How do you know when you love someone?

I thought I met my first love awhile ago. Now I'm with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I'm just thinking to myself, "what I had before wasn't love. Just strong liking." How do you know when it's love? How do you define love? I define it as a strong connection with someone that never fades away.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I knew it because it had never happened before, I spent years never forming strong connections with men. And then he came along and I wanted nothing more than him. And I formed a bond with him that hasn't faded. It's changed, but I still feel like our stories will always be connected.

    In essence it's the bond. I feel like a part of me is forever with him and there's a click when you love someone and in a way they become a part of you.

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What Girls Said 51

  • Love is kind of difficult to define. Especially with how people use it now a days. When you're in middle school and a cute boy or girl flirts with you, and you like them, you think wow they're so perfect I love them! But when you get older and mature and really start looking at people's character, sometimes you fall in love and you say, "Wow they're so perfect, I love them." There is a major difference here though. For instance, you can be with a good person, who shows affection for you and you feel affection for them. But, when you love someone, there's a pull. Like a rope tied to you both. You think about them a lot, and you feel this strong connection like a magnet. You can't explain the feeling, but you just know you have to be with them. let's say this girl's name is Elle. There's something different about Elle, something that separates her from all the rest. Maybe you know what it is, maybe you don't. But you know you have to have her, because there is no other Elle. Maybe there are other people similar to her, but there is no other Elle. When you think about her, your heart feels like a feather. Maybe your chest feels heavy with a longing need for her. You can imagine living every single day with her. Waking up to her, kissing her a bunch every day, getting ready with her, coming home to her, going to sleep with her, getting married one day, maybe having kids one day. When you're apart, you miss her, like crazy.

    Now let's say your ex's name was Lee. You were deeply infatuated with her. Maybe you thought about her a lot and you got a warm fuzzy feeling. But did you feel that pull, that magnetic connection with Lee? Could you see yourself having kids with her? Marrying her? Did she make you want to be a better man? Did you feel a need for her? If no to these questions, you probably were just deeply infatuated. If yes, then maybe you did love her too. You can fall in love with a lot of people. But there is only one true love. And it seems like you've found this with "Elle".

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  • Its this sweet feeling in ur heart. When u already know this person's qualities and flaws but love him all for who he is. When u can't stay angry too long because it hurts you more than whatever it is that made u angry with him in the 1st place. When u feel so calm and safe around this person. When u trust this person almost implicitly. When u just know that u could find someone else, probably, if u wanted to, but just can't nd dont want to imagine urself loving anyone else. When there is respect and open communication nd u feel safe being as honest as u can. When u miss this person almost all the time. When u sometimes even cry just because u miss the person so much. When this person makes u cry of happiness, when u feel just blessed for having them. U know it is right because it feels like the most natural thing in the world: safe and loving.

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  • Love is a funny word. I think love is something that is overly played out. I love my boyfriend, we've been together almost 8 years. he loves me. But if you knew what we've done to each other in those 8 years you would think we didn't love each other at all. In the beginning he was all i thought about, all I wanted, he was my everything. Now he's still all those things, just not so intense. Does that mean I don't love him as much? I don't think so. We would do anything for each other, and we still do. We wake up next to each other every morning, kiss each other goodbye, say our I love you's and go about our day. We don't text every day, we see each other maybe and hour a day because of our schedules, but it has no strain on us. So I guess love is when you are comfortable enough to go those long stretches of not seeing each other, not talking, and not really interacting... But still knowing at the end of the day that you are loved by one another because of the simple things. He buys me flowers every once in a while, sends me funny pics on FB, stuff like that to let me know he thinks of me.

