Guys, I've been "dating" a 36 yr guy for 2mos. Suddenly he wants to slow down. What's up? Read details for whole story?



We've been friends for 2.5 years. Admitted we had an attraction last summer. He had just gotten back from Afghanistan and also lost about 70lbs. I've always like him, even when he was heavier. When we finally admitted our attraction, I was in was in the middle of a break up. Started dating 2 mos ago. He hasn't had a girlfriend or sex for over 2yrs before me. He's said he's the guy who is friends with all the girls but no one wants to be his girlfriend until me. He joked he has a face for radio, lol. I'm crazy about him. He's awesome. I've met his parents and family. They are all excited about us. Went to NYC for Memorial Day weekend. Had a blast! Now he's become withdrawn and said we need to slow down and he's cursed w/ women. Says he's still into me but doesn't know if he's scared or what. He wants to keep dating and he does like me but he's messed up and isn't ready to call me his girlfriend. He also said I'd have to fight to keep him out of my life but he needs a break. What should I do or say? I'll be heartbroken if this falls apart. I don't want to pressure him or be that crazy woman. Help!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well he may possibly be another douchebag from the army, but it also may be he's fucked up from the war and doesn't feel like he can handle a relationship yet. Just talk it through with him and be reasonable. Find out exactly which things is he insecure about and how you can help.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I'm going to give you honesty, not a bunch of sappy boo woos. The key in this whole paragraph is: He isn't ready to call you his g/f (you asked I'm assuming?). At this time he isn't committed to you, he's waiting for something better to possibly come around. Another thing is that you have to love in a way that the other person feels free. Let him feel how it is without you and create an non needy attitude in your demeanor.

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  • How does it feel to be a cougar?

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  • Sounds like he's still looking around for something better. Just going of his age, he can still land a girl in her twenties. You said he lost weight, so he must be with a new confidence boost that makes settling for you seem premature.
    But he still wants to fuck.

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  • Hmm
    I don't know. He could have conflicting feelings for another. Men or women, this is a common response people give when they still want to play the field... I could be totally wrong though.

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  • Sounds like he has low self esteem/confidence. I guess reassure him that you have feelings for him

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  • saw that the defence was too tight and decided to change the offence.

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  • You don't suck his dick enough obviously.

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