A snarky, hipster-douchebag relationship-genie has offered to grant you two wishes (because three wishes is mainstream)?

The wishes can only be intended to help you get along with your SO, or the opposite sex in general, and *CAN ONLY *DIRECTLY* AFFECT YOU.

***by the way, if you ask for something too cliche or mainstream, he'll turn you into a Barbie/Ken doll...***

O! And you can't wish for more wishes, or else he'll turn you into a hotdog!!)

  • I wish my dick- *poof* "o wow, how. o even gonna pee?
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  • I wish my boobs- *smote* "he took the entire outer vulva... how. *I* gonna pee?"
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  • I wish that my waistline- *kaflooey* "my underwear feel funny..."
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  • Other (good boy/girl)
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd wish for a Pegasus and some fries

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    • You know... that probably really *would* help...
      *throws in an unkempt beard and a smoking jacket to show that hipster-douchebag-relationship-genie is pleased*

What Girls Said 3

  • I wish that I never got fat and stayed at what I considered the perfect weight.
    I wish I would stay young forever.

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  • I'm confused by your poll options...

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    • The first three represent mainstream/cliche/obvious answers that displeased hipster-douchebag-relationship-genie, and thusly end badly for the wisher. (Pick "other" and be creative 😄)

  • I would wish to find someone who gently pushes me outside my comfort zone and knows how to help me when I'm feeling over exerted.

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    • Hipster-douchebag-genie grants you a sixth sense for guys who would gently push you out of your comfort zone, and also throws in an Arcade Fire t-shirt*

What Guys Said 3

  • I wish my crush would ask me out weekly or bi weekly for a while.
    I wish we would end up getting married.

    Why not.

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    • "can only be used to directly affect *you*"

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    • Ya? Well you smell like cabbage!

    • Wow OP you're so quirky and funny...

  • I could do it in one wish. "I wish the entire male population died off besides myself".

    We would get along quite nicely 😉

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    • "can only be used to directly affect *you*"

    • *hotdogged*

  • my first wish? i wish i can grant my own wishes. my second wish? i wish for you to not be able to grant wishes because i want to be the only one with this power now.

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