    Now, as far as being able to love more than one person. It is very possible. I fell in love with another man a few years ago while I was still in high school. I was head over heels for this guy. I even broke up with my boyfriend to be with him. We lasted all of one month, and I was heart broken. I went back to my boyfriend, and hated that I did what I did. I still loved the other man. I still do. But at some point you realize that the one who is truly there for you is where your heart should be. I am so happy that everything worked out for us. I wouldn't trade anything that has happened between us because it only made our love stronger. And before you go judging me, he was never perfect either, he has done some pretty messed up things, much worse then I just told you. But it doesn't matter. If you can forgive and forget then there's something truly special there, and we have. We are completely and utterly confident and content with each other. we are in love, and we will always love each other. Even if we don't work out in the long run, we will ALWAYS love each other. When you love someone there is no doubt in your feelings for them. So you can't trivialize your feelings for one person simply because you love a new person. It's completely possible to love one person while having feelings for another. We're only human.

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  • I define love as when you'd sacrifice yourself for someone else just because you wouldn't make it without them. I know I'm probably too young to understand what true love is, but either way id sacrifice myself for my boyfriend and he'd sacrifice himself for me.

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  • Love for me is honesty, respect. You want to do anything for him/her. You cannot stay mad at him/her for long. You feel confident, you can do whatever you like whenever you're with this someone, you can say anything. And mostly you just feel it. You cannot imagine a future without the person and the idea of no longer be with him/her is devastating. You would know that you can never live a life without him/her. You just cannot pass a day without talking...

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  • You know you love someone when they're all you think about and when they're always the topic of conversation with you. You can't spend a day without being with them and when you are without them, you feel empty inside. Love is when you don't even have to say it its just there. You can feel it. Love is when you'd do anything just to see them with a smile on their face. When they're happy it makes you happy.

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  • Well love in itself is hard to define. The way I look at it is when you picture all your dreams coming true who is with you in that picture is the person you love... a summing you have met that person

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  • when your gut is calm and everything inside just feels right. there's many kinds of love as stated below. First loves, lasting loves, volatile loves, the list goes on. Just make sure it's beneficial to both parties and balanced. Your gut will know it.

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  • i dont think that just bc you love your current girlfriend and want to marry her that means you didn't love your other girlfriend. you can love many people and in many ways in many strengths. having loved before doesn't make this love less important but its not necessary to down play your past to honor your present.

    if you thought you loved her then, then you did. you may or may not now. but in my opinion if you think you're in love you are and there's no reason to worry you might be wrong.. especially when you're past trying to sort out if you should be with the person. you've broken up. is safe to think you loved her ;p

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  • I would not myself, define love as something that never fades away. I think love can be many things, And i think, that when you love someone, that love can edure almost anything. But i do believe that true love can turn into something else over time.
    I believe that even though you break up, that love you once had, will always be love.
    True love for me, is loving someone so much, you are willing to do almost anything for that person. When you are willing to give them everything, without expecting anything in return.

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  • It's love when you'd bawl your eyes out when they suddenly were to die in an accident. Not just feeling sad, shading a tear or two, but going through the motions and crying whenever or wherever you feel safe to cry for a period of time.

    Love isn't just something you feel for the person who shares your bed, but also other people in your life you have other forms of relationship with.

    Love can disappear too. I don't think people who are divorcing after 20 years of marriage have never loved each other at all.

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  • When you can be yourself around the other and don't feel the need to always be funny or do something interesting but you can both just sit in silence together.

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  • When I don't care what they look like. I just love them for them and I want them in my life.

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    • Really? Me and my girlfriend just split she said loves me we have a strong emotional connection but not in love with me because of my looks, said she likes guys with huge muscles... I'm in love w her but letting her go so she can go find that guy all she has to do is go to the gym...

  • I don't know how to describe it but I think it's when you want the best for them even if it hurts you. Or also in my case when you're more hurt by the thought of their pain in trying to get over you than you are by your own hurt. And just when you want to spend time with them and never get tired of them and they're the person you want to share things with.

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  • When I think about him all day, when I want him to be around more often, when I dream of kissing and making love to him.. <3

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    • YesYes I agree as long as you know the difference between just sex and making love. Difference :)

    • thats just obsession.

