I have a bmw and my girlfriend pretty much ruined it (let her borrow for a week). I'm very mad at her and don't know what to do, should I end it?

I have a 2007 335XI coupe and it's lowered. So she did tell me that she scratched the door a little bit and send me pictures and it wasn't that big of a deal so i told her it was ok. When i got it back from her, my whole front end was scratchd under the car and and also she told me it was dripping oil so i was like for how long? she said 3 days, then i said "ummm please tell me you did not drive it for 3 days", and she was like "yeah i did why?" At this point i lost it and said some rude things to her and explained to her with anger why you should not drive a car when it's dripping a lot of oil.

I made her cry and i wans't too happy about that and also about the nasty things i said to her. Now she is scared to talk to me cause when i was mad i walked closer to her and she was like "please don't hit". I would never ever hit a girl and I don't know why she thinks that.

What can i do now? She agreed to pay the damages but I don't know, i kinda lost my love for her but at the same time i still care about her, it;s hard to express. I don't know what would you do? OH AND also when she was scared about the hiting thing could she of been abused in her life?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She agreed to pay the damages, so you need to cool your fuckin' jets. If you break up with her over this then you need some serious counselling.

    You didn't lose your love for her, you're just angry at the situation right now. Take a couple hours / days, stew through your emotions, and then calmly talk with her and explain to her with a level-head why it upset you.

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    • i did text her sorry for yelling cause i soon realized she was nice eneough to pay for the damages. She will not text me back and i want to sit and talk with her, cause when she said "don't hit me", i got worried she was abused or something and i don't want her to be scared of me you know. Yes i did yell and said bad things to her but i want to express that i was wrong in doing so and i want to talk with her, that is it.

    • Well, you're dating her, so you know where she lives. Go knock on her door when you know she'll be home and ask her if she has a few minutes to sit down and talk.

    • When she comes back form work at 8 i will do that. Even if she's tired i will tell her that i want to have short chat and then i will talk more tomorrow. Thanks for the help.

What Girls Said 4

  • JUDGE JUDY TIME encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images
    You'll be looking forward to this charmer...

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    • Psst, doesn't necessarily mean you should end it, unless she doesn't apologize about your car, because those things cost money.
      Its like choosing your car over your girlfriend if you end it, everyone makes mistakes hun.

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    • She probably was a victim to domestic abuse, 1/4 women will be a victim to a form of domestic abuse anyways, isn't that sad?
      She did apologize and she cried, I think she's very sorry, you shouldn't end the relationship. I mean, God knows how many horrible mistakes i've made...

    • The more i think about it, i do not want to. I do however want to talk to her about this and maybe she did get abused because she did tell me that her and her dad don't get along at all and also her mom don't get along with her dad at all good.

  • She could have been abused in her life or you were just that scary. But really you would break up what I am assuming is a good relationship over a car? She's paying for the damages what do you have to worry about? She is also very apologetic. Like wow an inanimate object over a person? O_O If you were in a predicament where you had to choose to save your car or your girl would you pick the car? Cause that's what this question sounds like to me.

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    • I will talk with her tonight and i would always choose my girl over my car, i love her more than my car. I was initially mad so i'm going to get her flowers and chocolates and have a talk with her.

  • Seems like she has no respect for your car. Women need to understand a vehicle to a man is its pride and joy. When they damage it, they also need to understand they will get upset. ( I would be too if it were mine) She should have brought it back to you right away and apologized. It was her that handled it all wrong. Don't feel bad. Especially if you would never hurt her. Don't know if she was abused before. Its a respect thing.

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    • sadly some girls don't understand how much cars mean to us guys. But i mean i love my girlfriend and i want to talk to her but she's scared to talk i think and won't reply back

  • Well I mean its your car, you should be mad. But if your to into your car than over your girl. Maybe you should end it?

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    • I don't know i'm feeling kinda bad for her now because i said nasty things and made her cry. She also said "don't hurt me", so i'm scared she might of got abused, i will try and talk tonight to her and go to her houise.

    • Take her some flowers or something...

    • oh yeah i will forsure, i know what she likes. I'm thinking of getting her a card but I don't know is that too corny or no? Or do girls like that? I never actually given her a car or letter so I don't know

What Guys Said 4

  • Dude barely any girls know things about cars, so you can't really be that mad with her over the fact she drove the car when it was dripping oil. Next, it's a fucking 2007 BMW, not trying to be a dick but you're acting as if it was a 2015 M3. So you're telling us that some material position that you use to transport you to destinations is more important than your girlfriend? You obviously have problems with priorities if this is the case.

    She's paying for the damages and you're still mad? Honestly you need some help with anger management.

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    • I will talk with her tonight and i would always choose my girl over my car, i love her more than my car. I was initially mad so i'm going to get her flowers and chocolates and have a talk with her.

  • First question: why would you lower it?
    Second question: why would you let someone, who I assume has no experience with driving lowered vehicles (?), drive it?

    I'd be pissed too if I was you but then again I probably wouldn't have handed over the keys in the first place.

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    • just so it can look cool basically. She's my girlfriend and i let her drive it in the past and i told her to avoid railroads and bumps.

  • damage under front end, sounds like she grounded the sump... yeah i would not be impressed either. she should've phoned you not let you find it

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    • It's some in the front but A LOT from the driver side, does that mean a oil gasket got wrecked? A lot came out form the driver side

    • from your description look underneath and see if she has hit the underside of the engine/gearbox/sump, especially as it is lowered. I do get that could be an accident on a low kerb/traffic hump but driving it knowing it was suddenly dropping oil is nuts.. she could've totalled the engine so i get your anger. No thought at all from her side.

    • why would a awd car be lowered?

  • wow you're a jerk.

    it's a car. it's an inanimate object.

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    • She could of caused damage to the engine man, i still care about her but she won't let me talk, what can i do to talk to her? i won't yell and i texted her sorry many times.

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    • shit happens dude. the issue is that you're acting as if she did this on purpose. the truth is it could have been you yourself as well.

    • you couldve chosen to drive a normal car like anyone else your age that also can't afford such things

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