Should I settle down with this guy or should I wait for a better guy?

Hey guys and girls,

I had a few dates with a nice guy and it seems to be going in a good direction. He is a nice guy and a gentlemen. He is intelligent, nice to talk to, ambitious and hard working and he has the same cultural background as me. It would be a good match. But on the other hand, I simply haven't developed any feelings for him. On a rational level I see all his advantages, but I am not in love with him. What should I do now? I have a few options:

A) Simply entering a commited relationship with him and hoping that feelings will come.
B) Taking it real slow, getting to know him and deciding what to do in a few months.
C) Cutting down on contact, getting rid of him and waiting for a man I love.

I am really frustrated and don't know how to go on with this issue. What do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being in love is nothing when you decide for a long term commitment, possibly marriage. Love eventually fades away, even if it's really strong. So, if you think you can stand living with him for the rest of your life, if you think you can trust him with something noone else but your committed partner can provide just commit to him. Movies have injected the idea of love and marriage is supposed to coexist when it is neither practical nor better in any way. Just get over it, think about all the "love"s you've had in your life and how they'd faded away.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It is as if you have a prime filet mignon on your plate, and you are complaining because there is no sizzle.
    There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. The first is deep and enduring, the second shallow and fleeting. The is a fine wine, the second instant coffee. This is rom-com heresy, I know, but we deserve higher standards.
    If you seriously can't get past instant coffee, you still have 2 choices
    - if you care in any way for this poor guy, dump him. Now. It is not 'all about me' though it is, sadly, the ethos of the times. Keeping him around, hanging on a string until you decide what you want, is shallow, selfish, and cruel.
    - marry him for comfort and security, and sign up with Ashley Madison for your sizzle.

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  • Honest I would go with either B or C. I would go with B though. If you do not develop feelings then I would say end it because an unequal relationship will not last forever

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    • yes, agreed

    • Thanks! Plus it is not fair to either of you if you commit to a relationship without the feelings. You will always be looking and he will be loving and caring towards you.

  • I think it's important to have feelings because you can always remember having them when the relationship gets rough so I say either B or C but probably C.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you are not feeling any love sparks now then it will only get duller as you continue things with him into a serious relationship i think :/ maybe B, take it slow and try to figure out why you are feeling this way cuz more than likely you have not found the right guy then. There is usually a "he's the one" or "she's the one" feeling that comes along with being in love so i would personally wait for the guy that drives me crazy and who i can't get enough of. Dont settle down for a guy you are not 100% into.

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  • wait for a better one.

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