  • I'm in love with you if I dont mind taking a bullet for you or if I would "consider" breaking removing my chasity belt for you

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  • you just know it

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  • When you look out to the ocean and the first person that comes to your mind is the person you're in love with. Or when you're always thinking about that person. Orr.. when you get a text from someone and you're like ''meh, ok'' and when you get a text from someone you love you're like ''wuhuuuuu woahhh OMG YEEEEESSSS''

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  • When you have that moment where you are just having a good time and you stare at each others eyes and you get that feeling inside

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  • Yep I do too

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  • Put you name in place of love/it and then put her name in place of love/it. If you fell you both can live up to these exspectation then your ready for the alter.

    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

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  • I don't know, honestly. I can't really describe it. It's just... love. You'll know it when it's there.

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  • When you some see anyone around when she's there
    When you could do almost everything for her
    When your hearts pumping faster than usual when you sees her
    When she's the first and last thing on your mind
    When you just want her to be happy

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    • Wow.. Great ans.. Thank u.. U r just 13 & how u could define it? Amazing...
      God bless u. :)

    • I'm soon gonna be 14 tho. xD. I could define it because even at such young age, I have fallenin love many times and once I fall in love, it's very hard for me to be out of love. Welcome though. God bless you too. :)

  • There's no words that can describe it, its a feeling that you would know , no one else would understand really, its a personal feeling :)

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  • You have this intense feeling that she is a part of you..

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  • When you really smile when thinking of growing old with them... you might be in love.

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  • You think about them all the time. You'd rather be awake, then asleep, because your real life is better than a dream. You want what is best for them always

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  • People have told me that 'you just know it'

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  • I think it's love when you can't imagine having a future with someone else, or without that person being a part of it.

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  • You feel it.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 30

  • It seems that many talk about the romantic type of love. Which is pretty much based on desire and need. It's also not uncommon that people want to claim some type of ownership of the one they claim to love. The romantic love is a bunch of emotions directed at another person and when received in return, everything is fine and lovely. When these feelings aren't returned, things can turn dark really fast.

    It's highly conditional.
    This type of love never wants to let go.
    It needs to be reciprocal and it can end.

    - Keywords: Attraction, lust and desire.

    What I consider to be the "real" kind of love is the unconditional love. This can of course never be demanded from somebody else, only offered from you.

    It has its basis in freedom and understanding and is more of a state of being rather than just emotion. I would perhaps describe it more like a "mature" kind of love where things like responsibility takes precedence over your own personal needs. The well being of others become more important than feeding the sometimes petty ego. Obviously ones own needs shouldn't be ignored. This type of love will always let go if it's for the better.

    It does NOT need to be reciprocal and it can never end since it has no conditions for it to do so.

    - Keywords: Stillness, clarity and freedom.

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  • here's a simple answer. You don't. But you will know that you love someone when hanging with them is the free-est thing ever. To quote @vicster_6 (whom i just fell in love with, i like intelligent girls) "When you can be yourself around the other and don't feel the need to always be funny or do something interesting"
    If you can be yourself, and the person accepts you that way or probably even joins you, then my brother you are in love. Love and IN love are two different things. When you love, you know you do, when you are IN love, you may notice, but you are in it already, it will take a while to click.

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  • Mateeee, I dunno how you explain it... its that, she's that ONE person who no matter what, you see no future without. She's that ONE person you know if she does something wrong you can see past it becase without her there is no you... You'll know because she'll become you everything and you'll wake up one morning and you'll have the biggest smile on your face because as your first thought is of her, you thinking up a perfect morning message to send her because thats just what she makes you... PERFECT!

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  • I guess I don't think of it as something you can only have once, so I don't believe in one true love or someone being meant for you. I do think love can still work though, with a very very small amount of people that we meet. I loved someone as well, we lived together and had plans and such, that fell apart though. I haven't loved again yet, but I know the feeling.

