I have always been a monogamous dater. I want to find one woman to share my time and explore the possibilities in a relationship and a second woman would simply distract me from the first, resulting in unfairness to all involved.
I was recently dating a lady for about two months and we broke up. l returned to Plenty of Fish and contacted a few interesting prospects. Within 3-4 days, I had 4 women who wanted to meet me. I have never had that kind of response before and I was surprised.
I had a first date with B. last Friday night and it was an excellent first date. We discovered some common history and we have many mutual friends and acquaintances, plus we have the same quirky sense of humor. We have a second date tomorrow night. I have a first date with M. tonight who broke up her last relationship about a year ago around the same time she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We have spent several hours on the telephone and the conversation has flowed very smoothly but I am a bit concerned that she is holding on to anger about previous relationships. I have a lunch date with F. next Wednesday; she descibes herself as a traditional Southerner, conservative, intellectual, and having interests similar to mine. I also had a response from L., a woman whose attitudes about what she wants from a relationship are consistent with mine. She is going out of town for two weeks but wants to meet when she returns.
Obviously, I want to pick the one with whom I am most compatible, and that requires getting to know each of them. I have two questions:
1. How many dates can I have with these women before I am in danger of being called a serial dater?
2. Shoud I tell each of these women that I am meeting other women for initial face-to-face meet and greets?
Thanks for your input.
- One date each; DON'T tell any of them about the others0% (0)44% (4)22% (4)Vote
- One date each; DO tell each of them about the others0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
- Two dates each; DON'T tell any of them about the others11% (1)0% (0)6% (1)Vote
- Two dates each; DO tell each of them about the others0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
- Three dates each; DON'T tell any of them about the others0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
- Three dates each; DO tell each of them about the others11% (1)0% (0)6% (1)Vote
- No set number of dates; just stop when you feel that one is more special than the others78% (7)56% (5)66% (12)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
- Don't tell unless they ask, but don't give any indication you're only seeing them. Assume they are also dating other men.
- You don't need three dates with all four. My guess is at least half after one date you won't really be feeling it. You may find you do four first dates, two second, one third, and either its a go or you're back to looking for another 4-5 first dates.
- My guess is by three dates, you know if you want to -try- being a couple. If you're on the fence, it's probably a no. But that's not a hard rule, just a rough timeline. Maybe you know in two, maybe you need a fourth, but if you're dating two for months trying to pick, you're not -really- dating them so you're not really learning more. To some extent you need to get into a relationship and see how things go, because it will be different. You just need to be willing to get OUT if its not working and return to the dating pool.0