Am I just being paranoid and overthinking this?

Me and my guy usually talk on the phone every night for a few hours and usually have phone sex. Well, tonight I texted him after not hearing from him all evening and asked if he wanted to and while normally I get a "Hell Yeah!" response from him, tonight I got this "No, I'm just going to go to bed. I'm turning my phone off. Night." He's never turns his phone off at night. Now, I understand if he's tired but he would have said that. Also, today his ex-girlfriends birthday and he's been hanging out with her lately. Am I being paranoid in thinking he's with her or could I be right? I don't want to seem like a possessive crazy girlfriend, but I can't help wondering what if.

Updates:
I haven't heard from him all day, and I would have by now. I even texted him just once and didn't get a response. Any insights?

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What Guys Said 2

  • There are quite a few issues on this topic. First, having phone sex is cool, but it kinda has a limit. If you're having phone sex, you're just wasting your energies; think about it, because of what you might say, he will feel motivation for self pleasure, and this means that he will end up coming. That's lots of energy, it really gets you tired, and even more when you have had a tough day. Second, besides him being tired, also, he might be into something else. He is hanging out with his ex girlfriend, what's up with that. Everybody knows that if two persons that have had something in the past, they will do something while hanging out or if they're together. I would recommend you to prohibit him from hanging out with her. This is not being possessive, it's just a request for respect. If he does not stop hanging out with her, that means that he is not giving you your place, or respect on front of other people. People knows what happens in this kinds of situations, so they will talk about you. I think that you're not being paranoid, you are right, this is not normal, so you should try to do something about it. Hope it helped, good luck.

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  • i think it's totally understandable that you're worried considering the fact that he's been hanging out with his ex lately coupled with his response tonight. don't do anything drastic quite yet, but now's the time to start keeping your eye out for any other red flags that shows that he may be messing around on you

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    • I've never had a boyfriend before, so what other signs should I look for?

    • Just the common types of things..like if he starts getting really close to his ex again or you start catching him in lies often. basically if you're starting to notice a sudden change in his behavior it's probably worth questioning

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