    I can still remember the moment I had when I first realized I loved her. It was that I just wanted to make her life the best as possible, I would die for her and she made me feel like a better me, and want to become a better me and man every day- all just by being her, not pushing or having expectations or anything. Plus, many people said she was pretty, but often looked over her, I still have yet to find someone as attractive as she was, either in going out attire or staying in all day in pjs, like everything she did was adorable and in a heart beat she could turn on the sexy when needed

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  • When you are in love, you don't need to ask anyone else. You will have the experience of being in a new relationship, comparing them, and deciding that what you felt before really wasn't love. That is a very flawed comparison because

    a. you are an older, more experienced person now,
    b. you have been through a breakup with the previous love but not with the current one, and
    c. the mere passage of time makes old feelings seem less intense.

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  • I've had this conversation a few times... But what it means to me and what I would need it to mean for a partner..

    Someone most of all you see the rest of your life with. Of course you have the feelings of sexual attraction and compassion... But it also has to be a mutual feeling of "This is the person I'm deciding on spending the rest of my life with because I don't want to be without them"

    It's awesome that you found someone who you feel that way about. Best of luck!

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  • I think your definition is pretty much on point. My last relationship, I really thought that I was falling for her throughout the first couple months. Then I started realizing that I just thought she was really pretty. I loved spending time with her and hated time away from her, but the constant pull wasn't always there. Lots of things she did started annoying me. Sometimes the people you love will annoy you, but you don't want to realize you love someone after you lose them. I regret breaking things off with her. Take a chance on love. It's worth it!

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  • The things that happens to me in Love at first sight-ish

    1: heavy eye contact
    2: when I reached home my heart started beating faster
    3: she took my breath away (literally I had problem breathing)
    4:- and I still after 9 months I remember every is single moment.

    Sadly it was the first and last time I saw her.

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  • Yeah you feel it

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  • When all you want to do is cherish that person.

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  • Your brain goes to sleep, but your heart just soldiers on, and you daydream about her all the time (and not just in sexual ways), and your heart goes "peep!"

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  • Love is a feeling when physical intimacy doesn't matter anymore. It only and added bonus to the emotional connection you share.

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  • You know when you love someone, when there all you think about, and want to be around. When you love someone you will also feel butterflies in your stomach, when you kiss them passionately. Its a feeling like no other, but when you feel it, you will know.

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  • its in your gut, something you feel..

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  • Love is when, that person puts a smile on your face 24/7 and makes you happy. She's all you think about. You don't think about other woman just her. You start picturing your life with her in the future. Make love to her. Know everything little thing about her. Know how to make her happy when she's upset or mad. Love is happiness

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  • 'You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.'

    — Dr. Seuss

    “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

    ― Robert A. Heinlein

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  • When I love someone I get so excited to see her from the inside. I keep wondering what she's thinking of. What she's going to do after school..
    Love drives me crazy like that

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  • 1. Did you sleep well last night? * No? you are in love
    2. Are you hungry? * No? you are in love
    3. Did you see that just now? * No? you are in love
    So I'm asking you now, son

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  • I will feel nervous but try a lot to create chances to stay with her.

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  • I start peeking threw their windows at night and watch them sleep.

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  • Personnaly! it's when you kepp thinking about her! you want to be with her and when you are with her! Times seem so pass 10 times faster! Plus, you fell something kinda strange in your stomach! It's hard to explain!

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  • You don't.

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  • maybe there is no such thing. People say love then they end up divorced.

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  • Heart beats faster <3

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  • Hard to explain You will just know when it happens

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  • Love is a lie lol

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  • you will just know. i understand every one says that but its true.

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  • For me at first it's weird I don't really like a girl at first like that, then it all of a sudden happens and I go insane can't stop thinking about them. I didn't even mean to... usually though it's never returned so talk about a hit of self confidence and hello loserville

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  • I'll never know due to Asperger syndrome.

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  • So your first love, what was He like?

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