you,

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  • would it be weird reversed?

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    • i can't say since i'd be biased saying no, or a hypocrite saying yes.

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    • i wasn't avoiding conflict. i am honestly admitting i was wrong. i misinterpreted what you said earlier and got defensive and i shouldn't have. what would you prefer i say? " oh you're so stupid, you don't know me" and crap. that'd just be unnecessary and rude

    • i wasn't being a martyr or anything about it. i'mi a pretty straightforward person

What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think our opinion really matters... What does your parent (s) have to say about it?

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    • they don't know :/ believe it or not i'm like the always doing the right thing kid. 4.0, not a brat. do my chores etc.. he is my one "bad" thing and my parents wouldn't allow it so we are waiting a while before introducing it.

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    • oh. Im sorry for answering then haha. My bad. i hope that isn't me, i'm trying to be as careful as i can

    • Yeah I believe you I hope it turns out well. I know you've seen him several times but you never know a person can surprise you.

  • If he treats you right and makes you happy then go for it. I dont see a problem with big age gaps at all. You dont choose who you fall for so just go with it.

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    • thank you i feel the same. I don't see myself as the typical stupid teenage girl he means a lot to me.

    • Though just be careful because being under 18 you dont have the experience that most people do when it comes to relationships (not saying that I do by the way hahaha im hopeless) but for someone as young as you are, you are opening pandoras box and not a lot of people are going to be accepting of this relationship. So just be careful.

    • for me i thought this was the greatest thing ever and i was happy and falling in love and all that crap and then i hit a point after a few months and was like " wtf am i thinking, that's such bullshit how would i even know what i feel right now" changed my perspective and we've been golden ever since. but i agree i am open to lots of bad as well

  • I would be a hypocrite if I said,"That's so wrong. "
    I am talking to a guy 10 years older than me, and I'm about to turn 18.
    All that I can say is, be happy, and don't let him hurt you. You sound like a responsible girl. I know that because we're young, we know everything. . but we don't. Done think it's impossible for him to hurt you, that's how most people get hurt.

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    • I understand of course because i'm in the relationship i believe its safe and right and i now all i agree. i do think we are good together and that he wouldn't intentionally hurt me. but of course i could be wrong. i just think that could be anyone and isn't solely because he's older. Id say same you said to me " to be careful "

    • You've made a good point too, and thank you, I will be careful. :)

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